Hello. My name is Joshua David Stein I am a fan of Top Chef, Padma Lakshmi and nipples. Trebly so when the three combine. NSFW, kinda gloriously.

Carrie Prejean, the Miss California who hates gay marriage and does porn, was pardoned today by Donald Trump. She'll keep her crown! But not before she gives a teary, terrible speech.

All the grease-scarred veterans of the Oprah Chicken Riots of '09 know that they were bad. But did you know they were one of the worst marketing disasters of all time?

Wildfires are raging in California again — this time near Santa Barbara where 5,000 homes have been evacuated — producing the apocalyptic imagery to fit our dreary mood. Pic via Getty.

The breadth of Oprah's Free KFC Giveaway Disaster yesterday is just starting to become clear. Reports now indicate that the desperate—and dangerous—Oprah-induced public rush for free chicken and biscuits was a nationwide phenomenon:

Last night at the Four Seasons there was a roast for its owners, restaurateurs Julian Niccolini and Alex von Bidder. It ended with PR demon Peggy Siegal calling Nora Ephron's son "a horrible person." Fun!:

A year before Portfolio's launch, the magazine produced mock-ups, obtained by the New York Observer. The titles are awful, but the cover lines reveal a compelling vision editor Joanne Lipman couldn't pull off.

You might remember Peter Arnell from his embarrassing rebrandings of Pepsi and Tropicana, or maybe for being an evil, foot-rub demanding boss. Now the branding wizard owes HarperCollins $100,000, for sucking, at books.

This, reportedly from a "European trade publication circa 1998," may be the single most unintentionally terrible ad ever produced. At least in the last 11 28 years. Click to enlarge. [via Fishbowl LA]

What happens after The Real World? Y'know, like, before you go on one of the Challenges? Well, if you're Scott from the recent Brooklyn iteration, you advertise Snuggies like they're goin' outta style. (They are.)

Redmond O'Neal was just busted for trying to sneak drugs into a prison. We can hardly think of a better way to cap off a year of O'Neal-related druggy hijinks.

Is it possible that in the midst of a recession, companies are thinking twice about paying outrageous fees for advice from some underling hired by America's most comical Presidential campaign failure, Rudy Giuliani? It's possible.

Poor old Kelly Bensimon. The newest and worst Real Housewife of New York hasn't had much luck with fame. First she was arrested for twink assault, and now her modeling contract's been dropped by Saks.

The New York Times has been demanding Google welfare, which would artificially promote the newspaper's stories in search results. Yet inept Times webmasters just killed hundreds of thousands of their own Google hits.

Fargo, the biggest and most Hollywood city in North Dakota, is, right this moment, on the verge of being flooded in Biblical-level deluge. How bad is it? Let us explain:

We'd heard whispers of it, but never thought it would actually happen. But it has. Sweet Jesus take the wheel, it has. The Real Housewives of New Jersey will premiere on May 12th. Meet the ladies:

Joanne Lipman, the diva editor of Portfolio, is becoming known for her disastrous cover decisions. The worst, perhaps, involved the president and Annie Leibovitz.

Meghan McCain went on Rachel Maddow's television program last night in a bid to become the Fresh New Voice of the GOP. Instead she made a fool of herself.

The never-ending parade of miseries that is Joaquin Phoenix's is-he-or-isn't-he trip from retiring actor to budding rapper rumbles on. In this chapter, he fights a heckler at a Miami show.

The girlfriend-assaulting R&B singer is nominated for a Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award! We think he's a longshot at this point, but you never know... There are always surprises at the KCAs!