For the “It’s Expensive to Be Poor” file: The poorest people in the world pay more of their income to get clean water than anyone else.

New York City real estate is too expensive to afford for most people who are not foreign billionaires. Mayor Bill De Blasio has vowed to build or preserve 200,000 new units of affordable housing in the next decade. Is that even possible? The experts say: Uhhh.....

When blessed with one of the most moving natural vistas on the face of the earth, the entrepreneurial heroes of America can be relied upon to do the right thing: build a bunch of crap around it to ruin the view. For $$$!

The Arctic, located at the top your globes, is a very cold place covered in snow and ice. For now. But not for long. There are plenty of business people already making plans to industrialize the hell out of this frozen wasteland.

New York City's luxury housing boom, which has been a trademark of the Bloomberg administration's distaste for building substantial housing for anyone but the superrich, has reached its astounding conclusion: massive condos owned by people so rich, they don't actually live there.

Remember film? That stuff your baby pictures were taken on? Developing it is something of a niche hobby these days, but if that's your bag, you'll like this strange (and relatively easy!) method. The main ingredients? Instant coffee and vitamins.

As the huge (largest-ever in Brooklyn) and controversial Atlantic Yards development project, adjacent to some of Brooklyn's most bobo-filled enclaves, makes further progress, the level of hysteria rises and rises. The latest story has a group of Park Slope residents freaking out about a new bar opening in their neighborhood (in anticipation of arena crowds supposedly) that they fear will dare to play hip-hop music.

The Lower East Side is changing! You blink once, and the neighborhood has gone from an immigrant-packed hovel of tenements to a rich jerk-packed hovel. Of condos! The National Trust for Historic Preservation has just named the entire freaking neighborhood one the nation's 11 most endangered places:

Last night, representatives of the five design teams proposing plans for West Side Rail Yards development made their first public presentations. The order was randomly chosen, with each team allotted 20 minutes each. Inside Cooper Union's Great Hall, an old man stood directly behind me and began chewing on something loudly. A young Jewfro'd man, not being able to find a seat, simply lay down on the floor, as if star-gazing. Were all development enthusiasts born in a barn? In any event, four proposals were "meh" to interesting. And one was horrific.

Curbed came across some utterly ridiculous plans for a new tower planned to desecrate the Lower East Side. Dubbed the Delancey Tower, the building was designed by Harlem architects Peter L. Gluck and Partners and was to rise opposite the azure excrescence known as Blue. But the fact that the firm seemed to be using pre-chewed gum to build models made us suspect the thing has less of a viable future than Sanjaya. We're delighted to report the building is indeed stymied, or in the words of architect Tommy Gluck, "temporarily on hold." And if the building's experience of being on hold is anything like our experience of being on hold, that hold will be interminable and cruel, and scored to Vivaldi's Spring.

Coney Island's amusement park Astroland recently opened for its final season. Soon it goes the way of all things old tymey—trammeled 'neath the cloven hooves of developer Joe Sitt, who bought it up in November. But let others moan and groan (and yes, even petition) against the upcoming destruction and condofication of Astroland. Whatever preposterous excrescence will soon stand where the Cyclone once did, we know it won't be more mind-blowing than what preceded it. Midgets! Incest! Nuremburg! Welcome to Lilliputia!

The best part, by far, was the model of the 12-story 47-unit building, designed by Audrey Matlock, which LIT UP! Through the miniature glass fa ades, the lights reflected their gentle glow onto the well-cared for hides of the wealthy gathered like moths around it. Lady Cavendish, sweat seeping through her cake-makeup, swayed in a full length fur coat and Ivanka Trump nearly concealed her desire to punch us, then kiss us. Later developer Robert Gladstone, a nice-smelling older man, told us about 20% of the units are sold. They range in price from a cool $1 million for a 1br to just under $5 million for a two-terraced unit. No word on whether you get a discount if you have a view of Gehry's dastardly IAC headquarters.