Roy Scheider, the square-jawed, broken-nosed guy's guy in whose capable hands Amity Island residents and vacationers entrusted their lives, passed away yesterday in Little Rock at age 75, after a three-year fight with blood cancer. While he will forever be associated with Chief Brody, a man with a good sense for shark-hunting seafaring-vessel sizes, it was his tour-de-force song-and-dance turn in All That Jazz, playing a loose version of director Bob Fosse, that was his most accomplished and most personally favored role. If it weren't for that movie's bleak showstopper finale (above), we might never have even associated something as fleeting as mortality with someone as ruggedly substantial as Scheider. But, hey—if you gotta go, at least give 'em the old razzle dazzle on your way out.

Remember, remember the ... 10th of February? There were no spectacular fireworks flying out of the Hollywood Scientology Center set to Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture" yesterday afternoon, but there were an awful lot of folks in Guy Fawkes masks protesting the somewhere-in-the-Pacific-Ocean-based organization. It was one of several such demonstrations held throughout the world yesterday. For those out of the internet-meme-activism loop:

Gawker videographer Alex Goldberg crashed a G-Star party at the Gramercy Hotel this weekend where he caught Heather Graham dancing badly and bugged popular Scientologist celebrity Danny Masterson. We're posting this primarily in the hopes that the irritating Masterson gets in trouble with his church for associating with a known enemy like Gawker.

A loose coalition of Internet users calling themselves "Anonymous" have, they say, "declared war" on the Church of Scientology. But they're going beyond the usually ineffective methods of online protest. "Our struggle is directed against the toxic ideals and behavior the corrupt, violent and abusive leadership of the church," the group declared in one YouTube video. Scary, right? Well, maybe as scary as a grumpy lolcat. Check out the clip: At protests over in London today, the gathered Anon wore masks from a 2005 Natalie Portman vehicle and chanted "Do Not Want." Can haz SP?

Here's Mark Zuckerberg speaking at Stanford back in November 2005. The Facebook founder says,

"By the time I was done throwing together the site, I had no idea how successful it would be," Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg told an audience at Stanford back in 2005. "By day eight or nine I had a different idea I wanted to do. I was going to scrap it." But that wouldn't have shown that "bitch" Jessica Alona, would it have, Zuck?

G4's Olivia Munn, a host on the videogame-and-tech cable channel, recreates famous hot-girl scenes from movies like Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Wayne's World for a photo shoot in Complex magazine. "Olivia is every guy's perfect woman," says a commentator in the video. "Obviously very gorgeous, but can also talk about anything that a guy would be interested in." She also claims her anal virginity is up for auction on eBay, but we can't find the listing. Maybe she took it down because she can't give negative feedback to the buyer anymore.

Speaking for the masses, commenter Zoo responded to our poll on tech's most eligible bachelors, "Why is Pete Cashmore even mentioned if he isn't in the option pool?" Fine. For Zoo, StyleHive's Patricia Handschiegel and the rest of you who found yourselves forced to vote for Mr. Robert "I Wear Extra Medium" Pazornik — here's another healthy dose of Pete, courtesy of Tech Soup.

While it's true we've rarely seen Harvard's Woman of the Year Paris Hilton far from at least one member of her four-legged menagerie, had you asked us to guess just how many animals co-exist with her behind the walls of her gated estate, we would have probably thrown out a number like a half-dozen: a chihuahua, a kinkajou, a billy goat, couple ducks, maybe an emu for good measure. Never, however, in our wildest, animal-exploiting, poopie-bedsheet dreams, did the following occur to us:

Apparently, network partner ABC is succumbing to the same "Which show are we going to put on?" panic as the Academy, as this promo teasing a "Oscar's Best 'Fuck You' Moments" montage that would run during a clip-heavy, strike-crippled telecast has surfaced on the YouTubes. We hope it's testing well; even if the WGA contract dispute is resolved in time to save the program, the normal awards ceremony could definitely be livened up by revisiting the infamous "It's about fucking time, it's been ten goddamn years since Pretty Woman, you ignorant shit-for-brains voters!" tirade Julia Roberts unleashed following her 2001 Best Actress win for Erin Brockovich.

Popular character actor and mendacious old fool Ben Stein has a little movie coming out about how "BIG SCIENCE" doesn't want you to know the truth about evolution. Stein salutes the scientists who are bad enough to question Darwinism in his upcoming documentary Expelled, about an unscrupulous Nixonite hack who parlays his unlikely pop cultural fame into an inexplicable career as an entertainer/propaganist. Rex Sorgatz asks, "do you remember when Ben Stein wasn't bat shit crazy?" Actually, uh, not really. Trailer after the jump! [Fimoculous]

· On last night's Late Show, Dave and Vince Vaughn hopped into the Career Wayback machine and revisited the time Vince nearly got his ass kicked by a steroid-enhanced Peter Billingsley. An after-school special classic!
· Amy Winehouse will miss the Grammys because she been denied a U.S. visa; the Embassy fears she might attempt to use her bloodstream to smuggle enough drugs into L.A. to kill everyone in the Staples Center. [rimshot]
· Wisely, John Mayer knows that all bloggers must be allowed no closer than 30 feet to him, even on supposedly safe cruise ships.
· Hey, unicorn! [via our favorite unicorn pusher]

Larry Birkhead and integrity go together like peanut butter and mayonnaise. While we have never held him in anything even remoting approaching regard, we think that this clip might one day go down as his lowest moment. That goes for those creeps over at The Insider, too. This clip of Birkhead trotting out Dannielynn to the Bahamian gravesite where her mother is buried repulses us on more levels than we care to count. But we'll try.

Shpigler the Shark has some excellent advice for Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang on negotiating with Steve Ballmer. Remind him that he has other options. "He can go buy a country. Take $44 billion and buy a country. Go buy Liberia. Try and monetize Liberia! ... Be cool when you talk about numbers. You are bigger than $44 billion dollars. $98 billion in cash. If not, I will go to Google." Catch the full video after the jump.

Just a few weeks after announcing the next James Bond movie would be called Quantum of Solace (a title that, for us at least, evokes Stephen Hawking staring wistfully out a Cambridge library window more than it does tuxedos and Walther PPKs), producers have now released the film's teaser poster.

Tom is getting older every year — and that's not even counting his little fib about his age. So News Corp. has found a new 20something — this time, a real one — to serve as MySpace's face: COO Amit Kapur, the guy MySpace hired to execute its plan to mimic Facebook. Elevated from the ranks, Kapur oversees business development, business operations, platform development, mobile, finance, HR and customer support. Which sounds impressive until interviewer Kara Swisher dismisses him with a deadpan, "Wow, you're the big guy."

Google missed Wall Street's expectations last quarter and during a conference call with analysts, CEO Eric Schmidt and the gang blamed ad partner MySpace. This news shocked, simply shocked, MySpace cofounder Chris DeWolfe, he tells interviewer Kara Swisher in this clip. He has "no idea" what all that was about, he says. Then — uh oh, it's slippery! — DeWolfe starts to backslide.

We'd like to begin this post by emphatically stating that getting your car broken into SUCKS. We have been there, it is awful, and we genuinely empathize with Katherine Heigl and her emasculated husband Joshua during this time of need. But, having gotten that out of the way, we'd like to point out a few of the more absurd things about this clip. First and foremost, we'll begin with TMZ's editorial decision to set up a clip about a car being burgled by using a scene from ... wait for it ... The Great Muppet Caper!

Even if Fox's The Moment Truth never lives up to its Apocalypse-beckoning advance billing , the show will have provided a valuable service to the very society it's so far failed to destroy in exposing a disturbing deception far more widespread than we ever could have imagined: the artificial enhancement of male "packages" by means of designer jean/Dockers/mankini stuffing.