The year is 1993. The location? A yellow-walled apartment living room, octagonally shaped. The music video for the Counting Crows’ instant classic “Mr. Jones” is being filmed, and Adam Duritz is buoyant, energized, and dressed up in loosely-fitted clothing. “My performance in this video will be remembered and paid tribute to long into the future,” Duritz thinks. “I know this to be true.”
Meet Brian Presley, actor, and Melissa Stetten, model. Brian sat next to Melissa on a recent flight and thought he'd make a connection with his seat mate. Even though he's been married for ten years and has a kid. Melissa wasn't really feeling it. So she live-Tweeted the entire encounter. Enjoy the storify below. [via Ohno-Polio]
Here's a map of the world, as drawn by Facebook (click to enlarge it). What does that mean? Well, basically: The entire image is defined not by topographical features or political boundaries, but by Facebook friendships.
It's like "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon," except with the Internet and likable schlubs you've never heard of. Actually, it does look kind of good. Like cable-good. Like Supersize Me without wanting to punch the narrator in his smug stupid face. Come see the preview!
Via Craigslist's Missed Connections, our humble attempt to help one anonymous lonelyheart find her briefly encountered soulmate on this Valentine's Day: "Dark Hair, Striped Sweater, Clean Cut at The Griffin - w4m - 23
I saw you across the bar and couldn't believe my eyes. I was drinking a Guinness and you were talking to two friends. I stood near you, hoping you'd notice me. Did you? Me: dark hair, ponytail, gray jacket, glasses. You: Joseph Gordon-Levitt." [Craigslist]
As we all learned yesterday through two minutes and eleven seconds of the most affecting moving images ever transmitted over the YouTubes, even though it sometimes seems as if the entire world has turned on turned on VMA exploitation victim Britney Spears, there are still those willing to reach out to her as she tries to navigate this seemingly endless dark night of the erstwhile-pop-star soul. In the interest of connecting Spears with the generous, but anonymity-valuing, individuals offering to help her through these difficult times, we pass along this note from a Craiglister:
So distraught was one of our readers after watching the heartbreaking, lightly scripted Two Coreys moment where Corey Feldman devastates Corey Haim with news that a straight-to-video sequel to Lost Boys would be going forward without him (hell, even the Lesser Frog Brother probably got a call) that our compassionate operative immediately took to Craigslist to try and find the wounded Haim some companionship to get him through this difficult time. And Craigslist, that online lamp inhabited by millions of anonymous genies ready to fulfill even the most outlandish of wishes, predictably yielded help:
While we at Defamer realize that any of our female readers with acting aspirations hardly need our help in procuring the services of "producers" willing to exchange sexual favors for empty promises of career assistance, we nonetheless feel it's our duty to occasionally serve as middleman between parties seeking this classic, mutually beneficial show business arrangement. Lounging in a VIP booth in Craiglist's virtual Hollywood nightclub is this anonymous starmaker, who's looking to send a drink over to the table of any struggling actress willing to blow him in a bathroom stall if he passes her headshot on to his favorite agency:
"If you look like David Beckham, let's have a NSA affair! - w4m - 25
This sounds crazy, but I'm nuts for David Beckham. He's so so cute. And I've been daydreaming that his clone will arrive. Tonight is free. Can my David Beckham roleplay come true? Me: Cute, bubbly, trim, great natural boobies. I don't look like Posh Spice but I get no complaints. 5'7" Long brown hair, sexually adventurous. Fun, good in the sack. I work out. I also have a good day job that leaves me with plenty of energy for the night. Send pics, mine gets yours. And let's talk." [Craigslist]
Last Friday, CNBC ran a video clip about the Maltese Falcon, a $130 million clipper yacht owned by one of the most powerful men in Silicon Valley. But the business cable channel got his name wrong. Tom Perkins, cofounder of Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers and former HP board member, owns the Falcon, not, as CNBC.com had it, "Tony Perkins," the considerably less wealthy founder of Red Herring. I'm not surprised Tony hasn't rushed to get a correction. As any ex-Herring employee can tell you, he's never hastened to correct anyone who mistakenly believed he had a connection to Kleiner Perkins.
Defamer is committed to bringing together real directors of real movies with real celebrities hard up for fake dates on the biggest nights of their lives, and so in the interest of furthering our mission of faux-romantic mercy, we spotlight this anonymous plea for companionship from Craigslist, the internet's leading escort service for industry professionals desperately seeking non-embarrassing arm-candy. Posts our seeker:
We at Defamer realize that the moviegoing experience can sometimes be so exhilarating that the mere act of watching passively without injecting oneself into the proceedings can feel frustrating and unfulfilling. What sets apart this audience member's response to the exposed manflesh orgy that is 300 isn't so much the fact that the film conjured up detailed multi-partner sexual scenarios, but that he was willing to take the proactive step of posting a Craigslist ad that might actually help him actualize his Spartan bukkake fantasies:
We at Defamer realize that time is preciously short for the still-dateless to find suitable, barely legal companionship for their various Oscar-related social obligations, and so we're committed to doing our part to help the industry's twink-loving lonelyhearts connect with the boyish consorts of their dreams. With this sacred mission in mind, we reach out to assist this anonymous Craigslist seeker in his efforts to cast a date who can play the part of "I don't even know this child who just climbed into my limo when I wasn't looking, officer," but who is actually old enough not to earn the ad's author any jail time:
We realize that those of you lucky enough to have scored a pair of tickets to Hollywood's biggest night might be too preoccupied with last-minute preparations to focus on hunting down your evening's crowning accessory: a poised and stunning arm-candy specimen, well-versed in red carpet and after-party etiquette (e.g. standing three feet behind your date at all times; smiling always, but never too broadly; remaining completely mute unless otherwise instructed, etc.). With time quickly running out, and escort services charging higher premiums than ever, it's hardly surprising that the desperate romantically adventurous should turn to Craigslist for their Oscar-night-companionship needs:
Defamer is committed to bringing together its shoe-fetishizing readers with those who can provide them with the discarded footwear of the well-shod celebrities they so desperately covet, and so we pass along this anonymous Craigslist post seeking a recent Golden Globes also-ran's previously worn Cavallis:
Defamer is committed to bringing together readers who may have some unredeemed SAG vouchers laying around with individuals so desperate to obtain the golden ticket of union membership that they're willing to sacrifice their lucrative days jobs in the pursuit of their Hollywood dreams. Somewhere in the San Gabriel Valley, a struggling actor is offering to swap his power over criminally inflated sticker prices for some career assistance on Craigslist:
Defamer is committed to bringing together entertainment industry professionals looking for a little midday relief from both the pressures of their jobs and of maintaining deception-free heterosexual relationships with the discreet, same-sex activity partners located nearby their place of work. Over at Sony's Culver City lot, an employee is looking for someone to help him make better use of his smoke breaks:
