Surprise: Wildly unprofitable money pit Groupon canceled its investor roadshow and withdrew its IPO schedule, says the Wall Street Journal. Also, there's a new SEC inquiry into the company. But everything will be back on track just as soon as the tech bubble returns, honest!

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords returned to the House of Representatives on Monday, receiving a standing ovation and enthusiastically greeting her colleagues after casting her vote (her first since being shot in January) for the debt ceiling bill, which passed 269-161.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid tentatively signed on to a debt-ceiling deal, likely drawing to a close an unnecessary and wholly embarrassing episode in American history. Here's an outline of the not-quite-finished deal, if you want to ruin your Sunday.

Three guys who refuse to answer for sleazy spam tactics on behalf of their startup might expect to be shunned. Circumstances being what they are, the same three guys are bathing in money and adulation.

An ongoing fundraising round values Twitter at nearly twice what it was worth in December, despite the company having failed to create a discernible business model in the interim, and despite admitting it needs new leadership. Welcome to the new tech economics.

Rumors of MySpace selling for scrap were correct: The dying social network has been sold to the advertising network Specific Media for $35 million, according to All Things Digital. Remember, News Corp. paid $580 for the site in 2005.

Zynga, the maker of FarmVille and other Facebook games, is expected to file for its initial public offering tomorrow or shortly thereafter, seeking a valuation of $15 billion to $20 billion. It's one of the tech bubble's most rational IPOs.

Well, this is embarrassing: News Corp. will probably sell MySpace for less than a tenth of what it paid for the social network, and for less than a third of its stated minimum bid. And, yes, big layoffs are coming.

Weep not for Charlie Sheen, who lost one of his goddesses recently: The actor has reportedly signed a deal with Lionsgate Television to develop and star in a new sitcom. According to "an insider" who spoke with RadarOnline:

Foursquare, the pointless check-in service with barely any revenue, is now worth more than six times what it was a year ago. Or so say the venture capitalists who just gave the hugely unprofitable company an infusion of cash.

If somebody ran up to you on the street with a dog and said, "I'll give you this lovable animal right now if you can tell me which town is cheaper, New York City or Harlingen," which town would you pick?

Web domain name giant GoDaddy is reportedly in talks to be bought out for more than $2 billion. Who knows what kind of exploits GoDaddy's ridiculous elephant-killing CEO, Bob Parsons, will get up to with that kind of dough. He'll probably fly to a remote island and hunt the world's most dangerous game: tech bloggers. Honestly, we're terrified.

Hulu has put itself up for sale, moving to end the grand alliance between the broadcasters who own the TV website and provide it with shows. This is really going to suck.

There are really no excuses for not cashing out on the tech bubble. A guy with grilled cheese sandwich did it. An app nobody uses did it. And now a 15-year-old hacker wunderkind has followed suit.

A guy with a sign is begging Wall Street passersby to fund his iPhone app. He just needs $250,000. And with venture capitalists putting $10 million into a grilled cheese sandwich, is that really asking too much?

Arianna Huffington was controversial back when she only oversaw 70 or so employees. Now that she's riding herd over 1,300 AOL journalists, the Huffington Post founder faces an army of disgruntled enemies. And they're leaking to the press.

Good news: Miraculous internet jukebox Spotify will reportedly power Facebook's music service, bringing the world closer to a future in which music is much more freely shared, suggested and collaboratively compiled. As it should be.

Twitter is close to buying leading app maker TweetDeck for close to $50 million, says the Wall Street Journal. This way Twitter can get even more eyeballs on which to not make money.

The protracted and contentious negotiations between AMC and Lionsgate (the network and studio that produce Mad Men) and Matthew Weiner (the Great Architect of its Womanizing Universe) have finally been resolved, bringing to an end a nail-biting waiting period to rival even that of Joan Holloway's own in a sterile OB/GYN reception room. And the news is good!

Among businesses, the initial reaction to the concept of Groupon was: "Give our shit away for half price? Well, it's good advertising." But now, that reaction is changing to: "Give our shit away for half price? Ehhh."