· David Geffen called off talks for NBC Universal to buy DreamWorks, stepping away from the table when NBC Uni reduced their offer "on the 1-yard line," noting partner Steven Spielberg's supposedly "ambivalent" attitude about the deal. Who will buy the Geffen-Spielberg lovechild? [dramatic organ music] Will Geffen's ploy to negotiate in the trades pay off? [somewhat louder, dramatic organic music] Stay tuned! [Variety]
· Why We Love Hollywood, Part Thirty-Five: Benderspink and New Line come up with the idea for the comedy Boob Job during a company lunch, when a NL exec "told a really funny story about a guy whose wife had gotten implants and it ruined the guy's life," With that kind of thoughtful storycraft, there is no way this movie can possibly fail. [THR]
· Giddy from signing Family Guy showrunner David Goodman to a two-year development deal, 20th Century Fox TV president Gary Newman lets down his guard and describes Goodman as "a fantastic piece of manpower." Wow. That must've been some hot, closed-door negotiation. [Variety]
· Judging from her premiere Nielsens, fictional Commander in Chief president Geena Davis is easily more popular than George W. [THR]
· Says Var about Michael Eisner's final public address as head of Disney: "Call Michael Eisner the anti-Cher: While most aging icons' farewell tours are loud, frenzied and never-ending, the Walt Disney CEO seems determined to go out like a lamb." The anti-Cher? This pretty much kills Eisner's post-Disney plan to make a living doing campy cameos on Will & Grace. [Variety]

Another former MiramaxClassic employee shares further heartstring-tugging details about their impromptu "Drink-the-Kool-Aid" farewell party Thursday night at Barney's Beanery:

There's all kinds of goodies in the Defamer tip box: Ben & Jerry's coupons, Peruvian currency, little notes that say 'Next time, don't screw up my order.' But once in a while, there's something truly special, like this report of a MiramaxClassic staff reunion. Attended by Harvey Weinstein himself:

· "Just 10 days away from taking the baton at the Mouse House, a composed and articulate Bob Iger put the emphasis on single-mindedly growing the company's brands." Composed and articulate? What was Variety expecting, that Iger speak in tongues while crapping his pants? Maybe he's saving that for his first day on the job. [Variety]
· The premiere of Lost does "astounding" and "stellar" numbers, while its 8 pm recap/lead-in special causes Martha Stewart's Apprentice to bite the doily. [THR]
· The newly split-up Viacom explains its strategies to Wall Street, with Les Moonves bristling at the idea his division is "slow growth," and calling counterpart Tom Freston "laid back," which will make him "easy to kill, when the time is right." [Variety]
· Hollywood Out of Ideas, Vigilante Judges Edition: Hyde Park Entertainment to redo 1983's The Star Chamber for Fox. Well, at least it isn't for Paramount, home of all things remake. [THR]
· Batman Forever reunion! Jim Carrey is in talks to be homoeroticized by director Joel Schumacher in New Line's "quirky" thriller The Number 23. Should talks progress as expected, Carrey will begin his rubber-nipple fittings immediately. [Variety]

· The new-look, post-Weinstein Miramax looks to roar back to relevancy and make a splash at the Toronto film festival by acquiring...a documentary about girls' basketball. [Variety]
· ESPN will branch out from Bristol with offices in a new Los Angeles entertainment center (think ESPN Zone on steroids—a lot of steroids) being built across from Staples Center. The new facility should help the network's ESPN Hollywood coverage become at least 200 percent more pointless and annoying. [THR]
· House executive producers Paul Attanasio and Katie Jacobs move from NBC Universal to Fox; Fox's Peter Liguori calls the producers "monster talents" with whom he'd "like to make out with, all day, every day." [Variety]
· On a slow news day, sometimes it's fun to dive down into the deepest recesses of the casting notices and see what kind of bizarre bioluminescent news lives there: Devon Sawa and Matthew Lawrence sign on to star in the sci-fi/horror flick Hunter's Moon. [THR]
· Simon Baker joins Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway in Fox 2000's The Devil Wears Prada. We feel somewhat ashamed that we have no idea who Simon Baker is, even after reviewing his IMDb profile. [Variety]

