With just a little over a week until the new season of Entourage begins, we thought we'd take a moment to salute the most complex and rewarding of all relationships in that ongoing industry sausage fest: that of Ari and Lloyd. And no better examples of their glorious co-dependency exist than in those moments when everyone's favorite double-banger-securing Zeus completely loses his shit on his fiercely loyal Gaysian henchman. Defamer videographer Molly McAleer combed through the Entourage archives to find the greatest of all spittle-flecked Ari-Lloyed exchanges—though call us biased, our favorite one didn't make the cut.

Missed the convention so far? Want to know what all the fuss is about? Truthfully it's a series of mediocre-to-decent speeches and then hours and hours and HOURS of utter bullshit. The speeches are too long anyway, so our video department cut the whole thing down to 90 seconds. You got your Michelle Obama, your Ted Kennedy, your Clintons, and, of course, the next President of the United States, Dennis Kucinich. Enjoy!

A recently unearthed artifact from 1988 offers a mass celebrity humiliation on a scale so staggering, the mind quite simply reels. The setting was that year's Academy Awards ceremony—and what better way to celebrate the most glamorous evening in entertainment that with a nine-minute-long musical number peopled by Hollywood's "brightest young stars," in which they express through singing, dancing, fencing, and moonwalking their, um, desire to become a "super duper pooper scooper" Oscar winner.Along this journey through Satan's lower colon, you'll spot some recognizable faces— Blair Underwood, Christian Slater, McDreamy, Ricki Lake, Chad Lowe, and Corey Feldman, whose bedroom walls we can only imagine were covered in "Bad" posters at the time. You'll also spot some lesser-knowns: Keith "Adventures in Babysitting" Coogan, Melora "Jan from The Office" Hardin, Carrie "Carol Burnett's deceased daughter" Hamilton, plus an elegant pas de deux featuring Tracy "Ricky's daughter/Seinfeld's twin" Nelson and someone by the name of D.A. Pauley. Have we sold this yet? Did we mention Feldman gets a dance solo at the 4:45 mark? Enjoy.

Why would anyone not think Aaron Sorkin is working on a movie about Facebook? "You can't handle the truth!" That's the line Sorkin penned for Jack Nicholson in 1992's A Few Good Men. Nicholson might well have been speaking to some of our readers, who reacted poorly to the news that the West Wing writer was working on a movie about Mark Zuckerberg's creation. One begged us to uncover the fraud: "The BBC, the Guardian and New York Magazine are all over the totally fake-seeming Aaron Sorkin movie about Facebook. Please get to the bottom of this horrible joke." Sorry, you'll have to handle this: Sorkin himself confirmed that he is indeed planning a movie about how Zuckerberg and his Harvard classmates created Facebook.Rather, Sorkin's publicist, Joy Fehily, tells us, on his behalf. Or whoever answers her email. With all the layers of secretaries and managers and representatives in Hollywood, you can never tell. Yesterday, Sorkin's agent's assistant issued a nondenial, before politely informing us, "I have to hang up on you now." Likewise, the skeptics will have to hang up on any remaining doubts that Sorkin is behind this movie. Really, could anyone else do the movie? Sorkin is the master of the office drama, picking up on the details that make an inside-baseball story at once believable to insiders and entertaining to outsiders. If it had been anyone but Sorkin, we would have scoffed, too.

A miscreant from the sordid 4chan message-board community sent rapper and social media whiz-kid Soulja Boy a text message the other day, telling him to fork over $2,500 if he wanted control over his MySpace account back. "I sent him a text message back," says Soulja Boy in a clip below, " I said fuck you, bitch. Do what you do. This motherfucker got to be fucked up." Then Soulja Boy contacted MySpace and got his account back. Now he's offering fans $10,000 for the name of the hacker. Valleywag commenter Rex Sorgatz suggests a security tip for the young man: "Perhaps his password shouldn't have been SupermanDatHo."

· On America's Got Talent last night, David Hasselhoff was refreshingly candid about the stirrings in his loins elicited by Drag Britney. [AGT] · Step! Two, Three, Ball, Step, Ball, Reverse, Change! Watch out stars—Lance means business! [Mollygood] · In this new promotional shot from Land of the Lost, Will Ferrell stands next to the kind of Sleestak you might imagine posing for pictures at Disneyland. [First Showing] · Mmmm...Hannah Montana Sweet & Sour Gummi Cocks. [BWE.tv] · And last but not least, it's Paul Reubens's birthday today. In his honor, enjoy the entire Pee-wee's Playhouse Christmas Special. Happy birthday, Pee-wee! Mm...Birthday cakey. [YouTube, YouTube, YouTube, YouTube]

