Following our post about a Steven Slater impersonator crashing a Playgirl honcho's party, fake Steven Slater emailed us—and impugned everyone else's stories. "I never set out to impersonate him—I just happen to look the way I do!"

Page Six reports folk hero Steven Slater attended a Playgirl honcho's bacchanalia this weekend. One problem: The guy in their picture isn't Steven Slater, who spent his weekend listening to Barry Manilow in Atlantic City. How to tell them apart.

Today, New York Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams (of all people) had a very important question to ask about Levi Johnston: "What happened?" We haven't heard from him in months. Where did he go? Is this exile or punishment?

Playgirl's spokesman made a crack about Anderson Cooper's sexuality; Kirstie Alley went ballistic on Conan O'Brien and Kevin Rose dissed Mike Arrington. The Twitterati had their claws fully extended.

There is no wang. We repeat, there is no wang! Playgirl's seen the results of last week's photo shoot, and while there may be glimpses of Levi Johnston's baby maker, there is no full-frontal shot. Let the blame game begin!

Levi Johnston is coming. Not to dinner with Sarah Palin, but to the pages of Playgirl. The pictures have now been taken, and a detail-laden missive from the Dr. Frankenstein of Playgirl, Daniel Nardicio, has been whipped out for us.

At this very moment, Levi Johnston is undressing for a Playgirl photo shoot. But last night he was at The Box accepting an award from Fleshbot while a scrum of reporters poked and probed the Wasilla boy for a story.

Let the record show that last night the Manhattan media crowd descended on The Box to see a youth from Wasilla receive a silver dildo for showing his penis. Photographs by the wonderful Nikola Tamindzic and Hee Jin Kang.

It's been quite a day for Levi Johnston. First Page Six speculated about the size of his wang, and now he is furious with NBC over a skit Conan and William Shatner did based on his fake Twitter account.