Project Runway is all about vision and delusion. The vision to make designers use difficult fabrics. The delusion that burlap must be ugly. The vision to give the models control. The delusion that anyone cares what they think.

It's all happy and gay in this household where everyone is trying to look "straight," but jealousy is leaving a bad taste in their mouths. Like this actress who drinks her own pee or another on a coke binge. Yummy!

Jersey Shore, the (overly) buzzed-about documentary series created by the vengeful ghost of Margaret Mead, is coming to an end tonight. (Well, a season end, at least.) So what do we do now? Explore other terrible youth cultures, of course!

Here's a little thing to make you feel ancienter and terribler than you already do: On Monday, the most watched show of all the shows was iCarly. Yes, Nickelodeon's techno-feminist revision of I, Claudius is very, very popular.

We, the Senate of the United States of America decree that we can improve the quality of side-by-side sleeping—commonly known as spooning—for all Americas. We hereby decree:

"Orlaaannnnndo! Concrete jungle where dreams die and wither in the hot palmetto sun and everyone's miserable..." We were in Florida last night, proud member of our nation, and gosh did we see a lot of miserable people. One got arrested!

And of course, Banksy has promised the local cops he won't do any graffiti. So. [Animal NY has the whole story. Pic: trentcall]

She should get a trophy for finding the limo she left her bag of coke in. Also award-worthy are a mooching husband and a star with a freaky fetish. We'd like to thank the academy for these blind items.

If American Idol is all about dreams (and it is), then last night was a nightmare. Not the sit-bolt-upright-in-bed kind of nightmare. But one of those bad dreams that's difficult and long, the ones that make you wake up tired.

Tiger is reportedly getting on the monogamy wagon, and this guy's famous wife insisted he get help too. This actress needs help getting over a past love, and a reality star needs help getting over himself. Welcome to Gossips Anonymous.

Taiwanese newspaper Apple Daily has struck again, this time digitally re-creating the feud between Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno and Jeff Zucker as an animated superhero caper. NBC needs to option this immediately.

Robert Halderman utterly failed to convince a judge to toss extortion charges against him on First Amendment grounds. The judge also didn't buy his "but Tiger Woods skanks did it, too" defense.

It's a private party at the gay bar when this dude gets sauced. Two Golden Globe nominees snuck off for a private game of doctor, and this hard-partying lady likes to show her privates. You're on the case, private eye!

Now that the long weekend is over, box office receipts are in and, unsurprisingly, Avatar conquers yet again. But Denzel Washington can still open movies, while Peter Jackson's latest is something of a bust.

[Thirty-two-millionaire Conan O'Brien stops by a rally yesterday in Los Angeles; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Twitter has become a magnet for Hollywood celebrities, which explains why Facebook's clearly jealous flacks were conducting interviews on the Golden Globe red carpet last night. Next step: Convincing stars like Ricky Gervais that users are worth the trouble.

This is what a keen male eye has posited in a post for T Magazine (the New York Times' snooty luxury fashion pub.) Well, to be fair, she says "curvy", not the f-word. But still... really? Let's consult some photos!

Hollywood glitterati were Tweeting pictures and doing other techno-things during last night's big time Golden Globes ceremony, and we've rounded up some of their snaps. They're grainy and blurry, proving that Twitter really is going to ruin traditional journalism forever.