Do you know who Bucky is? Do you remember a woman from the 2011's Captain America: The First Avenger movie who, now that we've shifted in time to present day, is deteriorating from old age and bad movie makeup?

In GQ this month, Claire Hoffman sits down with rapper Drake for the magazine's cover story. Drake is not a horribly interesting person, and celebrity profiling is not usually a horribly interesting craft, but Hoffman wrote a great piece. Within the few hours she spent at the rapper's mansion in The Valley, she essentially lived through a real-life chapter of a 16-year-old's fan fiction. Drake wined and dined her (with white wine spritzers!) in his backyard terrace—complete with waterfalls, bronze animal statues, and a giant fire pit "fit for a king from Middle-earth"—and they watched Sixteen Candles. All that was missing was a bearskin rug.

A brief look at the GQ profile pieces mentioned in this article about female writers profiling male celebrities.

Unfortunately, the two stars claim that a sexy pictures rumor is just that, a rumor. Also today: January Jones skips the Emmys, Chris Evans competes for ladies, a sad Taylor Amstrong tale, and a sadder Aniston one.

Lindsay Lohan screams drunkenly into the void. Kristin Cavallari's fiance dumps her. Leighton Meester sues her mother. Chris Evans is "drowning" in "raging insecurity." Ben Affleck has Bieber hair. Monday gossip is a lost cause.

Lindsay Lohan throws her weight around a parking lot and says she is a ballerina. Chris Brown's latest temper tantrum includes the phrase "faggot ass." Captain America drove Chris Evans into therapy. Wednesday gossip is kind of a big deal.

Paramount and Marvel Studios have a bit of a marketing challenge on their hands with their upcoming Captain America: The First Avenger. Namely, how do you sell a pro-U.S.A superhero movie to the many regions of the globe that can't stand us? Their solution was to play it safe, and release the film in all foreign markets as just "The First Avenger."

Emma Watson's love life is lacking. Lady Gaga'a bodyguard beats up a fan. Suri Cruise's shoe collection is worth $150K. Chris Evans admits he is balding. Wednesday gossip intimidates men.

Here's a full-length trailer for Captain America, Marvel's square-jawed "first Avenger" who fights Nazis, particularly those led by the terrifying Red Skull, a guy with a red skull. But ol' Red Skull is not the most terrifying thing in this movie!

Did James Franco enact the most satisfying zit-popping known to man after the Oscars? Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart make out on a dance floor. Bieber and Selena Gomez make love with their hands. Melissa Leo rather regrets dropping an f-bomb. Monday gossip is an Oscars hangover.

This oft-overlooked demographic may just finally get the TV show they deserve. Also today: a new Charlie's Angels is bad for America, more news about Law & Order: Los Angeles shake-up, and superhero sneak peeks!

Gucci has a new fragrance, Guilty, and Frank Miller directed a promotional short for it—starring Evan Rachel Wood and Chris Evans—that'll premiere during the 2010 VMAs. The weird part: there's a trailer out. A trailer. For a commercial.

At least at the box office where the unstoppable fire-breathers roared for another week. They've been trained how to fly, but J.Lo's career is still in an unstoppable tailspin thanks to another movie dud.

Yes, like her hero, Palin is going on reality TV. Plus: A new Scream movie, another interesting HBO project, lots of pilot news, and we officially have our Captain America.

Reading about the comeback struggle of American Beauty weirdo Wes Bentley yesterday got us thinking about other youngish, once-promising stars who made a big initial splash and then mostly disappeared. Let's give some career advice to Bentley and four others.

· Tights-friendly prettyboys Chris Evans and Brandon Routh join Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, playing two evil ex-boyfriends Michael Cera must defeat in order to win the woman of his dreams. [THR]

While some know Chris Evans from Fantastic Four, others are better-acquainted with the actor because of a notorious, shirtless photo shoot he did almost five years ago for Flaunt magazine.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you catch John Krasinski cutting ahead of you in line at the airport.

• The final verdict on Britney's VMA disaster: "She danced like she had a pantload." You stay classy, Post! [NYP]
  

• Page Six alleges that ex-con heiress Paris Hilton's new cleaned-up image is no more than a charade, a sham, the work of her crisis-management team. Oh, say it ain't so! [Page Six]