It may come as something of a shock to those of us who feel that, like the poor, Cindy Adams we have always had with us. But it's not true: the Post gossip dowager celebrates her twenty-fifth anniversary with that paper tomorrow. Today's column is a riot of self-celebration, and, to be fair, she deserves it. Since she's already pre-empted our usual jokes (she's old, her "predictions" are ridiculous restatements of the conventional wisdom, Steve Dunleavy has a significant problem with alcohol) with witty self-effacement, we will simply offer her our fond regards on the milestone. In what other town could a column like this run for twenty-five years? Only in New York, kids, only in New York.

• The true heroes of September the 11th: those brave souls who manufacture and sell us ridiculous collectibles. [Zulkey]
• Oliver Stone considers a second 9/11 movie. Awesome, because we need more of that great shit. [The Reeler]
• The Taliban celebrates, making Anderson Cooper run a little more than he's comfortable with. [You Tube]
• Adding to the Road to 9/11 docudrama controversy: those bastards didn't even film in the U-S-of-A. [Swanky Beast]

Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams emerges from her mausoleum this morning to -

Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams has been on the concert beat of late, yesterday covering flagging sales for Barbra Streisand's current tour, today looking at the struggles of the Dixie Chicks. But something goes terribly awry when she tries to conflate the band's struggles with those of Connecticut senator Joe Lieberman:

Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams relates the following news concerning a recent game of chance: "HUNCH players in New York's daily lotto game won the other day when they boxed numbers 1880. That just so happens to be the year of N.Y.C.'s legendary snowstorm. And how's that for 100-degree August?"

Either it's the heat or her medication's been adjusted, but Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams is even more disjointed than usual today. Items crash into each other with no attempt at transition, there's an entire bit about Star Jones that never once mentions Star Jones by name, and, best of all, there's this:

Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams has gone above and beyond the call of duty today, acting as a beleagured-but-proud emissary on behalf of aged model Christie Brinkley's estranged, philandering husband, Peter Cook. She is but a messenger, and it is her duty — both as a journalist and wizened carrier pigeon — to get Cook's message to Brinkley via the intimate front page of the Post: "I love my wife. I have loved her since the day I met her. Please . . . I love her...For a lifetime I've tried to prove how much I love her. This is an aberration...I'm sorry. I'm contrite. I'm stupid. Foolish. No excuse."

Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams takes time away from her busy schedule of divining Bonnie Raitt's hair care secrets to inform us of a plot so insidious that it may affect the very fabric of the society in which we live: the e-mail scam.

Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams is in a wistful mood today, reflecting on patriotism and great moments in our city's past. Cindy claims that the following information comes from the kind of pamphlet you pick up in any hotel lobby, but we're pretty sure this is actually gussied up oral history from her own memory:

Like an arthritic Lazarus, Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams comes forth from the tomb this morning to alert New York that — and you might want to sit down, this is a hell of a scoop — there may be a spot of bid-rigging in the construction industry. Cindy, who recently blew the lid off that whole "special treatment for politicians" scandal, is too coy to reveal specific details, but she can go far enough out on a limb to reveal that the nefarious shenanigans are taking place "in Long Island," and they're being looked at "by the Feds."

Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams shakes a bony finger at her readers this morning as she reveals how, once again, the world won't listen to her powers of prognostication:

Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams alights from her crypt this morning to remind you that she sees and knows all. Specifically, she predicted that "House of Representatives members would be indicted," George Pataki would run for president, Charlie Gibson would take the top slot at ABC's "World News Tonight," and that Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe would get divorced. Cindy's freakish powers of prognostication have also allowed her to reveal that "George W. Bush will leave office in January of 2009," Britney Spears will "regret" her marriage to Kevin Federline, and "the Earth will continue to revolve around the sun." We're not sure how she does it, but you've got to admit, it's pretty fucking spooky.

Great news for the cravat-wearing crowd: the third incarnation of Le Cirque opens to the public on May 30, and this week it's been practicing for the real deal. Last night it hosted a benefit for the Whitney, and tomorrow it will open its doors to a select group of 1,500 of New York's most crotchety scenesters. Who to expect at this intimate preview? Who cares? There's only person who matters and who will most certainly be there: cryogenically preserved gossip columnist Cindy Adams.

