Dave Chappelle wouldn't go to Sesame Street even if he knew how to get there. Watch as he describes what the most popular cartoon characters are really all about.

Everyone's favorite now-reclusive comedian, Dave Chappelle, did a recent stint at the Laugh Factory. Chappelle poked fun at himself, but focused mostly on mocking the book, "The Secret".

The legendary Dave Chappelle kills it in this video with his unstoppable "Grape Drink" bit from his second special "For What It's Worth" at the Fillmore in San Francisco.

Blog kingpin Nick Denton turns 43 today. Adam Gopnik, New Yorker staff writer and author, is turning 53. Comedian Dave Chappelle is turning 36. Sirius CEO Mel Karmazin is 66 today. Funnyman Craig Kilborn is turning 47. Herb Allison, the former president of Merrill Lynch and now an Assistant Secretary of the Treasury, is 66. Nobel Prize-winning economist Harry Markowitz turns 82. Vince McMahon, the man who brought you professional wrestling, is turning 64. Actress Marlee Matlin is 44. Former governor, presidential candidate, and Fox News talking head Mike Huckabee is 54. Former US Senator Max Cleland is turning 67. Author Paulo Coelho is 62. Steve Guttenberg is turning 51. And acting legend Chad Michael Murray celebrates his 28th birthday today.

Dave Chappelle's most recent AWOL streak ends Monday on Bravo, when he will appear on the 200th episode of Inside the Actors Studio. Except, in a clever twist we're presuming occurred only because Diana Ross was unavailable, Chappelle will interview Lipton for the whole show.Today we got a glimpse of the comic delivering the episode's customary windy introduction, which comes as close as we've been to a Chappelle performance in years — properly reverential of Lipton's mile-long resume (even the "literary perennial An Exaltation of Larks," a title no one can read with a straight face) while dropping random bursts of profanity and invective when necessary. The only thing that likely would have improved this would have been a Chappelle-esque three-hour wait for Lipton's arrival, followed by a chain-smoking binge of payback from their last tilt in 2005. Or maybe that comes later in the episode. Either way, congrats, Jim! [Bravo]

Dave Chappelle walking with his wife and kids in SoHo ... John Mayer leaving his apartment building with a duffel bag ... Michael Stipe leaving lunch at Souen on East 13th Street ... Mary-Kate Olsen walking with her finger wrapped in a bandage ... Sarah Silverman and Tina Fey outside the Letterman show ... Jessica Alba standing on the sidewalk with her bodyguard holding her waist... Lindsay Lohan going into Kirna Zabete in SoHo, and later leaving the Bowery Hotel ... and Dina and Ali Lohan leaving the launch of Lindsay's new clothing line at Henri Bendel.

Kurt Andersen, the co-founder of Spy and former editor of New York and Inside.com, turns 54 today. Also celebrating: CourtTV creator Steve Brill is 58, hedge funder Dave Ganek is 45, and 60 Minutes' Steve Kroft is 63. Tori Amos is 45 today. National Review editor-in-chief Rich Lowry is 40. And Scooter Libby is 58. On Saturday, Kobe Bryant and Strokes singer Julian Casablancas will both be 30. Village Voice fashion columnist Lynn Yaeger will turn 57. Rick Springfield will be 59. DJ Timmy Regisford will be 45. Novelist Nelson DeMille will turn 65. On Sunday, Gawker chief Nick Denton will be celebrating his 42nd birthday. The New Yorker's Adam Gopnik will turn 52. Mel Karmazin will celebrate his 65th. Craig Kilborn will be 46. Dave Chappelle will be 35. Vince McMahon will be 63. Most importantly, Steve Guttenberg will be 50.

Bad news for Real World cast member-turned Congressional candidate (D-Pop Culture) Kevin Powell: Dave Chappelle totally spaced out on Powell's fundraiser in Brooklyn last night, costing him the crucial Chappelle-fan vote! The comedian was supposed to headline the fundraising show, but never appeared, possibly because he is crazy. Then Chris Rock refused to go on too, in solidarity! And it only got worse for Powell: a drunk journalist, for chrissake, tried to grab the mic and steal the show [UPDATE: And there's a video!]:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by the loyal readers of Defamer. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Eli Roth sucking face with a teenager when he should've been watching Schindler's List The Happening.

