It's been a rough day! It's always a rough day. Relax with this sweet little short film (shown below) about a prankster.

· We continue with today's theme of leaked, bootlegged trailers of the summer's most anticipated blockbusters with the new Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, set to premiere before screenings of Iron Man this Friday. Dare we say, it's a vast improvement over the first. Indy's back, everyone! No, seriously. Indy's back—it just gave out on him. Medic! [indianajones.com]
· Is "closet chef" Jake Gyllenhaal planning on opening his own restaurant before he turns 30? Sign us up for one Dreamy-Eyed Tasting Menu with Naggy Girlfriend Wine Flight! [Big Hospitality]
· Good news: Roger Waters's pig has been found! Bad news: In pieces. Good news: Bacon for everyone! Bad news: It tastes like polyurethane. [MyDesert.com]
· Is Transformers 2 about to get a much-needed injection of menstrual-blood humor? One can only hope. [Cinematical]
· Hey—dogs into unicorns! [Archie McPhee]
· Oops...We almost forgot to salute our man Will Leitch over at Deadspin, who on HBO's Costas Now last night withstood a spittle-storm of invective from Buzz Bissinger, author of Friday Night Lights and owner of a rocking set of he-breasts. [Deadspin]

Extreme endurance artist David Blaine has certainly stunned the world before with his well-publicized stunts—from spending three weeks journeying through an (unfortunately impacted) Blue Whale's digestive system, to the time he was flash-frozen inside a block of carbonite atop the Arc de Triomphe. But it was the seemingly simplest of tasks that eluded him: breaking the world record for breath-holding, previously held by a centenarian fisherman from Tanzania rumored by villagers to have been sired by a frog. All that changed today on The Oprah Winfrey Show of all places, where the low-talking illusionist was deprived of oxygen for an amazing 17 minutes and 4 seconds. We've included video of the final two, during which an increasingly agitated Oprah grips the thigh of the monitoring physician beside her, asking reasonable enough questions along the lines of, "OK, his eyes just crossed, his skin turn blue, and he slowly floated to the surface. Is that considered a bad sign?"

In this excerpt from Eric Schmidt's interview with CNBC's Maria Bartiromo, the Google CEO explains that a Microsoft-Yahoo merger would "eliminate consumer choice, particularly in electronic mail, instant messaging — things where they would have 80 or 90 percent market share." As an alternative, Google has proposed the idea of serving its ads against Yahoo's search, giving it control over 80 percent of the search advertising market. But that would eliminate advertisers' choice, not consumers'. So it's cool.

Say you have a sincere interest in catching the latest The Dark Knight trailer—but not one so burning that it would require you to dash around Hollywood Blvd. counting the number of holes in aggro Chinese Theater Batman's costume, only to then learn via text message that the massive fire at Basque nightclub was in fact "The Joker's doing," before eventually corralling you and 500 other movie blog interns right back to where you started, so that you can file into a Mann's theater for the two-and-a-half-minute, viral experience of a lifetime.

The building houses Basque Nightclub and Restaurant, but it was not open at the time and no one is said to have been inside. Towering 40-foot flames shot through the roof of Basque Nightclub and smoke could be seen and smelled for miles.

American Idol judge Paula Abdul—on whom we rely to pull browbeaten contestants into her addled embrace, showering them with slurred words of encouragement—made a gaffe for the ages on last night's all-Neil Diamond-cover show. In her defense, producers made a radical change to the show's familiar format, holding all the judging until after the final five had performed two songs. This introduced a complicated new element to the karoake-appraising procedure: taking notes. But no sooner had Paula accepted her fate, and begun to get the hang of scribbling things like "David C.: Shining star, authentic, love the pants," on an index card, sniveling Idol homeroom Poindexter Ryan Seacrest changed the rules once again, demanding to know where Randy, Paula, and Simon stood on the performances at the half-way mark.

CNN heartthrob Anderson Cooper devoted a couple minutes of his program to AN ADORABLE BEAR last night! Seriously. "Frankly I can watch this bear for hours," said Cooper. How does Anderson know so much about bears? His exciting answer to that question may be found in the attached clip! (We suspect he may be exaggerating the breadth of his knowledge.)

Facebook holds an annual Games Day intramural event for its employees and, just like gangs in Oakland, the teams identify themselves by their colors. Yesterday, a tipster spotted Facebook's red team sitting around on the streets of Palo Alto, visible for all to see. Facebook's white team is much sneakier. For example, the entire team is at this very moment standing right behind you. Take a look. Gone already? Don't be embarrassed. These guys — Babak Hamadani, Blaise DiPersia, Dale Dwelle, Navid Mansourian, Pedram Keyani and Ryan McGeehan — move fast. Just ask the Facebook engineer at the end this clip, Chris Putnam.

Why do men in Silicon Valley join Apple engineer Gints Klimanis's fight club? In this clip, Limanis tells ESPN:

· We think we have a worthy successor to the Star Wars Holiday Special for the most blasphemous use of the property, like, ever. That said, that Darth Banker's a hard-ass, isn't he? $49,000? But there's five large amounts still left in play—including the million! [Deal or No Deal]
· "Organizers of a major California music festival are offering a $10,000 reward and four festival tickets for life in exchange for ex-Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters' two-story inflatable pig." [Reuters]
· David Blaine will try to break the 17-minute world record for breath holding on The Oprah Winfrey Show, which is fine and all, but it's no Criss Angel mindfreaking her brains out. [AP]
· Her new six-hour-a-day workout regimen sometimes requires that Britney Spears walk around the gym wearing nothing but a towel. [Daily Mail]
· Paramount takes a heavy swig of the Blu-Ray Kool-Aid (which, oddly enough, tastes like raspberry with a slightly bitter after-taste). [THR]

Yes, the leaked copy of Yahoo's All Hands, the Movie we received this afternoon features a scene where Trent Herren of international operations discovers client strategist Ian Kennish is a Valleywag leaker. But leave it to the folks in Sunnyvale to think we have some special, complicated web site for leaks — when really, all you have to do is send us an email. Full video, including infrastructure EVP Ash Patel cleaning the cube of incredibly messy co-founder David Filo, after the jump.