Tuesday's unnerving visit to the set of Sweatin' Your 15 Minutes Away, with Heidi Montag was accompanied by an even more debilitating ebb of confidence in popular culture to ever make us smile again. So imagine the overwhelming (if perhaps coincidental) sense of joy that came along with revisiting Jane Fonda's early-'80s workout-video heyday — a brain-exploding, pre-ironic throwback to an era when only two-time Oscar winners were entitled to such garish Lycra supremacy. Sam Sparro's anthem "Black and Gold" provides the mid-tempo counterpoint, the entirety of which can be observed at Vimeo; our brains are full. Grateful, but full. And does she ever hit the spot. [Vimeo]

Look, I used to be a professional musician. And basically, most mashups, remixes, and other forms of Music 2.0 just don't work. All brain, no booty. But this remix of Bill O'Reilly's most awesomely human moment — "Fuck it! We'll do it live! Fucking thing sucks!" — blows Girl Talk off the turntable. Throw away your thinking caps and crank it to 11. Valleywag's contribution to the fad: We've successfully tainted Natali Del Conte with the line. it's so much cuter when she says it.

The iPhone 3G hasalready outsold the original iPhone. One reason for all the success? False advertising, says the U.K.'s Advertising Standards Authority. The ASA has told Apple it can no longer air an ad claiming the iPhone accesses "all parts of the Internet," since the iPhone's Safari browser can't access Web sites that use Java or Flash. "Because the ad had not explained the limitations," reads the ruling, "viewers were likely to expect to be able to see all the content on a website normally accessible through a PC rather than just having the ability to reach the website." The naughty ad, below:

American Apparel CEO Dov Charney acted out as a young man before he became a defiant adult fashion maven. Everyone knows this. So why is he "super pissed off and embarrassed" and "ranting and raving," according to an associate, about a scene from an absurdist documentary that reveals him as a crafty, charismatic little capitalist? In 20th Century Chocolate Cake, a young Charney talks about how he hides money from the redistributionist staff at his "communist" summer camp and about how all the food in his care package was given away to ungrateful poors. Maybe Charney's worried his childhood ramblings will tarnish the labor-friendly American Apparel brand. He should just be grateful he didn't talk about anything else he may have done at summer camp. UPDATE: The credits in the video above misspell the name of the filmmaker. It is Lois Siegel. [Anittah Patrick]

Tonight was going to be a sad and even tragic night for some Hillary Clinton supporters no matter what. Those who threw themselves into the presidential candidate's long and ultimately bitter campaign against Barack Obama were going to have a tough time listening to her speak anywhere on the Democratic convention schedule other than at the triumphant end. When Clinton came out, and the cameras panned to her husband Bill, it wasn't hard to imagine his regrets overwhelming any happiness in the moment. Clinton gave a well-received speech that seemed genuinely conciliatory. "Barack Obama is my candidate and he must be our president," she said. But her most ardent supporters still have to decide whether to let go of their anger and go along with this. In the clip after the jump, CNN finds a choked up Clinton delegate who is still not convinced Obama has the experience to lead. She does have enough party loyalty, though, to say (twice!) that she's not voting for John McCain. Click the video icon to watch the emotional breakdown.

· Yup, that's it. And yet we can't help but get caught up in all the silliness, too. Wolf Blitzer? That sounds like a WWI machine gun! LOL! [Late Night] · "Canada Remains Happily Mediocre," says Canada's official online presence. [Canada.com] · No Nuns on the Catwalk: Eurotrash dance single, or Vatican fashion scandal? [Reuters] · You really haven't lived until you've heard Gwyneth Paltrow make an offhand joke about getting fat she knows will never, ever come to pass...in fluent Spanish! [BWE.tv] · "My dad’s not an idiot — he’s nothing short of a genius, in my opinion," says Jack Osbourne, who's making a movie to repair his father's depiction on The Osbournes as the lovably addled Prince of Darkness and Allowance-Distribution. [RollingStone.com] · Nic Cage, in hair and pictures. [Latino Review]

Though it pains us to say this, we think we may be over Lo Bosworth, the incipient villainess of The Hills' fourth season. When we first met Lo, she was amongst the most breezy members of Hills forerunner Laguna Beach, but there's no place for cute quips on The Hills when out-and-out bitchery will win the day. That, ultimately, is what makes Lo's transformation all the more frustrating — though she has settled into her role as Audrina's archrival for their friend Lauren's attention, her irritating machinations are actually making us root for the blank blogger (and that's saying a lot). With the help of Molly McAleer, we pored over last night's episode and put together a list of the top five reasons we simply can't support Lo anymore. Lo, you're on notice: we're officially frienemies now. [MTV]

There will come a day—maybe not in the near future, or even the distant future, but perhaps thousands and thousands of years from now—when the significance of the early 21st Century pop-cultural phenomenon known as The Hills will make itself fully known. At that time, trillions of shipbound lifeforms coasting through the universe will already have been hard at work, tending slavishly to their Heidi and Spencer Pratt Solemnity Shrines and anointing young LC-alikes in dabs of Suddenly, Audrina—the most seductively floral of all Official The Hills Scents—before sacrificing the virgins to the mighty reality Gods ensconced atop Mt. Bolthouse. Doing so will inch them ever closer to utter and complete, like, enlightenment. In the meantime, however, artifacts like the one above will remain nothing but mysteries, wrapped in enigmas, stuffed into leotards, and adorned with deeply symbolic terrycloth headbands. Tomorrow never dies. We wanna live forever. Let us hear your bodies talk.

