If they only had a heart. Upon seeing this week's spine-tingling video of Michael Jackson's '84 Pepsi ad accident, Pepsi and vid director Bob Giraldi don't give a shit. The international moment of dead pop star respect is officially finito.

It's a sticky summer Friday, so two thirds of the Fox & Friends triumverate has left the city to go loiter outside the Bush compound in Kennebunkport. Meaning Steve Doocy is all alone! And his sub cohosts are... disasters.

Oh, holy god. Remember when Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire while filming a Pepsi commercial in 1984? Well Us Weekly got the harrowing footage and claims the injury spurred his terrible painkiller addiction. His head just... catches on fire.

Oh Fox & Friends. The whimpering ferrets had Show-and-Tell today, and somebody (Gretchywetchy, was it you?) brought in their crazy uncle Glenn Beck. He wanted to warn the kids of one thing: Communism is coming. And it will destroy us.

A Southwest Airlines flight from Nashville to Baltimore last night made an unscheduled stop in West Virginia. Because a hole "appeared" in the plane, in the same sense that a meteor "appeared" over the Yucatan, then obliterated the dinosaurs.

Last weekend the New York Times Magazine published a beautiful set of photos of abandoned buildings and such, as a chronicle of the end of the gilded age. Now they've pulled them for probably being Photoshopped. Fakery!

Poor Lydia Hearst. The deft financial analyst was to host a big Social Life magazine 4th of July party in the Hamptons over the weekend, 'cause she's on the cover this month. But alas she couldn't make it. Twas gallstones!

Air France flight 447 plunged 35,000 feet into the Atlantic earlier this month, obliterating everyone aboard. Last night, a Yemenia Airways flight ditched in the Indian Ocean, killing 152. If only those planes had been equipped with air bags!

With its many servers, Google devours electricity. And with search queries growing by 50%, it's only getting hungrier. The solution? Drill a two-mile-deep hole in the Earth, extracting geothermal energy and possibly destroying San Francisco with a terrible earthquake.

An actor named Kevin Byrd sent a bad, self-composed press release to reporters, which one of them posted on Facebook. A PR blogger picked it up to point out how bad it was. That's when Kevin Byrd came unhinged.

Since we're in the midst of a vague, threatening porn industry HIV scare, some things are changing. Like talent-producer relations. Do you trust your porn stars? Don't! [UPDATED]:

Government bureaucrats are holding their fancy "hearings" in their air-conditioned offices to talk about what they can "learn" from the smooth river-ditching of US Airways Flight 1549 by hero pilot Chesley Sullenberger. Learn this, Poindexters: how a real hero talks:

Flickr user Shepherd Johnson was browsing the official White House photostream one night when he decided to post a politically-charged comment. Then another, then another. Soon, without warning, Yahoo's photo-sharing service deleted his account, complete with 1,200 pictures.

The traffic, it was too much: Digg just went down, a likely victim of an overwhelming surge of traffic around the ongoing keynote speech at Apple's developer conference. What's weird about this news?

This weekend, after several false alarms, searchers finally found some bodies from Air France 447, which "disappeared" over the Atlantic Ocean one week ago.

So we got duped. Twice! Heidi and Spencer, the prats from The Hills who supposedly quit the horrid reality trash barge I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here!, haven't, in fact, been gotten outta there.

Well, that didn't go well at all. One episode and several crying jags/smacking-water-bottles-out-of-Frangela's-hands later, Heidi and Spencer from The Hills have quit the disastrous reality series I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here!. Mostly because it's "not a nice show." Plus Heidi got bug bites.

The Brazilian Air Force, searching for signs of the Air France flight that disappeared yesterday with 228 people on board, has located debris, including oil and an airplane seat, floating in the water 400 miles off the coast of Brazil's Fernando de Noronha island.

ABC's marketing department is so hardcore that they will get Mickey Mouse to hand out cigarettes to children if that's what it takes to get people to watch their crappy shows!

Ugh. The story of the Slumdog Millionaire kids just keeps getting sadder. Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail, who played Dev Patel's character as a little boy, just had his shanty house bulldozed by the government.