Dave Chappelle has broken his own marathon stand-up record, beating his nearly 6-hour-long set last April with one Sunday night at the Laugh Factory that lasted 6 hours and 12 minutes. "Dave was determined to keep his record because he recently heard that Dane Cook was planning on trying to break (his) record," said club owner Jamie Masada, awed by Chappelle's selflessless in potentially saving an audience from 6 mind-numbing hours of Dane Cook. [AP]

If we're going to point out Dave Chappelle's every suspicion-raising trip to the emergency room, it seems only fair that we should turn our readers' attention to follow-up stories in which the comedian suddenly resurfaces on the other side of the country, showing no signs of the exhaustion that required a brief, publicity-attracting hospital stay. Accordingly, we note this serendipitous encounter outside of the White House between CNN correspondent Ed Henry and the Chappelle from earlier this morning, in which the reporter stumbled upon the peripatetic comic during his morning constitutional from Georgetown to Captiol Hill. Blogs Henry:

The shocking news that Dave Chappelle briefly checked into a local emergency room this weekend for "exhaustion," the go-to publicist excuse for suspiciously hospitalized celebrities far, far below the comedian's talent-grade, will in all likelihood invite knee-jerk speculation that another head-clearing trip to Africa is in the offing. But take heart, fans: long unburdened of the dehydration-inducing demands of huge amounts of basic-cable money, Chappelle merely succumbed to the punishing physical effects of his legendary, marathon stand-up sessions, a problem that shouldn't recur once he tightens up his set to to a more manageable three-and-a-half hours.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted a grocery-shopping Larry Birkhead getting a head start on Dannielynn's food-dependency issues.

Comedy Central disappointment Dave Chappelle continues to confound his fans with a nearly impossible to anticipate performance schedule: The disappearing comic will be a no-show at scheduled engagements, but then he's been known to pop up without warning from time to time at a local comedy club, as he did Sunday night at the Laugh Factory. What set this appearance apart from the others, however, was its record-breaking, six-hour marathon length:

Dave Chappelle, America's most beloved no-show comedian, is set to once again thrill audiences with one of his trademark mysterious absences at the HBO-co-sponsored Comedy Festival this Thursday in Las Vegas:

Dave Chappelle has had plenty of opportunities to try to explain why someone might abandon a hit TV show in the middle of production and escape to South Africa, a move that resulted in the likely forfeiture of a $50 million contract and invited the world to openly question his sanity. Pity Comedy Central head Doug Herzog, who's had no invitations to tell his side of the story to Oprah, James Lipton, or Anderson Cooper. Knowing that his relationship with Chappelle was effectively destroyed by Comedy Central's airing of the "Lost Episodes" of Chappelle's Show, an exasperated Herzog, tired of months of questions about what he did to induce a schizophrenic fugue state in his network's most recognizable talent, finally got to return some fire at the TCAs yesterday. TV Week's blog reports:

Those of you who tuned in to Comedy Central on Sunday night to get a look at the first installment of the three-part Chappelle's Show "Lost Episodes" and squealed with delight as Dave Chappelle drop-kicked a white baby (as we did, because we hate tiny honkies!) may be excited to discover that someone has leaked the second and third shows onto the internets. Blogger Jackson West (a sometime contributor to sister site Fleshbot) has links to the torrents if you can't wait two weeks to see the last of Chappelle's abandoned children, as well as an intimation by a source at Comedy Central that the network leaked the source disk for reasons (DVD promotion? A loathing of broadcast advertising income? ) that are inscrutable to us. "Enjoy yourself, bitches" indeed.

Disappearing comedian Dave Chappelle has turned explaining his decision to leave his Comedy Central series into something of a second career, first on Inside the Actor's Studio, then Oprah, and now in a 10-page spread in an upcoming issue of Esquire:

We're struggling to think of the last time a single performer had an entire network by the balls the way Dave Chappelle is currently gripping Comedy Central's tenders. Jerry Seinfeld's mastery of NBC's domain in the 1990s? And yet Seinfeld managed to show up for work and provide them with a weekly ratings powerhouse. Chappelle, on the other hand, abandons his ridiculously well-compensated, creatively autonomous showcase; then, when the network has the gall to air what material he did manage to deliver, the comedian interprets it as a "bully move" and threatens never to return. And how does the network respond to this chutzpah-heavy game of chicken? With the "official written statement" equivalent of "Parking space still got your name on it, Big Dave Man!"

· Chappelle on Oprah in a nutshell: I'm not wearing a dress for anybody. (For anyone who saw it, this synopsis works on various levels. If you missed it, you're probably terribly confused. Also, he might finish his show if they'll give half the DVD money to charity.)

· Why is this Paris Hilton storage locker nonsense such a big deal? She can always go buy 18 more diaries at any number of quality booksellers.

· There is no news days slow enough for this to make the cut, even if your angle is "incredibly hot chick moves on to second schlumpy comedian conquest": Comic Jay Mohr, Actress Nikki Cox Engaged.

· Is there any amount of slander or emotional distress that Rue McClanahan could inflict on someone that would be worth $60 million? It's not like we're dealing with razor-tongued fellow Golden Girl Bea Arthur here. [fourth item]