Get Used To It: Just when we thought we were done with today's People-led insurrection of the Claymates, this post from "NClayolina" pulls us back in: "I will never be able to listen to [Clay Aiken] sing, 'O Holy Night,' knowing he desires unholy nights." [The Clayboard]

You might not have taken Molls for much of a Claymate, but we're counting her today among the legions still baffled, hurt, shocked and stunned over their hero's recent defection from the closet. As such, today's episode of Defamer To Do's provides an essential period of reflection for Molls and her anguished partners in faith to grapple with Clay Aiken's disclosure and finally — finally — let the healing begin. Or, if you were in the minority who saw through the ruse all along, follow along for a glimpse at today's essential places to be for the dark night of the soul ahead.· The Hives at the Mayan · KGB Comedy at Bar Lubitsch · War Tapes EP Release Party at Boardner's · You Need Help at UCB

This was taken from the New York Times homepage today. A veiled reference to new daddy and recent gay shame closet refugee Clay Aiken? The singer used to sort of identify as asexual...

Radar took the plunge into the dark, wailing world of Clay Aiken messageboarders today to procure a soil sample of the newly openly gay singer's bedrock fan base. They found reactions running the full gamut of the Kubler-Ross cycle, from bitter denial ("Believe if you want, I just know that nothing is true unless it is printed in the fan club") to glorious acceptance ("Clay is still the same talented singer I saw on AI2 five years ago. Nothing for me has changed. The baby is adorable.") Heartened by Radar's bravery, we dove in ourselves and found a few other choice voices of ClayNation to share with you, and we managed to rustle up the first page of the People interview: from Holmes24 (most likely Anna from Jezebel):

While not everyone is surprised by Clay Aiken's decision to come out of the closet (speaking to Extra, Simon Cowell said dryly, "It's like being told Santa Claus isn't real"), there is one sort of person who's had to take the workday off to burn Anthropologie candles and listen to "Bridge Over Troubled Water" on repeat, and she is the "Claymate." Aiken's most ardent fans are predictably in a lather about the revelation, with reactions running the gamut of the Kübler-Ross cycle of grief (albeit with more emoticons).

Now that America has had time to process yesterday's shocking bombshell that Clay Aiken is gay (and now that Debbie from accounting has gotten her breathing under control), People magazine has released excerpts from their exclusive cover interview. In it, Aiken discusses coming out to his mother four years ago, a rocky experience that may have prepared him for the real hurdle: weathering reaction from millions of hysterical Claymates.

We're still reeling from the bombshell news that singer Clay Aiken is gay. We keep returning to the picture of his revelatory People magazine cover and pleading to unknowable gods for an answer. Why??? And— Wait a second. Haven't we seen this picture before? The cocked head, the casual yet frank declaration, the curious hair? Um, yes! Yes we have. On NSYNCer Lance Bass's People cover two years ago and comedian Ellen DeGeneres' big Time cover ten years ago. Same exact head position, nearly the same hair, and Clay and Ellen even have that little extra "Yes" or "Yep"—that same sheepish sense of "yeah, I know you knew, I'm just sayin' so it's out there and all." Bass didn't get one of those folksy affirmatives because, we suspect, he was still laboring under the illusion that people weren't sure about his sexuality. Or maybe People magazine was. Gay rumors dogged him, to be sure, but not in the same way that they followed DeGeneres and Aiken. So is this the way to come out on magazines? I mean, straight dudes would never do that head tilt, right? Oh, and where in the heck is Lindsay Lohan's cover?

♦ You probably heard the news yesterday that Clay Aiken is coming out of the closet. We thought we'd remind you again since you're undoubtedly still in a state of shock and disbelief. [P6, People]
♦ Anna Wintour took the trash out of her West Village townhouse wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, and slippers. [R&M]
♦ Olivia Palermo's role in Whitney Port's new Hills spinoff will earn her $12,000 an episode. [P6]
♦ In response to her father's recent rants, Lindsay Lohan says her dad is out of line and "obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods." [P6]
♦ Jude Law was spotted with protestors outside the UN this week, although he was acting like "more of an observer than a protestor." [MSNBC]

Not since the University of Alaska's 2006 study proving that bears do, in fact, shit in the woods has a more exciting and revelatory discovery been made: on the cover of the new issue of People magazine, American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken comes out of the closet. Yes I know. Take a seat and a deep breath before continuing. The long-suspected homosexual (who got caught trolling for gay internet sex a few years back) recently had a kid through a surrogate and starred on Broadway in Spamalot. He made his decision to come out because he realized he "cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things." Welcome to the world, sir. But wait, first Lindasy Lohan comes out on the radio and now this?? Who's next, Anderson Cooper? [Towleroad] (Seriously, though, good for him. All the best.)

