After decades of sprinkling his virile mogul seed on lots all over town, cultivating muscular sprouts along the lines of Jeffrey Katzenberg, Dawn Steel and others, inveterate media pollenator Barry Diller offered these wrenching words about Hollywood at this week's D6 Technology conference in Carlsbad: "It's a community that's so inbred it's a wonder the children have any teeth." Ouch. He must have forgotten about decidedly toothless Sahara director Breck Eisner, whose father Michael got his start under Diller during his years at ABC. That said, we weep for the third generation, whose inability to type or mouse-click with their beflippered limbs will sink Diller's digital empire once and for all. [Fortune, Photo Credit: Getty Images]

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

Mere days after scientists assured her that "karma tectonics" was most certainly not responsible for the devastating May 12 earthquake that killed nearly 70,000 people in China, Sharon Stone revised her earlier geological lecture to include a direct apology to the Chinese people for suggesting as much in the first place. "Due to my inappropriate words and acts during the interview, I feel deeply sorry and sad about hurting Chinese people," Stone said in a statement released through Christian Dior, which is dropping the actress from its ads in China. "I am willing to take part in the relief work of China's earthquake, and wholly devote myself to helping affected Chinese people."

Our favorite moment from the first episode of Living Lohan was when a giggly Ali Lohan said "I wanna be like Lindsay" in a very rehearsed, gun-to-her-head sort of way. Whichever puppet master that yanked her strings successfully managed to pull the transformation off, but not in the way we'd hoped. Rather than passing out in SUVs and borrowing some of Lindsay's many cokepants for a quick crash and burn, little Ali appears to be moving in on Lindsay's girl. As the Lohan/Ronson romance spread their tattooed and hickey-scarred wings to New York yesterday, the gruesome twosome turned into an even more gruesome threesome, as Ali joined the honeymooners on shopping trips and lunch dates. But Ali may not gain entrance into the private club of two — you see, the psychic geniuses at the NY Post have already gone ahead and prepared for Lindsay's official coming out. Their case for Lohan As Lesbian, plus sources' details on the fact that "they're definitely dating," after the jump.

· Excuse-making for the lackluster Prince Caspian rides all the way up the corporate flagpole, with Disney president Bob Iger blaming the month of May. Sure, Bob—blame lunar cycles! Those made your movie suck. [THR]
· Live Nation has signed a deal with Facebook that will allow users to purchase concert tickets directly through their social networking site, with bonus features that allow you to status update ("...is loving the Stones despite Keith's left arm just falling off,") right from the event. [Variety]
· The search for America's Next Street-Smart Business Mogul is on, and 50 Cent will be your Tyra. Ooh, look everyone! Fitty Mail! [Variety]

When leading fried-treat purveyors Dunkin' Donuts hired Rachael Ray to represent their brand, they had no way of knowing the white-trash-cooking guru would use that platform to further her own take on the United States of America as a Satan-loving nation that wallows like a pregnant desert jackal in a cesspit of its own making. Unfortunately, that was exactly the message delivered by her Middle Eastern-influenced accessorizing choices, and the internet ad featuring Ray wrapped in a keffiyeh and sucking thirstily on a cruller-flavored latté has since been pulled from their site. Yes, Ray's extremist leanings are shocking, but should come as no surprise to regular The Rachel Ray Show watchers who found it nearly impossible to come up with the "blood of a thousand Zionist filth-dogs" component of her Extra Chee-Z Shells n' Cheese recipe, no matter how many specialty markets they searched in.

Congratulations to William Morris, which upped Hollywood's client-packaging stakes to dizzying levels Wednesday with the announcement of a film based on Hasbro's board game Ouija. But the manufacturer hardly matters as much as its WMA partners in the deal, including Elf screenwriter David Berenbaum and Mich... Mi... Christ, we can't even write it. Here, just take it from Borys Kit:

While it was announced yesterday that AFTRA has reached a deal with the major studios, some SAG accredited actors like Prison Break star Wentworth Miller are preparing for another potential strike by going back to their roots. Specifically, Miller has returned to waiting tables at the Glendale area restaurant he worked at before getting his break. Miller said, "The manager was real cool about it and understands how the strikes affects all aspects of the economy. I'm also looking forward to go back to my roots as an actor." While he may be getting back to his roots, this time Miller plans on eating more than he did when he was a struggling actor. Miller said, "There will be not a strict Top Ramen diet this time around. Maybe some In-N-Out burgers, but definitely no Top Ramen."

We have good news. Strike that—we have unbelievably good news. What's the difference? Unbelievably good news is good news you once thought impossible—like a live-feed from Mars, or Robert Downey Jr. dominating the summer box office. Or Clay Aiken becoming a dad. TMZ reports:

MTV announced Wednesday that this weekend's Movie Awards show would recognize Adam Sandler as its Generation Award winner, apparently the highest accolade an actor can receive at the annual festivities. Don't call it synergy, though; such shameless dovetailing is the last thing on the network's mind, with Sandler's market-cornering man-child apparently towering over the imminent opening of You Don't Mess With the Zohan five days later:

There really is no pleasant way to spin a story in which one the great American comedy icons is accused in a court filing of chronic infidelity and physical abuse (save your comments—Charlie Sheen is far from an American comedy icon), so we'll leave it to The Smoking Gun to fill you in on the ugly details of the Bill and Jennifer Murray divorce:

