Choire from East/West on Billyburg: "These days Williamsburg is a playground for Craigs List-loving retards and they call part of Cobble Hill 'No-Go,' for North of the Gowanus canal. Honestly. Everyone has a baby there, and if they don't, they'll buy one real soon. Overall, I found the whole Brooklyn quality-of-life argument really quite specious. Isn't quality of life embodied by not having to take the subway?"
No sleep til Brooklyn [East/West]
"If you are/have:
a) a fantastically ironic/sardonic sense of humor
b) driven to the point of obsession (prefer beyond)
c) pale-skin, a slim build, a bit leggy
d) brilliant, but humble in an endearing, near self-effacing manner
e) social, but preferring to maintain superficial relationships (i.e., drinks at the local with the boys)
g) excellent taste in trainers/sneakers
h) completely and utterly afraid to be emotionally invested in the person with whom you have sex...
then you may be an excellent candidate to take advantage of me and exploit my emotional naiveté."
The Black Table's Lindsay Robertson reads Craig's Listso you don't have to. This week: "threesomes, the effect of bricks on penises" and "Jay Schultz." (There are 80 Jay Schultzes in New York, but the Craig's Listers are all sure they're talking about the same guy.)
The week in Craig [BlackTable.com]
Another day, another timely Craig's List personal: "I need a 20's - 30's sultry woman to come over and stay with me for a few days until I get over this. You must be smart and NEVER watch CNN. And if you have friends that believe the way I do (female) then bring them over and lets have a leotard pantyhose party. I need to return to my childhood fantasies. Just like our president."
Let's face it. It's time for war. I need a date quick. [Craig's List]
"I got two Oscars tickets (March 23rd). Looking for a NYC female to joing me on the trip to California for a great Oscars weekend. We would be flying out of NY on Friday and coming back on Monday. In LA we would be attending all major studio's parties...I would like the female to be attractive, good natured, with a good sense of humor. Open minded who likes to enjoy life to its fullest."
Got two Oscar Tickets (march 23) Looking for a NYC female to join [Craig's List]
Last month a Craig's List-er proposed a system of hand signals whereby people who read Craig's List could signal to each other. The system has since been further refined: "The main duty of the single man or woman (hereafter known as the PLAYER) is giving signs to the attractive potential mate (hereafter known as the HOTTIE)." Sample signals: You're Cute But Out Of My League = Right hand to hairline. Coffee Sometime? = Hand to ear. We feel that it's our duty as good citizens to warn you. We don't want you to be alarmed by the strange people on the subway making bizarre hand signals in your direction. [Note to any Conde Nasties who may need an explanation: "subway" = an underground system of mechanized trains that transport people in the tax brackets below you to work.]
F train hand signals defined [Craig's List]
It's snowing, so it's time for Gawker's regular trawl through the opportunistic personal ads on Craigslist. The pitches, most involving an offer to warm you up, are testament to the resourcefullness of New Yorkers. After the sight of cheap Chinese umbrellas miraculously appearing in the rain, there's nothing as uplifting as the sight of a full page of Craigslist ads all prompted by the blizzard. This guy sounds like a keeper: he's offering to bring round coffee.
Craiglist snow ads
"At the Gawker launch party last night, I thought you were a friend of Julian Casablancas but really you run some weblog or something. When the booze ran out I tried to find you to share these really neat pills I discovered while scrounging in Meg's purse but I think you were in the bathroom re-mussing your million dollar post-Jimmy Fallon hair. I was wearing legwarmers. I'm dying to continue our conversation on Zipf's Law. I know you wanted me, so bust a move and come and get it."
More than virtual? [Craig's List]
Williamsburg hipsters are conducting some twisted little Internet war on Craig's List with the anti-hipsters who loathe them. Someone referring to him or herself as the "Commander of the Williamsburg Army" is declaring war on the rest of New York, using their "creative fashion and wonderful subversive youth" as weaponry. Someone named the "Knight of Unironic Opposition" fires back: "You sure put a lot of effort into cultivating your rich man s poor look, what with the expensive, ironic t-shirts, silly 'Members Only' jackets (the irony only deepens with the brand name) and deliberately disheveled, product-filled hair." See also:
A message from the Commander of the Williamsburg Army [Craig's List via East/West]
The thing about hipsters... [Ibid.]
The Williamsburg Army [Ibid.]
A reader reports that the following is circulating on various NYC bulletin boards:
Since drawing all the hippies west, San Francisco's greatest contribution to New York culture, Craigslist, hits the New York Times. The online bulletin board, the closest thing San Francisco has to civic culture, is now growing in other cities. Of course, there are local differences: New York real estate brokers, obnoxious as ever, spam the supposedly non-commercial apartment listings.
A Web Site as 18-Ring Circus of Supply and Demand [New York Times]