Joining Lindsay Lohan in declaring today a holiday for finally confirming open, same-sex secrets, Clay Aiken has come out of the closet. In an edition of People magazine to be published tomorrow, Aiken poses with his newborn son Parker and confirms the rumors that have dogged the singer since he belted out his first glory note on American Idol.The content of the article has not yet been released, but some hints can be gleaned about his long-anticipated confession from the Aiken quote teased on the cover: "I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things." Kudos, Clay! Now where's your donation? [HuffPo]

When word came over the wires that Us Weekly was breaking the news, "Singer Ricky Martin Welcomes Twin Boys"... well, let's just say that headline promises a different article than the one we got. Still: congratulations are in order for the pop singer, who's followed in the footsteps of Clay Aiken and become a new father. Says Us:

Today brings the joyous news that ovary-shaking Idol demigod Clay Aiken has become a father to a healthy baby boy through the miracle of cutting edge fertilization techniques (the specs of how it was all accomplished are available here, if you care). In honor of this most improbable celebrity parenthood, we thought we'd compare and contrast Clay's siring achievement to that of another unlikely new dad, Matthew McConaughey:

· From clingy dresses to canine masturbation, from mean-spirited reviews to disappointed Cosmo swillers doling out handjobs, we found ourselves oversexed in our city.
· The same cannot be said for Clay Aiken — he's pregnant!
· We were accused of being part of an "extraordinary smear campaign" after passing along a tip about Dan Aloni's alleged angry outburst on the Fox lot.
· Angelina Jolie gave birth to two lovely, genetically perfect children named Isla Marcheline and Amelie Jane. Wait, no she didn't. That left Entertainment Tonight paying the ultimate price.
· George Clooney bought Sarah Larson a one way ticket to Dumpsville.
· Lindsay Lohan's lesbian love was generously endorsed by Michael Lohan.
· Ben Silverman forgot to sync his Blackberry, enraging Ari Emmanuel [sic].
· We found out Kirsten Dunst wasn't drunk or drugged, just depressed. Then her pants caught fire.
· Sharon Stone got bit by the karma chameleon.
· The season finale of 'Lost' left us all wondering who's in the casket? Hint: he feels good!
· 50 Cent pulled a Left Eye (allegedly).
· We saved you $150K.
· Rachel [sic] Ray was in hot pursuit of extra virgins in the afterlife.
· We wept a little on the inside when Bill Murray's halo was tarnished.
· The End Of Ideas train kept plowing forward, picking up motormouth cops and ouija boards along the way.
· ScarJo CloneGate!
· We paid tribute to the dearly departed Sydney Pollack and Harley Korman (and angered a number of humor-challenged readers along the way).
· The next time we end up drunk in Tijuana, we are definitely getting that Patrick Swayze Centaur tattoo.

• Bill Murray's wife wants a divorce and claims the actor is a pot-smoking globe-trotting sex addict who is physically abusive. The Daily News recalls: "At a bash at Robert De Niro's Tribeca Grill in the '90s, we watched as Murray punch-shoved photographer Diane Cohen in the chest."

We have good news. Strike that—we have unbelievably good news. What's the difference? Unbelievably good news is good news you once thought impossible—like a live-feed from Mars, or Robert Downey Jr. dominating the summer box office. Or Clay Aiken becoming a dad. TMZ reports:

American Idoler and suspected gay Clay Aiken seems to have gotten someone pregnant. Don't freak out, it was an artificial insemination. OK, freak out. Ewww.

It's Wednesday, and the gays are sad. As we stare out the window, pink rain spattering on the glass, and sip our tea with Valium crushed all up in it, we would like you all to know about it. Specifically, suspected (and, um, proven) geigh and American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken would like to sing about furtively masturbating to pictures of Chad Michael Murray while locked in a closet, and some sorta geigh (he dated Lance "On The Line" Bass) named Reichen Lehmkuhl (evidently that's a name) wants to teach us an important lesson. Clay was on QVC recently promoting a new album or haircut or line of products for lonely people. He sang his new song, subtly called "The Real Me," which includes lyrics like "Do I let it show, does anybody know?" (yes, dear) and "Living a charade, always on parade" (charades imply guessing, love). So yeah. That dude is blue. Reichen was apparently dumped by someone who was just into him for his massive, massive fame. He wrote a blog entry on his MySpace account saying things like "Never believe them when they say they're only going to sleep with you, especially when there is a social climbing opportunity in front of them." Oh how terrible. That must be a constant cross to bear for someone who was on Big Brother Amazing Race once. After the jump, find a video of Clay singing the sad gay bastard song, and get the full Reichen blog entry.

After hearing that Billion Dollar Girl Miley Cyrus has added yet another name to her list of identities, we had to wonder how all this name-changing business is supposed to help an already-famous star's career. Cyrus, who was given the flashy title Destiny Hope Cyrus at birth, was nicknamed Smiley Miley as a kid by her achy breaky dad Billy and, guess what, it stuck. Now, AOL is reporting that Cyrus has officially changed her name to Miley Ray Cyrus, just like dad Billy Ray. But how have the most memorable mid-career name games fared when it comes to a celebrity's career? We took a look at a few of the most famous quick switches, and discovered it takes more than a flashy press announcement (and even a flashy new symbol) to inject a falling star with newfound fame...

For the first time in recorded history, we actually felt sorry for poor chubster Kevin Federline yesterday. After all, as those golfing pictures revealed, that he's now sporting a Buddha big enough to hamper his golf swing. But apparently the slideshow-happy folks at Us Weekly didn't share our sympathies; in the wake of the revelation of Fat K-Fed, they've posted a slideshow featuring other formerly thin celebs who've gone from "hunk to chunk" in recent years. But being the stubborn argumentative types that we are, we're going to have to disagree with their take on all of these pound-packers' alleged downfalls. Sure, Clay Aiken's no prize these days (was he ever?), and Alec Baldwin certainly looked sexier in Glengarry Glen Ross than he currently does on 30 Rock, but a few members of Us' Fatso Club actually look far hotter with some extra meat on their bones. Our rebuttals, with pictorial evidence, after the jump.

Clay Aiken is apparently not silly enough for Spamalot, the smash Broadway musical whose cast he recently joined. Hm. I guess it's not that hard to imagine that an "asexual" homebody "dork" isn't silly. Or, maybe it is. [EW.com]