· Steve Carell's agents make sure they book up every free minute of his next three years before his 40 Year-Old Virgin heat dissipates, sign him up for the Disney romantic comedy Dan in Real Life. (Plot unimportant.). [Variety]
· In perhaps one of the most liberal contractual definitions of "talent" to date, the WB signs a talent holding deal with Nick Lachey . [THR]
· Robert Wise, Academy Award winning director of The Sound of Music and West Side Story died of heart failure yesterday at 91. Pray that his soul was not captured inside Britney's baby after it shuffled off its mortal coil. [Variety]
· Disney's underperforming film business could flush up to $300 million down the fiscal crapper this quarter after a horrible summer. We blame Lindsay Lohan's missed days of shooting on Herbie: Fully Loaded for at least half of the loss. [Variety]
· Fox's Head Cases premiere bombs even in comparison to lead-in So You Think You Can Dance's weak numbers. Chris O'Donnell should be taking your drink order shortly. [THR]

· After snatching away Thank You For Smoking from Paramount Classics and beating out Miramax for Trust the Man, Fox Searchlight has made the Toronto film festival its bitch. [Variety]
· The season premiere of Fox's House was Wednesday night's most-watched show. New series Bones also did well with the support of its breakout star, Emily Deschanel's outstanding rack. [THR]
· The paint is barely dry on Hong Kong Disneyland and the Mouse is already talking about opening another theme park next door. We know what you're thinking, Mr. Naysayer, but Hong Kong Adventure is totally gonna rock! [Variety]
· MTV plans to launch an HD channel in January to carry music-related content from its other channels—which they will then discontinue so that viewers can watch Real World cast members vomit on the sidewalk in front of a bar in thrilling high-definition. [THR]
· Warner Bros. chooses Constantine director-with-two-first-names Francis Lawrence to direct the now-fastracked I Am Legend, a property first put into development in 1799 and once involving the teams of Ridley Scott/Arnold Schwarzenegger and Michael Bay/Will Smith. Once a cast is set, Warner Bros. can safely delay the project indefinitely, giving a new generation of talent a chance to never make the movie. [Variety]

· In the wake of the "smackdown" that it received in the recently-ended Michael Ovitz trial, Disney amends its board rules to make it "easier to remove directors and tougher to buy off angry shareholders." The next guy who tries to hire his "life partner" and then fire him a year later with a $140 million parting gift has finally been put on notice. [Variety]
· Disney Smackdown Day continues, as the theater owners association bitchslaps CEO-in-waiting Bob Iger for his comments about shrinking the window between the theatrical and DVD release of movies, and calling this year's studio product "not as good." Aww snap, etc etc. [THR]
· Warner Brothers pushes Wachowski Bros. film V is for Vendetta from a November to March release date, blaming post-production problems (four months of problems?), not its now-touchy plot involving terrorism in London. [Variety]
· Paul Giamatti and Monica Bellucci are in "early negotiations" to star with Clive Owen in the winkingly titled action project Shoot 'Em Up. Giamatti would play the bad guy (we were kind of hoping for mouthy sidekick), and Bellucci star Clive Owen's love interest. But if they really want to shake up the genre, why not swap their roles? There'd be something magic about Owen and Giamatti doing that special movie tango of sexual tension. [THR]
· Hollywood Out of Ideas, Hoo-ah Edition: Al Pacino will star in a remake/update of the 1955 French heist flick Rififi. [Variety]

We'll leave the dry analysis of what yesterday's Disney victory in the Hollywood Trial of the Century means for corporate governance and executive compensation to people with "real jobs" who "understand what happened." We're satisfied to focus on the semi-human reaction to the landmark decision, as delivered in a heartfelt statement read by the lawyer of the trial's central figure:

The Hollywood Trial of the Century ended this afternoon in a Disney victory, with a Delaware judge ruling that while it certainly may have a been a pretty dumb idea for Michael Eisner to hire onetime "life partner" Michael Ovitz to help him run the Mouse, then give him a $140 million kiss-off 14 months later when the duo discovered that they would no longer cross a street to urinate on each other if they were engulfed in life-threatening flames, the nine-figure boner didn't constitute a breach of executive duty. Guess there's some kind of ten-figure threshhold where an "oopsie" becomes punishable negligence.