Post gossip dowager Cinday Adams today breaks the news that "just before his fight with Sonny Liston, [Floyd Patterson] told me: "If I lose the championship tonight, I hope you'll give him the same honors and respect you've always given me."

A glimpse into the future: from right, Lindsay Lohan at ages 19, 25, and 30.

Unbelievable, but antiquated gossip columnist Cindy Adams was just on the Today show, blathering away to Katie Couric about seemingly the only thing she can talk about, her freaking dogs (no wonder Couric wants to move to hard news). Adams has written another book about the importance of yorkshire terriers, entitled Living a Dog's Life - Jazzy, Juicy, and Me — it's a stunning follow-up to her first lovemaking-with-terriers book, The Gift of Jazzy. Any crazy-old-lady vibe she throws off is amplified by the two lifelike yorkies sitting on her lap. They look so real, and yet they don't move.

• Mass Appeal mag turns 10 and launches a spinoff, presumably for even masser appeal. [Folio:]
• Emeril says Cindy Adams fabricated a quote from him. Only in New Orleans, kids, only in New Orleans. [Times-Picayune]
• Reporters go out in the snow to tell us it's snowing, and a CNN hero wonders why. [NYT]

Someone mentioned a couple of months ago that "Art Cooper and the Hilton Sisters" sounded like a nightclub act. On that note, from "10 New Indie-Rock Band Names Found in Cindy Adams' April 18 New York Post Column, 'Little-Known Facts, Well-Known Celebs'": Claire Danes' 3 A.M. Panic, Jennifer Aniston's Diet Sacrifice, Patricia Arquette's Slightly Buck Teeth. See also "10 New Hard-Core Band Names Found in Thomas Friedman's April 20 New York Times Column, 'The Third Bubble,'" (i.e., Will to Fight, Come to Threaten.)
Band names [Observer]

· Elizabeth Hurley has convinced her married lover, Arun Nayar, to file for divorce from his Italian model wife so he can marry her instead. [Page Six]
· The Loser's Lounge tribute to the Mamas and the Papas got raided Friday night by various city agencies and the show was delayed for an hour. No violations were found. One spectator said he heard over 40 places got raided over the weekend. [Page Six]
· Rosie O'Donnell screamed at NYT music critic Jon Pareles to "get up and dance" at the Annie Lennox concert on Monday. [Page Six]
· Cindy Adams swipes back at Maer Roshan after his staff claims in his new magazine, Radar that he's such a media whore that he'd "have sex with Cindy Adams for two more column inches." "My sources claim those two extra inches Maer could use are not in a column." [Cindy Adams]
· Tony Blair will soon be making a guest appearance on The Simpsons. [NY Daily News]

· Details Editor-in-Chief Dan Peres on a Stuff cartoon depicting Details offices as staffed by leather-and-chaps-clad gay men: "Once and for all, both my reader and I are completely comfortable with the content of Details. The guy behind these Stuff cartoons has raised homophobia to new heights. Now leave me alone, I'm in the middle of a waxing." [Page Six]
· Dr. Seuss gets litigious: Mitch and Doug Pollok, who run One Fish Two Fish on Madison Avenue and 97th Street, are being challenged by Dr. Seuss Enterprises for the right to use the name. [Page Six]
· Fired Us Weekly writer Lewis Beale: "I've been fired. You can ask the powers-that-be why. I'll miss a whole bunch of you. And heythere are worse things than getting fired in April. The pool in my complex opens on Memorial Day." [Page Six]
· Cindy Adams: "Guess who the Middle East's problems have upset? Plastic surgeons. Big-spender Arabs come here to have their two faces lifted. They've put off the trips." (Two faces lifted? Oooch.) [Cindy Adams]
· Chicago is now the highest grossing Miramax film ever at $157 million. [Liz Smith]
· Ben Stiller, on fan mail: "I pay a huge chunk of money to my agent and publicity people to shield me from my fan mail. I don't even want to know how many letters I get. I don't see fan mail as a good thing. It always makes me think of stalkers." [NY Daily News]