So overcrowded is the summer movie marketplace that the only way to distinguish one's upcoming blockbuster product from the blowing-shit-up competition is to hit the talk show circuit and recreate some of the fun that awaits fickle moviegoers upon their next trip to the multiplex.

Perhaps realizing that the impromptu, beer-soaked promotional appearance he made on behalf of Live Free or DieHard at halftime of a recent Nets playoff game might not reach as many hardcore film nerds as he'd like, onetime wisecracking animated critter and resurgent action star Bruce Willis has taken to the Talkback boards at Ain't It Cool to get the word out about his comeback vehicle, which he swears will contain all the brain-splattering, hard-R violence his fans crave despite a PG-13 rating that limits him to a mere two "fucks." Here, Willis dramatically outs himself as suspiciously defensive poster "Walter B":