When a pack of about 40 stray dogs threatened to interfere with Disney's construction of its Hong Kong theme park, the company asked the local government for a little help:

· German movie theater chains protest the Shrinking Home Video window by boycotting Herbie: Fully Loaded, which is scheduled to appear on DVD an unacceptable four months after its theatrical debut. We can't approve of the Germans holding Lindsay Lohan hostage in their business drama. [Variety]
· We're not going to let ourselves get excited about this (Ed. note—Pleasepleaseplease let it be awesome], but there is now a Voltron movie in development. The nerd is us is "forming the sword" in our pants, but we're still ready to be withered by disappointment. [THR]
· Now that Daniel Battsek has been installed as president at the new-look Miramax, they're ready to get back into the acquisitions game. Sadly, we fear that the hobbled studio may never fully regain its ability to wildly overpay for festival movies. [Variety]
· After months of languishing in the limbo of untitledness, Steven Spielberg's upcoming movie about the 1972 Munich Olympics finally has a name: Munich. Sometimes inspiration is just waiting for you to give up and go with the obvious. (Trust us, we know.) [THR]
· NBC flinches first in game of chicken with Fox's celebrity American Idol, shelves its I'm a Celebrity But I Wanna Be A Pop Star. Even though he's not directly involved, we expect CBS's Les Moonves to release a statement calling NBC's Jeff Zucker a "pussy." [Variety]

The press releases are flying as Disney has finally, officially named Daniel Battsek (don't pretend you don't know that he's Executive Vice President/Managing Director of Distribution and Production for Buena Vista International) as the new president of what's left of the lean-and-mean Miramax. Effective immediately, Battsek begins a tenure of being referred to as "the new Harvey Weinstein," whether or not he actually presides over a fresh reign of Weinstein-style terror.

· Disney gets the domestic distribution rights to Mel Gibson's next directing project, the super-secret period action flick Apocalypto. Details of the plot are under tight wraps, but it's believed that it doesn't involve the Messiah getting his ass kicked for two hours. Gibson's really stepping out of his comfort zone on this one. [Variety]
· Half Pint chooses not to run for a third term as SAG president, opening the field to Chandler's Mom and The Guy Married To Marg Helgenberger. [THR]
· Some might say that Guy Pearce is too handsome to play Harry Houdini, but not the producers of Death-Defying Acts. Since the project is "based" on true events from the escape artist's life, no one should mind prettying up the dude a little bit. [Variety]
· Just in time for the premiere of Hustle & Flow, Paramount throws some first-look deal cash at director Craig Brewer and producing partner Stephanie Allain. We know the studio already paid a huge price for H&F, but shouldn't they wait to see the weekend grosses before giving them any more money? We're just sayin'. [THR]
· UPN head Dawn Ostroff would like to remind everyone that big sister CBS passed on the buzzed-about Everybody Hates Chris, so everyone should stop saying that the show belongs on the real network, OK? Someone from Viacom really needs to give her a hug and reassure her no one's going to steal her baby, unless it becomes a hit. [Variety]

At last Thursday's unveiling of Disneyland's "special" star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, outgoing CEO Michael Eisner and CEO-to-be Bob Iger commemorate the Magic Kingdom's 50th anniversary by kneeling down and simulating the company's secret, Mickey-blowing initiation ritual.

