A reauthorization of the Patriot Act was defeated on Monday night after 26 Republicans voted against the measure.

Ah, our new, super-civil politics. No longer will cross-hairs be threateningly wielded or presidents' birth certificates be questioned. Rejoice! Our national discourse now rises to the level of fragrant poetry. Except when a Democratic congressman compares Republicans to Nazis.

Senator Joe Lieberman (I - His Own Butt), will reportedly announce tomorrow that he won't be seeking re-election next year, because he won't win. And, by denying us the thrill of watching him lose, America's greatest political troll strikes again!

House Democrats voted in a private meeting this morning to reject the tax cut plan President Obama negotiated with the GOP.

Tonight, Jon Stewart opened The Daily Show with a segment about the recent deal in Congress, aided by President Obama, that extended the Bush-era tax cuts. Specifically, Stewart mocked Democrats and Obama for their hyperbolic vilification of Republicans. Watch inside.

Barack Obama gave a definitive press conference this afternoon — excoriating Republican "hostage takers" and "sanctimonious" Democrats alike, and outlining a clear strategy for centrism. And he kicked it off by getting angry.

Don't worry, millionaires! Thanks to our broken government, you will likely get those insane and irresponsible tax cuts extended.

Stephen Solarz, the former Democratic congressman who made public the vastness of Imelda Marcos' shoe colleciton, has died of esophageal cancer.

Senate Democrats will keep a "Don't Ask Don't Tell" repeal in the defense authorization bill next month. This is your last chance, gays, and supporters of gays, so consider telephoning your particular plutocrat. Then we can stop talking about this!

In a new study from the Center for Important & Definitive Studies, it was found that self-identifying Republicans' number three favorite show is ABC's wholesome (and kinda gay!) Modern Family. The Democrats voted murderpalooza Dexter as their third favorite.

A whole bunch of Democratic staffers on Capitol Hill soon will be unemployed, like every other American. So in their last days, exiting staffers are being granted career advice, résumé building, and... grief counseling.

Barack Obama seemed cheery today at his post-election press conference, just relieved that the death parade is finally over. He humbly accepts your "shellacking," America, and he'll think about all this stuff after he flees the country. Clip below.

Democrats will be delighted to read a guest op-ed in today's New York Times from retiring Indiana Sen. Evan Bayh, lecturing his fellow Democrats about why they must become a right-wing party. What a troll, huh?

You lose the Delaware Senate race. Christine O'Donnell—the Delaware Republican Senate candidate who declared, "I am you"—lost to Democrat Chris Coons. Thank God this is the last time we'll ever see or hear about Christine O'Donnell, ever.

Tonight, Jon Stewart opened with a focus on tomorrow's midterm elections. Stewart first mocked Democrats for the "delusional" thought that they'd retain a Congressional majority, and then blasted Fox News for trying to make President Obama seem racist. Video inside.

The craziest Tea Party candidates are great for Democrats. The math bears it out. So, Democrats in Pennsylvania figured it was a good idea to help a crazy Tea Party Birther get on the ballot to play the spoiler.

We all know that Democrats love Starbucks and Hustler, while Republicans love Skoal and Soldier of Fortune. Or do they? A new study of the favorite brands of liberals and conservatives show some surprising agreements.

America is scared of Democrats and sick of their whining. 44% of likely voters say the Democratic Party is "more dominated by its extreme elements," versus 37% for the GOP. This is probably because Democrats have very few "likely voters."

Tonight, the entire world was riveted by the latest chapter in a disaster that has unfolded in front of cable news cameras for weeks. Christine O'Donnell's candidacy! Tonight O'Donnell and her Democratic Delaware Senate opponent debated live on CNN.

Right now, Democrats are like old people trying to win over jaded teenagers. Grandpa Obama is up there, cajoling and wheedling the base into getting pumped up. Could pot be the secret ingredient that brings young Liberals to the polls?