The government of New York spends the majority of its time deciding which of our cute animal brethren it wants to massacre next. First, the geese got a death warrant. And now they're coming for your friend, Mr. Lemur!

[Workers repair one of Big Ben's four faces. Watch out, worker! Image via Getty.]

Today in Reasons You're a Terrible Parent: that bouncy castle that you rented for your child's birthday party has probably already caused them irreparable lead poisoning. Sorry.

The deadly Mexican Pig Influenza Pandemic— remember that?—yes, that. Well, it's over. FYI. It's "run its course," according to the World Health Organization. Did you survive? Cool. Ditto. I think we called this one accurately way back when. [LAT]

Luis Soto was shot to death after fighting with another man in Harlem early Sunday morning. Now, police say Soto was killed not by his attacker, but by a police bullet. Remember Sean Bell? Everyone will, like it or not.

The Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg visited cancer-stricken writer Christopher Hitchens at his Washington D.C. apartment for a very sunny interview session. When Goldberg first asks how he's doing, Hitchens doesn't hesitate: "How am I? I'm dying."

People got shot all over America this weekend! Which is bad, but not as crazy as the massive brawl in the DC subway system. Which was bad, but not as crazy as the lady run over by 11 trains.

Nine people (and counting) have been killed in a workplace shooting in Manchester, Connecticut.

Healthy bullets! Healthy gay blood! Healthy weed! Healthy ticks! Healthy yoga! Healthy ketamine! Healthy magazines! And completely unhealthy sperm of the deceased! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—but not that closely, that's gross!

No matter how many times you Tweet it, Bill Cosby is not dead. He is a little upset, though.

If you're like me, you may have just *assumed* that if a chemical is being manufactured in large quantities and placed in your breakfast cereal, there would be *some* evidence that it will not kill you. Not true at all!

Underground 'Doomsday' bunkers: not just for paranoid maniacs any more! (Yes they are).

A Palermo wedding photographer was shot and killed this past weekend after having the bridal party pose for pictures holding guns. Guns that were loaded, apparently. The worst part? The guy was just filling in for a sick friend.

Botanical diversity! Fights for love! Killer asteroids! Toe chop hazards! Environmental justice! Huge rats! Sniffing communication! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch your science—fairly or not!

Last week, a family of five in Staten Island died in a house fire. After initially blaming 14 year-old C.J. for killing his family, police backtracked yesterday, saying the mother did it. To whom does the media owe an apology?

Last week, a house on Staten Island burned to the ground, killing the entire Jones family—four children and a mother. Most had their throats cut. Police blamed C.J., the allegedly murderous 14 year-old son. Now, they've cleared him. Whoops?

Obesity life stage suggestions! Safe vaginal birth! West Nile everywhere! Hep C hope! Strong like a garbage man! Dangerous like makeup! Deadly like fungus! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while keeling over!

Murders are supposed to take place on dark inner city streets, or out in the woods. They are not supposed to take place in Beverly Hills, or—heaven forbid—in a holy place. Yet this week, they are.

Defarra Gaymon was a 48 year-old married father of four and CEO of the Credit Union of Atlanta. Last Friday night, he was shot and killed by a Newark police officer shortly after leaving his 30th high school reunion. Why?

Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has reportedly had a "major heart attack" in Florida. A "high-placed source" with the Yankees tells the New York Daily News that Steinbrenner has died. UPDATE: The AP also says he's died.