As if Page Six's blind items weren't problematic enough, NY Post film critic Lou Lumenick last week offered a fun one from Cannes that found our refined hunch-dar betraying us. "Members of the press were lining up at the entrance to the announced venue well more than a hour before [Two Lovers] began," he wrote. " 'I'm not going to wait an hour for f—-ing James Gray,' one major U.S. film critic declared, before storming off, of the film's American director, who is much more popular among critics in Europe than he is in his native country." There's a pretty short list of "major U.S. film critics" these days anyway, but the anecdote provoked visions of the NY Times' Manohla Dargis protesting to the Cannes overlords. However, as Dargis assured us this morning, "storming" is not her style; she indeed waited an hour just like everyone else for fucking James Gray. So it's back to the blind-item drawing board for us, alas. Was Rex Reed at Cannes? [Defamer]

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

Call us incurable romantics, but something about the pairing of Hollywood elder statesman George Clooney and Sarah Larson—the Phish-loving, sandworm-emulating Ginger to his Fred—seemed to us more than your standard, fly-by-night arm-candy operation. This was a girl who inspired in George acts of chivalry previously thought not possible—on one occasion requiring him to come nearly to fisticuffs with a physically imposing margarine-spokesman just to protect her privacy. Yes, we naively predicted these two crazy kids would find a way to muddle through, in road rash and in health. We were wrong:

A hungry photographer gazed longingly at Tori Spelling's hot dogs at an appearance at the Hollywood landmark, Pink's. The appearance was to promote the second season of Spelling's reality series, yet the photographer's attention was primarily focused on the two uneaten hot dogs mocking him from Spelling's tray. Naturally, it was assumed that the photographer was staring at Spelling's cleavage, but the photographer defended his care bear stare by stating he got up too late for breakfast and those dogs were beginning to look like a steak from Ruth's Chris. Spelling explained that she wouldn't be able to share any of her dogs since she was eating for two and that, if he truly was that hungry, he should just wait in line like everybody else.

It looks like there's nothing anybody can do to stop a fourth installment of the Beverly Hills Cop franchise, which Paramount is reportedly pushing to a 2010 release date and which should finally fulfill that looooong-standing global demand for an Eddie Murphy/Brett Ratner collaboration. But as hammy, craven and sadistic as the project seems at a glance, and although it's likely bound for a dispiriting PG-13 script, we find our tortured souls compelled to give this one a chance; follow the jump for a half-dozen reasons why we could think of worse news to wake up to on a Thursday. Feel free to add your own; we need all the reassurance we can get.

Sharon Stone has finally apologized for her "inappropriate" comment that the recent massive Chinese earthquake was a product of "bad karma" for the country for its treatment on Tibet. She's sorry, okay! Nevertheless, fashion house Christian Dior announced that it's pulling all of its ads featuring the actress from all department stores, and the entire country of China. Though the comment itself was stupid, Stone's hasty retreat from her brash Tibet-championing—and Dior's even harsher public rebuke of her—are a great illustration of what is becoming the New China Rule: "Do Not Talk About The New China Rule." It's been de rigeur for top stars to prove their class by endorsing luxury brands, and to prove their morality by pontificating about Tibet. But guess what: pretty soon you're going to have to pick one or the other, Hollywood. And it's not looking good for the Dalai Lama.

· There is no denying that chimpanzees have a proud tradition of cinematic excellence. From BJ And The Bear to Project X, the little rapscallions have earned their place as our favorite animal actors (especially since the bear species has proven themselves to be less than reliable). But as rad as it was when those chimps drove airplanes with Matty Broderick, it doesn't hold a candle to the utter domination of this little chimp playing Jenga on Japanese television. Yes, we said Jenga! [YouTube via AOTS]
· If you are offended by the sight of Robert Downey in blackface in Tropic Thunder, wait til you get a load of an overweight Japanese guy in blackface pretending to be Stevie Wonder in this bizarre tribute to "We Are The World." [Gheorge: The Blog]
· In what will certainly go down as the worst atrocity to happen to the Batman franchise since Joel Schumacher got kicked to the curb, we are disappointed to report that The Dark Knight's got milk. [FilmDrunk]
· "Here’s a napkin someone wrote on for me: 'I will give you a blow job on your break, so sexy! Kim—714-XXX-XXXX.' I would also get offers from women in my ear: 'Anything you want, just find me.' I had a girl who had turned 18 the day before. She was with a high school group, and she wrote down her room number at the Downtown Disney hotel. I had a lady hump my leg one day in the park." Excerpts from Charlie Sheen's post-Denise diary? Nope. Just a day in the life of a Disneyland Jack Sparrow. [LA Mag]
· We're not quite sure exactly why every episode of Twin Peaks is available on CBS.com — considering the show aired on ABC — but that doesn't mean that we're not grateful. How's Annie? [CBS.com via Thighs Wide Shut]

What's the bigger scandal in Kim Masters' recent rundown of the kerfuffle between Ari Emanuel and Ben Silverman: That Slate published the whole thing with Emanuel's name repeatedly misspelled "Emmanuel," or that Silverman would dare stand Emanuel up not once but twice in meetings with Marvel boss David Maisel and producer/director Peter Berg? We honestly don't know, but for sheer cafeteria-slapfight drama, we're leaning toward the latter:

Even though Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez have yet to shoot their planned Barbarella remake — which is going to start any day now if McGowan's recent fantasy promise holds — they're wasting little time moving forward with their next classy genre collaboration: Women in Chains! No, seriously, that's what they're actually calling it: