Sarah Palin delivered what was essentially the cherry-on-top to CPAC this evening, just after the American Conservative Union announced that Mitt Romney had won the conference's annual straw poll. Palin turned 48 today, and the birthday girl was, by far, the conference's darling. ACU chairman Al Cardenas called her speech the "perfect, perfect ending" after the crowds had parted, and she was given more than 10 standing ovations by a capacity crowd.

WASHINGTON, D.C.— There was a line winding out the door of the Marriott Ballroom at CPAC for the bulk of the afternoon today, and it consisted mostly of bright-faced college kids. They were wearing dinner jackets and pencil skirts and toting bags full of free pens and pamphlets and souvenir T-shirts. Sarah Palin will speak at 4:30 today, and they wanted to make sure to get a seat.

Another year, another wholesome Conservative Political Action Conference. In addition to hearing white rappers drop N-bombs and Ann Coulter talk about how "all real females are conservatives," CPAC attendees were treated to a lesson from pickup artist Juggler. You know, the one who isn't Mystery.

I hate parody rappers with a passion. I can't understand the lyrics here, but I can say that everything about this is awful and terrible, and that's before they use the N word. And not just with the street "a" ending. With the "er" ending. In front of a black person. Who they mock as he walks out.

WASHINGTON, D.C.— There must be some kind of perfect rallying cry for a giant ballroom full of conservative Americans, but it'll take a careful formula and a lot of practice to find it.

WASHINGTON, D.C.— Samuel Wurzelbacher, otherwise known as "Joe the Plumber," is still plumbing. He is running for Congress as a Republican in Ohio's Ninth District—Dennis Kucinich's turf—but he is also still plumbing. He just did a job for a friend two weeks ago. He says he will plumb for life.

Shirley Sherrod, who was fired from her USDA job last year after Andrew Breitbart posted online an edited video of her, has filed a lawsuit for libel and slander against Breitbart in D.C. Superior Court. The suit was filed on Friday, and Breitbart was served with it this weekend, while attending the Conservative Political Action Conference, according to The New York Times.

Republican tribal god Rep. Ron Paul hit the television circuit this morning to celebrate his big straw poll win at this weekend's insane Conservative Political Action Conference. How does Paul feel now, knowing that Republican voters want him to be president, at least according to this straw poll for which he bused in hundreds of supporters? He's flattered as always. Such a humble man, that Doctor Congressman Ron Paul.

Pamela Geller, the most vocal of the activists opposed to the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque" to be built two blocks from the former site of the World Trade Center, said Friday that the Conservative Political Action Conference she was speaking at had itself been "corrupted" and "compromised by Muslim Brotherhood activists."

Ron Paul won the presidential straw poll at this week's Conservative Political Action Conference in D.C., with 30 percent of the vote. He beat out Mitt Romney and Chris Christie, who came in 2nd and 3rd place, respectively. Many people were not happy. Salon reports,

Here's a picture of Tea Party queen Michele Bachmann and perennial "Rent Is 2 Damn High" candidate Jimmy McMillan at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington today. The photo appeared in a Bachmann staffer's Facebook feed today. Details of what the two discussed did not. Alas.

Sarah Palin is too busy cashing checks to attend this year's exciting Conservative Political Action Conference, the Republican Mecca (sorry for the word choice, Republicans) which began yesterday in Washington. What a snub to her fans! Fortunately a Sarah Palin impersonator showed up at the conference today, and that was good enough. Especially since many attendees thought she was the real thing.

The first day of this year's all-important Conservative Political Action Conference, a summit for top Republican politicians and operatives heading into a presidential election cycle, wasn't dominated by Newt Gingrich or Tim Pawlenty or any other actual Republican politician. It was Donald Trump, the wealthy television clown, who stole the show with the blunt, meandering speech he'd invited himself to deliver at the last minute.

Sarah Palin appeared last night on Sean Hannity's TV show, where she was asked about Rick Santorum's comments that she was not going to CPAC for the reasons of financial opportunities and the responsibilities of motherhood. And while she almost let the whole thing go, she didn't hold back from tweaking her potential rival for the Republican presidential nomination.

It's an exciting day for the conservative movement! Perhaps even the most exciting day of the year, right up there with Guy Fawkes Day. The 10,000-attendee Conservative Political Action Conference kicked off this morning in Washington, and it will run through Saturday. It's the Republican party's most important gathering every year, and it's especially vital in years, like this one, when there's a large crop of potential presidential candidates to size up.

The annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) starts tomorrow in Washington, D.C. You may think that hanging out with the likes of Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney, talking about why poor people are to blame for all of America's problems, sounds about as appealing as an icepick to the eye.

Conservative saboteur Andrew Breitbart, the man behind the ACORN "pimp" and not-racist NAACP videos, has a new project lined up: grinding balls with gay conservatives at a "big ol' gay party" in early February. Have you made your travel arrangements?

Dick Cheney's office has confirmed that it was a "mild heart attack" that sent the former vice president to George Washington University Hospital complaining of chest pains yesterday. So it's officially his fifth heart attack since turning 37. But he "is feeling good," expected to leave the hospital in the next couple of days and CNN's tele-doctor Sanjay Gupta is encouraged, remotely, by his progress.

During today's Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC)—currently underway in Washington, DC—a man named Ryan Sorba took the podium and condemned the organization for inviting GOProud, a gay rights group. The conservative crowd then booed him off the stage.

The "principled old conservative is disgusted with Republicans today" column practically writes itself. But this entry from former Congressman Mickey Edwards is frankly baffling. The problem Mickey has with modern conservatives is that they are... too European.