Unless you're a fan of both mixed martial arts and directors who employ frenetic quick cuts as a means to hide razor-thin plots, you've probably never heard of Sean Faris, the 28-year-old star of this spring's Never Back Down. Seems as if Sean is conscious of this fact and, like any other enterprising young actor trying to make a name in Hollywood, he's actively taking steps to change that. You know, get out on the town, do a little presenter work at the Young Hollywood Awards, network a little. However, all of his good intentions went astray at the end of the evening when he made the all too common mistake on hitting on one of the other presenters. Usually, this would be a "no harm / no foul" kind of situation; however, in this instance, the presenter he was hitting on was 12-year-old Abigail Breslin and the incident was captured by the all-seeing, all-knowing eye of Harvey Levin.

Why did the Church of Scientology buy a channel on YouTube? Well, remember how a video of Tom Cruise babbling about Scientology cropped up on YouTube? And how the Church got the video taken down so we put it on Gawker and then another copy stayed on YouTube? Well the Church tried to fight its critics with a regular user account, but that didn't work; the organization had no more visible cred than the anonymous people accusing it of suppressing free speech. So now the Church bought themselves this fancy channel stocked with 82 videos about their religion. Most are just bland, and some are delightfully creepy, even if they lack the star power of Tom Cruise. But I'm not allowed to show them here.

Hey, where's Kristin Cavallari? And Jason Wahler? And that one chick with the huge cans? Oh, hi there! In case you hadn't noticed, Molly is out sick today, which leaves your Uncle Grambo the pleasure of being your host for this week's installment of "The Hills: Words Of Wisdom." Truth be told, I have never seen an episode of the show, which leaves me relatively unprepared to contextualize the goings-on of this band of famepires. While I harbor no doubts that a fair number of Defamer readers actually enjoy The Hills (regardless of whether you like it as a show or as a cultural phenomenon), I'm guessing (hoping?) that most of you are not watching this to catch up on the plot summary. Rather, you're watching it for the same reason that I do, which is because it enables us to wallow around in the schadenfreude like a pig rolls around in mud on a hot summer's day. So, with that, please enjoy this week's episode (crafted lovingly, as always, by Molly McAleer). [MTV]

If a single, still image of Tom Cruise's reunion with Oprah Winfrey was enough to get our salivary glands going overtime, a video promo of Friday's history-making interview would almost certainly require us to surrender all control over bodily functions and social decorum. And so it went, our pulse quickening and pants filling with each progressively teased hardball: "Do you feel you've been misunderstood?" (Prediction: "No.") "How's Kate's family accepting you?" ("Great!") "True, not true?" ("True! No—wait! Not true!") "Do you regret saying that?" ("Regret is a suppressive emotion.) "This is to clear up everything." ("I'm already clear.") Just three more days!

Gwyneth Paltrow's bid to reestablish herself both as a commercially viable actress and a MILF-y sexpot reached new heights last night on The Late Show With David Letterman. After running into the Ed Sullivan theater looking like she just got done with a spinning class at the Equinox Gym, she entered David Letterman's notoriously chilly environs wearing a sleeveless top that was scantily cut down to there. After dispensing with the formalities (Dave complimented her towering heels, asked how the kids were, blah blah blah), Gwyneth launched into a story about how she had trouble performing a certain scene while filming Iron Man because she had recently injured her knee. While Dave feigned interest in the story of her damaged joint, Gwynnie recognized his lack of interest and decided to do something about it. Namely, she gave his knee (and a bit of his thigh) a nice little rubdown. While we can spout off a number of instances over the years where Dave has been kissed, hugged and even flashed by his guests, we believe this is the first time a guest has ever dared touch Dave's leg for this length of time. More pix of Gwyneth, including the lacy see-through getup she wore to an Iron Man screening last night, after the jump.

While we wait for Paul Thomas Anderson to reissue a There Will Be Blood DVD edition that his masterpiece and its fans deserve, we can take comfort in the imagination of said fans around the Internet. We've learned that today, for example, is the first-ever International Talk Like Daniel Plainview Day, honoring Anderson and Daniel Day-Lewis's eminently quotable anti-hero for the ages. "If you've ever heard about 'Talk Like A Pirate Day,' this is essentially in the same vein," write organizers Harrison Simon and Donald Polaski. "Also, do your best to drink a milkshake, preferably someone else's." Some sample quotes follow, but we will probably default to taking our dates to the Peach Tree Dance. I said, get liquored up and take 'em to the Peach Tree Dance! Bastard in a basket! I'm finished. [Facebook]

Remember that one funny show on Current? Super News, the animated series that brought you Perez Hilton's giant vagina, has an episode about Facebook, MySpace, and Second Life. A little dated but still funnier than that Internet Party skit. My favorite bit is site founder Tom's first principle of MySpace: "Skanky pictures of skanky people doing skanky things."