Here is security camera footage of Harlem resident Carlos Baez in an elevator, yanking the leash of his tiny dog, "Dutch," and angrily swinging the terrified little thing around by its throat.

Tabloid sexpot Andrea Peyser has never been accused of being honest, or a deep thinker. But her column today squeezes so much anti-gay, xenophobic rhetoric into so little logic that we feel we must comment upon her arguments.

The (ex-)Rand Paul county coordinator who stomped on a liberal activist's head before a Kentucky Senate debate Monday night would like an apology from her. She started it and was basically asking for it, you see.

NPR received a bomb threat in the mail today, prompting the news organization to take extra security precautions and "generally [be] more vigilant." Was it related to the termination of commentator Juan Williams? Or just a pledge drive gone wrong?

Now that we've identified the Tea Partier who wrestled a female protester to the ground at Kentucky's Senate debate, how about the guy who trod on her face? Meet Tim Profitt. He once had his picture taken with Rand Paul.

Last night, video emerged of a Rand Paul supporter wrestling a female protester to the ground and treading on her face. Today, gun advocate Mike Pezzano was outed as one of those men. Who revealed his identity? Other Tea Partiers.

Here is an odd, elderly-looking (2,000 year-old?) baby in church, dancing as if possessed by the Jesus Spirit. Give that baby a cigarette and tape it to a wall, it'll be the biggest thing on the internet!

Meet Katherine Chloé Cahoon, a young(ish?) Vanderbilt grad who has written a book called The Single Girl's Guide to Meeting European Men. The book has turned into videos. Truly incredible videos.

We never could fathom why famously liberal France would go and ban people from wearing burqas. Innate meanness? (Yes). And now French Muslims have something even more frightening to worry about: burqa rage!

"In the Incas, or the Mayans, they say gold was the sweat from the sun, or tears, you know." Yes. Mr. T is a spokesman for a mail-in gold-buying company. "The Ark of the Covenant," etc. Isn't that something?

Intrepid sex journalist Andrea Peyser has uncovered the latest plot by radical Islamic fascists to brainwash good Christian children into bomb vest-wearing terror robots: a Saturday morning cartoon. With Muslims in it! Isn't that illegal, here in the USA?

A "wild-eyed" movie theater usher named Evan Sachs stabbed an eight-year-old kid on Friday night at a Dave and Buster's in Long Island. According to police, Sachs was carrying a note spelling out his plans "to harm somebody."

A grad student at the University of Louisville College of Education was in a meeting with five faculty members yesterday when she pulled a loaded gun out of her purse and said, "I guess this is it."

Glenn Beck's going to be taking some time off next week to get some hospital tests done for "problems with feeling in his hands and feet." But he said the real problem could be "spiritual wounds." Wacky explanation video below!

The immutable laws of universal karma dictated that this would happen: former CNN shouting head Lou Dobbs, America's most prominent anti-immigrant xenophobe, had illegal immigrants working for him.

The Way We Live Now: debating. Gambling, you mean? That's a cheap shot. Your whole city is a cheap shot. At least we're not snooty elites. At least we're not degenerate craps hustlers. Is Vegas done? Yes. No. Wanna bet?

[I like to imagine this Arizona man got his vanity plate and then thought, "You know, I'm not sure I'm getting my message across. Maybe I need a bumper sticker or two." Image via Reddit.]

Meet Kimbra Hickey, the model whose hands grace the now-iconic cover of vampire romance Twilight. What's she up to these days? Oh, not much, just hanging out at the Barnes & Noble cash register, telling people who she is.

Meet Briana Greathouse of Kansas City, Missouri. Briana, who's 25, recently traveled to Ottumwa, Iowa, four hours away, to meet a man she knew through the internet. And kill him. For making mean internet postings. Her mom was arrested, too.

Carl Paladino, the thick-browed dangerous thug who is an alarmingly serious candidate for New York's governorship, now says he might file trespassing charges against the New York Post. The same paper whose editor he threatened, yesterday! Carl Paladino is insane.