"Dilbert" Guy Fears Assassination by Hillary Clinton Extremists
Hamilton Nolan · 06/06/16 09:29AM
Political news today: “Dilbert” cartoonist and famously reasonable man Scott Adams has made his presidential endorsement.
Political news today: “Dilbert” cartoonist and famously reasonable man Scott Adams has made his presidential endorsement.
Scott Adams—the man behind everyone’s favorite suicidal coffee mug adornment—has some thoughts he’d like to share with the world. No, this time it’s not about how much of a genius he is (not to brag). Nor is it about how rapes aren’t the rapist’s fault (they can’t help themselves!). Instead, today, Scott Adams would like to take a moment to talk to you about ISIS and the root cause of its many evils—otherwise known as women.
"If you were to tell me in the afterlife that a total nobody defiled my corpse, I'd be pissed. But if you said that my lifeless shell had rough sex with a mortuary worker who later became Alex Trebek, I'd feel some pride in that." The Dilbert guy still hasn't lost his heartwarming comedic touch.
Scott Adams is the guy who writes Dilbert, a cartoon beloved by suicidal office workers across America. Scott Adams is also, not to brag, the smartest person in America, judging simply by the quantity of thinly-veiled self-regard which drips off of each and every post on Scott Adams' blog, especially the rapey ones. Scott Adams' genius possesses such a breadth and girth that it often crowds everything else off the internet, forcing Scott Adams himself to take on the task of pointing out just how big of a genius Scott Adams is.
Dilbert creator Scott Adams was caught last week using a sockpuppet account to praise himself and slag off his critics on Internet message boards, like a chump. Today he published a 3,000-word explanation of why you idiots on the Internet made him do it.
Oh, no, sorry not Nikki Finke. "Tilda," the Hollywood blogger character on HBO's new show. Also today: the Logan's Run remake passes its Carousel, Jesse Eisenberg lands another role, and a new teen comedy could be good or awful.
"Scarcity brings clarity," says Marissa Mayer, the blonde cyborg who runs Google's search engine, in a BusinessWeek interview. She makes fun of Dilbert-style managers — but in reality, she shows how she's turned into one.
Cube-dwelling funny pages favorite "Dilbert" from Scott Adams has a redesigned website, sporting the now-ubiquitous "beta" label, offering widgets and buying into the user-generated content fad — you can now create "mashups" and work out your own corporate-minion frustrations within the confines of speech bubbles. [CNET]
Did you know that cubicles have been around 40 years? In celebration of that fact, why not set your cubicle on fire and burn down your entire office? Just a thought. Appropriately enough, Scott Adams, the guy who draws your once-favorite-now-annoying office cartoon "Dilbert" has helped to design the CUBICLE OF THE FUTURE. One that can actually be purchased! Is he qualified for this at all? I don't see how he could be. Why not just send all cubicles to Iraq and everybody work from home from now on? Oh, that wouldn't be in the Dilbert spirit! So here's a look at some of the real features of "Dilbert's Ultimate Cubicle." There's no way these things are gonna sell.
Remember 'Dilbert,' the comic strip that pillories meddlesome bosses and deadening corporate culture? In the late 90s, its creator Scott Adams made millions of dollars licensing everything from the strip itself to dolls to "Accomplish-mint" to the "Dilberito", "a vitamin-packed meatless burrito." Now he manages a failing restaurant in a strip mall in California. Surprisingly to no one yet pleasingly ironic to all, he's a horrible horrible boss.
Scott Adams, the cartoonist behind Dilbert, has discovered the proper use for Second Life. During a "virtual booksigning," which seems to defeat the purpose, Adams invited fans to kick him in his virtual crotch, which is what passive-aggressive Second Lifers want to do to famous people anyway. I'm so glad Al Gore invented the Internet. This is going to change everything. Catch the video after the jump.
"There is nothing more frustrating than writing a perfect sentence and not being able to publish it. That's why I love having this blog. Otherwise, it's just me and the cat having a laugh at how witty I could have been. And it's creepy when the cat laughs because I can never be sure we're laughing at the same thing." — Dilbert cartoonist Scott Adams on dirty words in comic strips. [The Dilbert Blog]