Are you aware that we are currently living through "one of the most amazing and momentous weeks in the life of Arthur Kade in 'The Biz?'" Indeed. First, he got his own t-shirt made. Then he got a free ride!

Barack Obama will sign the health care bill this week. But then there's more voting to be done, on the reconciliation package! And this voting will be done in the Senate, which takes its goddamn time. Then: the lawsuits!

Andy Rooney believes that many people who unjustifiably held good jobs would be better off picking up trash. Now complete the circle, Andy Rooney.

In your finally Friday media column: wacko wants to buy newspaper from some other wackos who are too wack to sell, Christiane Amanpour has a new job, a WSJ wage freeze, and Jon Friedman is a literary Tiger.

Danish-Norwegian artist Nina Maria Kleivan dresses her baby up as the worst dictators of the 20th century because—after all—"Even my daughter could end up ruling Denmark with an iron fist." That baby probably has a better-than-average chance, yes.

Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli has only been in office since January, but he's already demonstrated that Virginians accidentally elected a crazy person. First, it was routine gay-hating. Now it's Birtherism and grand paranoia.

A study of the 57 largest metropolitan areas in the country shows NYC is only the seventh craziest. Cincinnati is nuttiest. What? Cincinnati? If we don't have loons on the street, what do we have?

A national panel of experts has recommended that the US should adopt uniform education standards for all public schools nationwide, rather than leaving it to the states to set the standards. Why, are the states doing something wrong?

The Huffington Post removed a 9/11 "Truther" post from former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura. According to their editor's note, "The Huffington Post's editorial policy, laid out in our blogger guidelines, prohibits the promotion and promulgation of conspiracy theories...." Oh, really?

Former Democratic congressman Eric Massa retired from the House because he has cancer and because he was maybe constantly groping male staffers. He will be on Glenn Beck for the full hour today. Michelle Malkin is not happy about that!

The Supreme Court has agreed to rule on whether the father of a dead Marine can sue Westboro "God Hates Fags" Baptist Church of Stone Cold Psychos for protesting his son's funeral. Alternately, he could just punch them. [NYT]

LaRouchite Kesha 'Ke$ha' Rogers wins Democratic primary in DeLay's district, will send troops to space.

Tabloid sex columnist Andrea Peyser has just about had it with people going out and purposely committing crimes in order to go to jail and be able to purchase affordable Pop-Tarts. Wise up, taxpayers.

Starbucks is ground zero for gun nuts now! Survivalists, modern-day militiamen, and muttering crazies all prefer Sbux-brand lattes! No longer will Starbucks be seen as a safe haven for liberal pussies! The shooting starts soon.

Naked Teabagging Senator Scott Brown supports Harry Reid's jobs bill, which is basically a tax credit and a couple bucks for infrastructure, somewhere. Now the crazies are mad at him, and they're taking it out on his Facebook wall.

The Texas Court of Appeals ruled that a condemned man's execution should go forward even though the judge in his case was sleeping with the prosecutor. And the judge in question has an unintentionally comical rebuke, for her detractors!

Birther Queen Orly Taitz has appealed to the UN to protect her from Barack Obama.

Bike riders, public health advocates, and just plain regular folks are generally happy with the idea of turning various NYC streets into "pedestrian plazas." Tabloid sex columnist Andrea Peyser hates these people, and this idea. People will smoke, outside!

Amy Bishop, the biology professor who shot six of her colleagues, killing three of them, is a paranoid, angry woman who hates kids and was obsessed with a researcher who ended up in a dead-end job. (She also played D&D.)

Blessed 68th birthday wishes to maniacal Elvis doppelganger and beloved North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il! While outside agitators allege that Kim's mental and physical health is flagging, we have official word that the truth could not be more opposite.