Is the cast of The Maze Runner cursed? Uh, yeah, I’d say so—just take a look at the evidence.

A data company went through 600,000 of those "may be monitored" consumer phone calls and figured out that of all the goddamn states in the union, Ohio swears the most. Washington staters cursed the least, and South Carolinians ranked most polite, based on their rate and usage of words like "please" and "thank you."

Sorry to have to ruin your Halloween plans, but starting in September, eBay will no longer allow the sale of hexes, spells, magic potions, curses, prayers, healing sessions, or any of the other awesome stuff the world's friendly witches and warlocks provide.

Demographic data indicates that black people are leaving New York for the South in droves, as the historic "Great Migration" of African-Americans from South to North slowly reverses itself. The city of Atlanta now stands as America's new Black Mecca.

Cursing, as everyone knows, is awesome. But it's more than that! It's also, according to a new study, a painkiller.

The Parents Television Council—the conservative busybodies who like to complain about all the good stuff on TV—has done a study of television curse words. Finally, we can know for sure which are the most popular swears!

Vice President Joe Biden's motorcade is famous for leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. Seems the Biden curse applies to Air Force Two as well: Biden's jet damaged a small plane on a Long Island tarmac today.

This morning in LA, actor Jason Alexander drove into a 14-year-old boy riding a bike on his way to school. Don't worry, everyone is fine. But, seriously, what did Jerry do to these people to mess them up so bad?

NY1 news anchors: Cursed? Portly (former) political anchor Dominic Carter ruined his own career by beating his wife and trying to squirm out of it by name-dropping. Now, another anchor's dad is critically injured in a crack pipe fire.

Billionaire investor Jeffry Picower—who made billions off of Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme—was found dead in his (expensive) pool Sunday. Murder??? Well, the coroner doesn't want you to think so. But clearly, Madoff's money has a deadly curse.

The saddest news for Michaela Watkins and Casey Wilson isn't that they are out of jobs on Saturday Night Live. It's that they're entering the tradition of the show's women who are never heard from again. Jan Hooks, anyone?

Theory: the closer internet persona(e) (non grata) Julia Allison gets to your internet startup, the more it's bound to falter. The breaking moment comes when her dog shits on your carpet.

Just months after making Matt Lauer cry inside about his divorce, Meredith Vieira proclaims a tourist couple's 30-year marriage over on the Today show. Click to watch the mean lady who causes all divorce.

No wonder he's losing! As was revealed in the Washington Post recently, John McCain's remote Arizona ranch features a lovely Verizon cell phone tower. Cindy, it turns out, asked for a tower back a couple years back. Verizon, remembering the Senator's wonderful work on behalf of the telecommunications industry during his time on the Commerce Committee, spent two years investigating the environmental and commercial impact of placing a permanent cell tower on the Senator's land, far, far, far away from anyone else who might benefit from it. Cindy says she asked for no special treatment, but the fact that Verizon's internal map of the area refers to it as "John McCain's ranch" suggests she may have been receiving it regardless. But this is the real story: while researching the environment impact of the tower, Verizon turned up evidence of an ancient Indian burial ground on McCain's property! Sort of! As Josh Green explains it:

As these are the biggest stories imaginable in our plagued and ruined times, we thought we'd wax high school poetic about celebrity jinxes and death curses, and then provide you with a list of some of the best ones right. here. After the jump you can read all about the Poltergeist skeleton hex, the famous Rule of Three, and the Exorcist ailments, among others. There are seven of them, because that is a lucky number. Stay away, ghost of Burgess Meredith!

Bernie Mac's tragic death sparked a surge of postmortems around the Web over the weekend, with many invoking his role as the bad-ass mall gumshoe opposite Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa. But one perceptive observer commenting at Hollywood Elsewhere noted that the late comedian's passing is the latest in a string of similarly untimely demises for other Thornton co-stars as well:

Remember Poltergeist, that 1982 horror film that was rumored to be plagued by a curse? What with the untimely deaths of two of its young stars, and reports of various odd occurrences on set. Can a movie be cursed? The Exorcist saw its fair share of mishaps, including injuries and the deaths of several crew members, as did Peter Berg's recent flop The Kingdom. And then there's Valkyrie. Well, it looks as though The Dark Knight, that Batman blockbuster mega-machine that's roiling in movie theatres currently, may be joining those ranks. Death and violence has surrounded three of its stars since the movie wrapped, Morgan Freeman's car accident last night being the most recent.

The legend of the "James Bond Curse" took another wholly contrived media twist Tuesday, when Daniel Craig reportedly severed the tip of one of his fingers while shooting the particularly unlucky Quantum of Solace at Pinewood Studios. The injury is Craig's second in a week (he'd previously required eight stitches to close a gash in his chin), but that's just the beginning, notes The Daily Mail:

Hanoi Jane! On NBC! Saying "cunt"! Is it Bill O'Reilly's birthday? That's how he must've felt when Jane Fonda chose to curse on a network he happily crusades against every goddamn day on his show (because, you see, MSNBC employs people, like Keith Olbermann, who make fun of him). Though he employed his typical tone of stern, paternalistic morality, you could tell there was loving care involved in assembling his montage of people—all of whom happened to be women, most whom happened to be liberal—accidentally cursing on television. "If someone does that on my program? Believe me, they'd get scolded." We're sure they would! And we admire Bill's restraint in restricting his obscenities to harassing telephone calls and legal documents. The clip is below.

Alec Baldwin's HuffPo blogs are best read to yourself with the voice of his '30 Rock' character Jack Donaghy. Heed this advice especially while reading the final paragraph of his post titled
"Three Random Things":"I miss my make-up artist, Stacey Panepinto. I miss my hairstylist, Richard Esposito. I miss all of the 30 ROCK cast and crew, who I don't see anymore because of this motherfucking, motherfucking, motherfucking strike."