Five days after being hospitalized for an accidental overdose from prescription pills, Comedy Central fixture, stand-up comedian, and Last Comic Standing judge Greg Giraldo has died. He was 44. [Image via Getty]

Joe Cerniglia, the chef and former Kitchen Nightmares contestant who committed suicide last week, was reportedly having an affair with his pastry chef. Suicide's tendency to make all your private peccadilloes public is just one of its drawbacks.

Joe Cerniglia, the chef at New Jersey restaurant Campania, jumped to his death off the George Washington Bridge last Friday. His death's in the papers because he once appeared on Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. Cause and effect overreach alert?

At a street fair in DC last week, a police officer shot and killed some guy's dog. Some called it "cowboy gunslinging"; others said it was necessary. What we know for sure: it's time to argue about dogs in public.

If you're ever feeling depressed about the decline of newspapers in America, just be thankful you're not in Mexico—where a newspaper's been reduced to politely asking drug cartels for editorial guidance, in exchange for not being murdered.

Iran's really had a hard time deciding whether it will stone Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani to death for adultery. Well, they've formally suspended the stoning! She still faces 99 lashes. She "might still be executed by hanging." But no stones! [NYT]

Young guys in NYC are always getting shot. Mostly by other young guys! And while you wild 18-34-year-olds just jump in front of bullets like it's a big party, guess who loses? Your municipal life expectancy, that's who.

George Smithey, a 70-year-old mentally retarded San Quentin Death Row inmate, hung himself in his cell Saturday, five days after his death sentence was commuted. A prison spokesman didn't know "whether Smithey had learned his death sentence had been overturned."

Yesterday we told you about Briana Ojeda, the Brooklyn 11 year-old who died of an asthma attack after an officer stopped and delayed her parents as they rushed to the hospital. The big question now: who was that officer?

On Sunday, Phillip Tisson scored the winning goal for St. Lucia's soccer team in its game against St. Kitts-Nevis in the Digicell Caribbean Cup tournament being held in Brooklyn. Hours later, he was shot dead.

Last Friday, 11 year-old Briana Ojeda had a serious asthma attack. Her parents put her in the car and took off for the hospital, careening the wrong way down a one-way street. An officer stopped her. Briana didn't make it.

Nicole John, the 17 year-old daughter of the US ambassador to Thailand, fell 22 stories to her death at a Manhattan house party last week. Her death's been ruled an accident. But the hand-wringing over her lifestyle's only begun.

Did you know airplanes have automated messages that notify passengers when they are falling into the sea? A British Airways flight recently told passengers, "We're about to crash," prompting widespread panic. Then the flight attendants were like, "Psyche!"

The body of Gareth Williams, a British spy connected to MI6, was found stabbed to death and stuffed inside a bag in the bathtub of his apartment close to MI6 headquarters. So...let's not jump to any conclusions.

In an incident with shades of the 2008 Mumbai attacks, at least 33 people—including six politicians and an 11 year-old boy—have been killed in a Mogadishu, Somalia hotel, in an attack by anti-government insurgents. [NYT. Pic: AP]

Wednesday: man plummets onto Phish stage. Thursday: man jumps to death at Swell Season show.

Yoseph Robinson, a Jamaican-born former hip hop label exec who converted to Orthodox Judaism and was working on an autobiography, was killed in a Brooklyn liquor store robbery last night. He lived an interesting life. [NYDN]

A 23-year-old in India is believed to have been killed by an exploding phone after being found "near his farm along with remains of mobile phone and battery." Sounds like he was using... a bomb pilot. [Puts on sunglasses] YEEAAAOWWW!

Plastic surgeon to the stars, Dr. Frank Ryan, accidentally drove his car off the Pacific Coast Highway yesterday and died. He performed 10 surgeries in one day on Heidi Montag, who is still surviving the car wreck of her life.

Just when you thought that absurd, monstrous Biblical punishments had been consigned to the dustbin of history, the Taliban is bringing back stoning. Way to be awful monsters, guys. What crime merited this horrific execution method?