Charlize Theron's arrival at the Denver airport last night—what TMZ says might be a trip for a local film festival, or to pop her head in at the convention, or hey, why not, a little of both—was greeting by a paparazzi swarm of one, and she was having none of it. (She may have already been in a foul mood due to the giant sign her driver was holding reading "CHARLIE THERONG - Denver Executive Limousines," though the foamcore board upon which it was written would later make a handy device with which to beat the nosey interloper over the head.) Surely, whatever good intentions the star had were quickly squandered once the footage made the internet rounds, and disenfranchised paparazzi voters chose to side with the far less celebrity-friendly candidate.

National polls have John McCain neck-and-neck with his presidential rival, or even ahead, but the presumptive Republican nominee insisted about 4,000 times to Jay Leno tonight that he's "the underdog." (Unlike Barack Obama, who's acting like he's already been elected Ayatollah!) Then Leno teased him about his 10 houses, and McCain responded that he was imprisoned for five years in Vietnam, so let's stop talking about his houses, because they didn't have any houses in a torture cell. What? The point seemed to be that McCain is not uppity, and instead of going to a fancy elite convention (this week) he's cracking wise with that other non-elite, hard-working underdog, Leno. This presumably is meant to play well with the bitters and "government pragmatists" in swing states. Here is some of the pitter patter (click the video icon).

There were a few points when it seemed Michelle Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention was going to come apart, its swelling high points and applause lines overwhelmed by a few too many awkward halts and reflexive uses of the term "you see." But by the time Obama wrapped up, her vulnerability and lack of polish looked like smartly-deployed correctives to the idea her husband is smooth, arrogant and lacks humanity. If you agreed with MSNBC's Keith Olbermann when he said "I'm beginning to sound borderline sycophantic on this" speech, you might have flipped over to Fox News Channel, only to listen to a choked-up Juan Williams saying similar things about how poignant the historic oratory was. Everyone seemed to be raving about Michelle, including the guy on Fox who warned, "She didn't give the Gettysburg address — let's not pretend." If Obama scored points by being a heartfelt novice, her kids closed the deal, even as they interrupted their father's prepared remarks and gently corrected him on what city he was in (Kansas City, not St. Louis). It might seem exploitive come morning, but for now enjoy the clip after the jump. UPDATE: Plus video of Michelle Obama's "I Love This Country" moment.

Michelle Obama is scheduled to speak at the Democratic Convention in about an hour. It's the first thing any reasonable number of people will care about at the big political show in Denver. When the speech ends, and talking head spin mode begins, everyone should remember the TV people are completely desperate to conjure news at the pointless, made-for-media convention. Here's some evidence, in the form of a CNN segment that seems to be hinting that Pepsi controls the Obama campaign and entire Democratic party, because of its logo.

· It sure is nice to see Vin, Paul, and Michelle back where they belong: Safely penned away in a trailer for some movie we'll never see that doesn't come out for a very long time. [/Film] · Optical illusion time: Do you see Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor nuzzling noses, or a beautiful vase? It all depends upon where you focus! [My New Plaid Pants] · We knew there was a reason we were compelled to play Connect 4 with our four best friends while eating a Kit Kat bar on a four-seat couch whenever we watch The Tonight Show! [iBored] · $800,000-per-ep man Charlie Sheen has a fourth [Ed. note: Gasp! The Tonight Show Curse again!] child on the way, which, amazingly, has already appeared in utero on an episode of Denise Richards: It's Complicated. [USA Today] ·Everything about Love 'n Licks makes us uncomfortable. [YouTube]

If MTV's new fascination with the "spoiled rich girl" reality genre annoys as many viewers as it attracts, tonight's premiere of Exiled attempts to satisfy both audiences. In the new series, several of the worst teenage offenders from My Super Sweet 16 are sent by their parents (one of whom, it appears, is Tracey Ullman doing her Arianna Huffington impression) to remote locations where they must learn to get along with third world villagers and perform back-breaking labor, much of it involving animal feces. While a lot of ink could be spilled dissecting MTV's habit of building pretty girls up and then tearing them down, we'll quote instead from one of the kindly villagers, who stares at an Exiled cast member and says, "Sometimes you say stupid things." Villager, that's how she got her own show. [MTV]