[Photo: Jeff Lange, Jim Hill Media]

· The Agent Dance, Trades Edition: Late Friday, we heard some rumblings about UTA agents Jason Heyman and Martin Lesak bolting for CAA, apparently because CAA was already calling the trades to brag about their poach. Now the question remains: Will Will Ferrell defect along with Heyman, loosening UTA's stranglehold on the New Gay Mafia and ushering in an era of comedies not packaged by The Ooota? Dave Chappelle is also believed to be "in play," should he ever return to commission-earning activities. [Variety]
· "Dissident former board members" Roy E. Disney and Stanley Gold drop their lawsuit against Disney and give a vote of confidence to new Head Mouse in Charge Robert Iger. The trio then held hands and skipped down to grab a Fast Pass for a celebratory ride on the Matterhorn. [THR]
· The UK entertainment industry refuses to let the terrorists win, return to work creating hit shows that will one day fail on NBC. [Variety]
· Overseas audiences continue to display their enthusiasm for watching America get decimated by aliens, as War of the Worlds has taken in $201 million thus far. [Variety]
· More international box office: Fantastic Four runs roughshod over the overseas box office, once again proving that we are not alone in our bad taste. [THR]

· Unintentionally (we hope) hilarious quote of the morning: "'Anything where you have a dog in that superhero context, that's appealing on a global basis,' Barber said." Yes, this can mean only one thing: Underdog will finally become a live-action movie and attempt to slake the world's unquenchable thirst for canine superheroes. [Variety]
· Laurence Fishburne and Phillip Seymour Hoffman join the cast of Mission: Impossible 3, are contractually obligated to spend at least half an hour of their downtime each shooting day admiring Katie Holmes' huge engagement ring in front of members of the world press. [THR]
· Reflexive Self-Deprecation As Sad Truth-Telling Department: Woody Allen describes his role in his new movie: "I play a low-grade American entertainer, which is perfect for me because that's what I am." [Variety]
· ABC wins Sunday with Game 5 of the NBA Finals, more by default than by anyone's interest in the Spurs or Pistons. [THR]
· Trying to get in on some of the "there's nothing else on, so why don't we watch semi-famous people doing activities to which they're embarrassingly ill-suited" craze started by ABC's Dancing with the Stars, NBC preps I'm A Celebrity But I Want to be a Pop Star. Yes, really. [Variety]

· The Weinsteins will snatch Miramax distribution head Mike Rudnitsky for their new empire when they leave in late September, but in the meantime, they'll help usher nine of their old Miramax and Dimension babies into the world in Auguest and September. [Variety]
· Theaters owners resist billionaire Mark Cuban's "ass-backwards" plans to release films in theaters, home video, and on cable simultaneously, threatening not to show his movies in their venues. In turn, Cuban threatens to destroy their cineplexes with a satellite-mounted death-ray. [THR]
· More sweeps ratings postmortem: ABC, CBS, Fox, and UPN were all up over last year, the WB was down a bit, and NBC...well, we think Jeff Zucker's ratings bitch-hood has been well-established by now. [Variety]
· Carmen Electra continues to get acting work, while thousands of other, equally qualified dancers with fake tits continue to work the pole. [THR]
· We somehow missed this yesterday, but allow us to update the record to reflect that Meathead has dumped William Morris for CAA. [Variety]

· Warning, impossibly lame, scatological pun playing on similarity of "Sith" and "shit" ahead: Foreigners eat up Sith, as the movie rakes in $145 million in international release. [Variety]
· The New Paramount™ continues in its mission to spend, spend, spend in the quest to woo A-list actors, dropping $4 million for the rights to Robert Ludlum's book The Chancellor Manuscript for Leonardo DiCaprio. [THR]
· We've been ignoring Cannes, so here's the round-up: Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne win the Pal D'Or, Jim Jarmusch the Grand Prix, and Tommy Lee Jones wins best actor. [Variety]
· The Desperate Housewives finale kicks ass, takes names, etc etc. Grey's Anatomy is similarly huge, despite failing to make a play on the similarity of "The Syph" and "Sith." [THR]
· The Ellen DeGeneres Show wins big at the Daytime Emmys, but judging from the ratings numbers, nobody cared. We blame the pantsuit. [Variety]

ABC announced its Fall lineup at the upfronts, and prominent among their new offerings is Commander-in-Chief, in which Geena Davis (the lousy housekeeper from Family Ties) becomes our country's first female president: