White House Correspondents' Association head Ann Compton announced today that the upcoming WHCA dinner will be headlined by late-night funnyman Craig Ferguson. Ferguson has the benefit of being totally inoffensive and theoretically funny, unlike former hosts Stephen Colbert and Rich Little, respectively. No one is sure what to expect, though, as no one has ever watched his program. Ferguson became a citizen just last week, and as his first official act as an American, he will act as obsequious court jester to a room full of war criminals feted as heroes, press members groveling before the ostensible targets of their muckraking, and Laura Bush's face's touching if mildly unsettling tribute to the late Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker. (After the jump, Ferguson takes his citizenship test.) [WHCA]

First things first: How about that Matthew McConaughey's new haircut? Appearing on The Today Show to promote Fool's Gold (formerly Romancing the Stoner), the shirt-averse movie star unveiled a jarring new squaredo. Once we adjusted to the thought of McConaughey being robbed of the luscious, starfish-and-seaweed tangled manlocks that for so long have defined his freespirited, shaka-sign-delivering attitude, however, we were able to focus on what he was actually saying to a very giggly Meredith Vieira. (God she loves her job!)

For those of you requiring context for the disturbingly violent cross-network brawl between Conan O'Brien, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart you're about to witness, a feud recently erupted between O'Brien and Colbert over their dueling claims of having made Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee candidacy viable (ignoring, of course, The Chuck Norris factor).

Why are Yahoo executives looking for an alternative to Microsoft? Ask Jim Cramer: "The outside of Yahoo is very good. The inside? They haven't been able to figure out how to monetize these pageviews. So basically, [Microsoft] can take their pageviews [and] fire everyone. Maybe there's some sales people you keep."

Earlier on Today, Matt Lauer lobbed a couple softballs at John McCain, then Meredith Vieira interviewed Hillary Clinton with some tough, contentious questions about why, precisely, the former first lady hadn't just locked this goddamn nomination up already. Because she's a liar? Then Matt Lauer had a genial chat with Barack Obama. LEAVE HILLARY ALONE!

· As a couple of different people have now pointed this out to us, we feel compelled to share: Before Matt Damon was fucking Sarah Silverman, he was all over Scotty's ladyfriend in Eurotrip. [via Lindsayism]
· Robert De Niro has come down with Obamamania.
· Learn all about new Britney Spears lawyer Adam Streisand's not-so-secret connection to another, much more famous Streisand! Yes, it's the one you're thinking of!
· Turner Classic Movies dares the WGA to stay on strike.

There are two ways of looking at 20th Century Fox's decision not to air an ad for The Happening during the Super Bowl last night (Ed. Note: teaser trailer removed by the request of 20th Century Fox). The first is that the company made a financially savvy decision by choosing not to blow $2.7 million on a thirty-second advertisement (like all those other studios did). The other is that the studio is feeling a bit gunshy on the financial prospects of Night's first film since the unmitigated disaster that was Lady In The Water. And as for which theory we think holds more water? We're going with the latter.

Yes, it was a helluva game. And yes, the Manning bros' simultaneous smiles were near-cinematic, as were Plaxico's tears. But unlike the rest of America, we opposed conformity and muted the game, not the commercials. Why? Brand spankin' new movie trailer debuts! And no offense to unlikely hero Eli, but even your wildcard win can't usurp any heat from the likes of Iron Man's Robert Downey Jr. clad in jet-powered metal or Adam Sandler's Israeli accent as a combat soldier-turned-hair-stylist in You Don't Mess With The Zohan. All six trailers shown (and then promptly dissected) after the jump.

Paris Hilton's last appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman was, in no uncertain terms, one of the greatest moments in U.S. television history, to go up there with the moon landing, the final episode of M*A*S*H, and the entire run of Joe Millionaire in the annals of essential road-markers tracking the rise, fall, and eventual obliteration of a once-promising colonial social experiment.

• Point Break and heartbreak [BoingBoing TV]

We fear that after Snoop's flawless performance as a warm and fuzzy "gangsta" on Larry King this past Friday, the ol' suspendered geezer/legend is gonna call one of his 89 doctors and request some of this "medical marijuana" Snoop waxes silkily about in this clip. In the final moments of the show, King, as usual, saves the only question we actually care about for last: Snoop, what's the deal with you and this 'pot' you continuously speak of? After a stoned-out-of-his-gourd grin, the father of three responds with, "I'm on medical marijuana as we speak." Righteous! We just hope that producers from the Martha Stewart show were watching. After all, can you imagine a more awesome hour of television than Martha and Snoop making and eating a whole plate of pot brownies?

"Hollywood director Robert Greenwald" and the Daily News's Rush & Molloy made Bill O'Reilly very sad when they send some homeless vets over to Fox News's New York headquarters to deliver a petition to Bill O'Reilly about how they actually do exist. O'Reilly's ambush producer exclusively revealed that most of the picketing homeless vets don't even watch Fox. Then Bill played a clip from Xanadu. A Rush & Molloy stringer was also sort of abused, amusingly. Clip after the jump!

If one 30-second Super Bowl spot fetched $2.7 million, as we've been told approximately 2.7 million times going into this year's festivities, then our cursory calculations put the cost of this Bud Light/Semi-Pro crossover ad at somewhere around the $7.1 million mark.

My favorite new web series is a bunch of Photoshop lessons. No, really, funny ones, in which the teacher works out his frustrations at his marriage through angry software lessons. The script is clever ("we could use this tool to clean off some of the dirty shame and unfulfilled dreams") and makes some jokes only possible in (I can't believe I'm saying this) the medium of screencast comedy. Because the nerdy joke beneath this is that he's actually teaching Photoshop techniques. Below, watch the best episode.

You've probably seen that Bill Gates wants the world to embrace a kinder form of capitalism. But have you seen fired Connected Ventures cofounder and "burgeoning music entrepreneur" Jakob Lodwick's rebuttal? It's Objectivism in all its glory! Lodwick tells Gates to stop justifying capitalism by saying it serves to better others.

Hey! (Hey!) You! (You!) Chris Crocker wants a boyfriend! Background: He's still only famous for being the one Britney fan more disturbed/ing than Britney herself. Extra background: He is a he. The 19-year-old Crocker still lives with his grandparents somewhere in the South (hometown and real name undisclosed). But if you figure the kid's rumored upcoming reality show will turn him into a star, see his video casting call below. " I want a guy who is off his rocker for Crocker," he says, "who wants to fight for me tooth and nail!" Suitors can leave video responses on YouTube to apply.

Behold the best tech ad in Super Bowl history: Apple's "1984" ad, which cost $1.6 million to make and run, and only aired nationally once. The following nine ads, while perhaps not as iconic, are all fascinating in how they seek to make the mysteries of tech compelling to the masses.

On this morning's Today Show, Jim Goldman, CNBC's Silicon Valley bureau chief, said one thing is for sure: Microsoft will not kill the Yahoo brand. "This is one of the world's great brands," Goldman says. Instead, expect more social networking, "the whole idea of community or the idea of getting sort of a relationship — if you will — with the website. Sort of everything you want to do online or in the world you'll be able to do through Microsoft and Yahoo." OK, so that makes no sense. Great analysis, Jim.