A couple in Staten Island was found dead in their bed at a Hilton Garden Inn on Staten Island on Friday, police say. The couple was found clutching each other and fully clothed in an apparent dual overdose.

With dull eyes and open mouths, they crowd the streets and fill the restaurants. Some are teenagers, some are straight, some are gay, and far too many are married adults who would usually be found at home watching the television at night. They are the zombies of St. Valentine's Day, and they're just as miserable as they look.

Another day, another huge survey of American couples reinforcing the fact that you are weird, unlovable, and never getting laid, just like everyone else. We want to flag one SHOCKING sex factoid (sextoid), amid all the other shocking sextoids in this humdrum survey.

The Governor of Colorado, John Hickenlooper, announced today he is separating from his wife of ten years, Helen Thorpe.

In a new post on Psychology Today's website, titled "Make-Up Sex Hurts: Why & How to Avoid It," Dr. Seth Meyers does his best to make a case against engaging make-up sex following an argument with a romantic partner.

The Washington Post has served up a juicy story about the secrecy surrounding the divorces of CIA agents and their non-spook spouses. Hoo-boy, is it worth a read.

But he's such a cute serial killer lookalike! And those pubes! (Aniston and Theroux are also kissing in public now, which must mean that this is going to last forever.) [NYDN]

The Pew Research Center released the results of a study today that found the number of mixed race marriages has doubled in the United States in the past 30 years. The Pew website features a great summary of the report if you don't want to slog through all eight pages of data. Here are some of the most interesting findings, if you don't even want to slog through the summary.

Isakin Jonsson and Michelle Gustafsson announced they will marry in a small ceremony in the high security wing of the Karsuddens psychiatric facility in Sweden. An as-yet-undetermined member of the Church of Satan is expected to officiate.

There is nothing worse than those letters you get in Christmas cards recapping what someone's family has been doing for the past year. Maybe everyone should start making videos of their year, like this beautiful, sweet, wonderful, and every other positive adjective gay couple.

Apparently David Cross and Amber Tamblyn are together? And have been, since 2009? And plan to stay that way, for the rest of their lives? Life & Style reports that the 47-year-old Arrested Development actor and 28-year-old Traveling Pants enthusiast have been engaged "for weeks." Congratulations to happy stealth couple! [L&S, images via Getty]

While the "We left our spouses for each other" New York Times "Vows" column was certainly a doozy, this new one, about the June 4th wedding of Andrea Catsimatidis and Christopher Cox, might be even worse.

Ah, spring! When a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of licking his dominatrix's boots in McCarren Park. A videographer at Brooklyn's hippest park caught the lovebirds—and the nonreaction of their neighbors—and uploaded it to (what else?) the "Animals & Pets" section of YouTube. Obviously, we've got copious video evidence that the New York City subway system is the most fun in the entire country. But did you know that city parks are similarly, uh, stimulating? [via Runnin' Scared/Village Voice]

Running for president is perhaps the most surefire way to destroy your family life and depress your close relatives forever. Just imagine if your spouse came in and said, "I've decided I want to run for president." Does anyone ever react positively to this announcement? "Oh great THANKS A LOT, FUCKO," seems like the appropriate response. Because within 24 hours, the national news will find and play that S&M porno you shot in college, on repeat. "Does America want a president," the news anchor will say, "whose spouse is a whore?"

Cleaner Sarah Kemp and builder George Bentley met over the internet and began a months-long email relationship before agreeing to meet up in person in London. Whereupon the couple discovered that they were long-lost siblings.

The British government is spending nearly $80 million to track 40,000 households over the next 20 years to "Understand Society," as the study is called. The first published findings give us a breakdown of how to be the perfect couple.

A Turkish man living in Germany fled to the local police station this week seeking protection from his wife, whose insatiable demands for sex have caused him to sleep on the couch for the past four years. Wacky, wacky stuff.

Actress Mila Kunis and The Pagemaster star Macaulay Culkin have "amicably" broken up after a seven-year relationship. Guess he'll be "home alone" a lot more often, am I right? "My Girl"—more like "bye, girl"! And so on.

A new study indicates that French people have pretty terrible sex lives, with more than three-quarters of respondents saying that sexual problems were causing relationship problems. But what about every stereotype of French people, ever?

This duo made Ryan Seacrest's Red Carpet interview actually enjoyable! Watch as Amy Poheler talks about the expensive jewelry she's wearing as Will Arnett offers to assist anyone that's thinking of mugging her for it. Charming video inside!