I recently started subscribing to National Geographic, and its coverage of Stonehenge and jungles is incomparable. But I'm convinced that the sly geography wonks on its editorial staff get their kicks each month by selecting the most insane letters to the editor, and putting them into the magazine. The new issue has letters about a March story on animal intelligence. They must have gotten thousands! So who's represented? Inexplicable dog haters, lamb-whisperers, and schizophrenics:

Leona Helmsley's dog, who was willed $12 million when the wicked hotelier passed away last summer, will now only receive $2 million. Helmsley's disinherited grandchildren will get $6 million of the remaining sum. When reached for comment, the dog sniffed the reporter's hand and made a cute little snuffly sound.

Remember Trouble, Leona Helmsley's ill-tempered Maltese who collected a $12 million inheritance when the Queen of Mean passed away in 2007? Poor Trouble is $10 million poorer today: A judge reduced the canine's trust fund to $2 million and ruled the remainder go to charity. [NYP]

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

One of the things I never figured out about the internet is why certain sites have commenters, who those commenters are, and what compels them to do what they do. It's one thing to spend your time commenting on a site that has witty, engaging repartee, like this one. But some other places are inexplicable. Like one that came to my attention today: DailyPuppy.com. It exists to post puppy pictures. Okay, fine, I have nothing negative to say about that, dog Nazis. But do said puppy pictures require 90 comments just today, which all sound like this actual example: "Oh baby you are such a cutie-pie. A zillion biscuits and cuddles poppet and have a wonderful life. xxxxxxxxxxx." GOD. It really challenges your ability to even continue liking puppies. Below are some more of the deep thoughts on Chloe the Labrador Retriever, today's puppy (pictured). This dog can't read, you fools!

Perpetually cute actress Amy Adams took a break from being the cute one while out walking her brand new puppies in Brooklyn Thursday afternoon. Adams told the photographer that it felt refreshing to be stopped by children because of her puppies for once, rather than for the usual reasons (which, duh, is because she was in Enchanted). Adams said that her new puppies also distract people from the unflattering haircut she's sporting. "It's for a role," she explained.

The Motion Picture Association of America is carting two pirate-DVD-sniffing dogs around the continent in honor of "World Intellectual Property Day." They stopped by an L.A. elementary school to give the demonstration shown here: "Lucky" and "Flo" sniff a bunch of boxes of DVDs to find the pirated ones. When I think that the training of these dogs could have been wasted on detecting bombs, I feel so warm inside. But that's not all the MPAA is doing to remind people that it will hunt us down for stealing Harold and Kumar 2!

Our love of a good celebrity-falling-down picture is well-documented, but today we bring you something far more precious: A celebrity-being-peed-upon-by-a-dog photo. It's the fabled unicorn of the Embarrassing Celebrity Accidents on Film Realm. Pictured, a passing Toto speaks for the entire Star Wars male fan base with his frank assessment of Natalie Portman's new bearded, bejeweled, patchouli-infused boyfriend, Devendra Banhart. (Click photo for the full-sized picture.)

American dogs, like American people, are turning into a bunch of dumpy, couch-ridden fatties. But the pharmaceutical industry is rushing to the rescue! Slentrol, a diet drug for dogs, recently launched a new ad campaign [NYS] to convince guilty dog owners that what their mutt needs is chemicals, not a stick thrown a long way, over and over. Furthermore, some stern doggie personal trainers are warning about the dangers of "the wrong kind of exercise"—specifically, "uncontrolled play." Give those dogs a structured exercise program and diet drugs at once, foolish yuppies!

Who would have guessed that Martha Stewart's late dog Paws would look like this? We had her pegged as more of a Labrador person. But her doggie died, and she's grieving via a photoessay on her blog. It's a truly stark portrait of grief and the saddest thing ever.

Have you signed the petition against Guillermo "Habacuc" Vargas yet? He's the Costa Rican artist whose latest big exhibition featured him tying up a starving dog "without food and water under the words 'Eres Lo Que Lees' - 'You Are What You Read' - made out of dog biscuits while he played the Sandinista anthem backwards and set 175 pieces of crack cocaine alight in a massive incense burner." Some reports say the dog starved to death during the display; the gallery director says that's not true. Either way, Vargas is not a popular man with animal lovers. By now, more than a million people have signed a petition (you can sign here, if you're so inclined) urging that he not be allowed to recreate the work, and the cause continues to draw media coverage and generate new outrage. But the artist calls his opponents hypocrites. His defense, and a video of the exhibit in question (which is pretty heartbreaking), after the jump.

Subprime crisis, predatory lending mortgage catastophe affecting the poors and middle class, blah, blah. Wait... doggies? Finally, a reason to care about this devastating economic catastrophe! The Washington Post reports that due to an increasing number of foreclosures, animal shelters are overflowing with dogs whose owners had to give them away.

A Los Angeles neighbor of American Apparel hipster-in-charge Dov Charney writes in after seeing our item about Dov's charming front yard "Fuck off" sculpture. Turns out that while he's often seen wandering around talking on the phone and scratching his balls, Dov may be letting his primary occupation, assisting young models, interfere with an equally important obligation: taking care of his poor little chihuahua, named "HedKayce." Dig it! The full email, after the jump.

It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and Kate Bosworth's party guests learned that the hard way over the weekend. At a little soirée to celebrate the success of her new crapfest movie 21, Bosworth's dog bit co-star Aaron Yoo square in the face!

Ha ha, what's the only thing more entertaining than watching regular dogs? Watching dogs who are kinda old and tend to fall down! Ohhhh, he can't quite get in that darned trunk! It's okay though—these dogs are going to be GETTING BETTER, thanks to Dr. Frank's Safe & Natural Joint Pain Relief For Pets, offered in this infomercial. There's plenty of testimonials, but the best part, honestly, is the falling dogs. And the pug so old that it has to ride in a basket. Click to the video to watch them stumble.

Richard Martin, the crazy old Bay Ridge building manager whose penchant for leaving psychotic, insulting signs all over his front door has turned him into a New York tabloid sensation and, consequently, media critic, has finally been captured on film in his natural habitat enjoying his favorite activity: helping his tiny dog ride the mechanical horse. A complicated man, Richard Martin is. Click to enlarge this picture of a lifetime. [Bay Ridge Rover via BeehiveHairdresser]

This is my new favorite website. [Dog Report Dot Com]

A photo editor of the New York Post wrote a desperate plea last night: "I am on URGENT hunt for images of the (now dead) NY times Bureau dog Hentish and two other dogs that are also in the NY times Bureau, Itchy and Scratchy. (See Reuters story below) I need something today- Dec 18th. Might any of you have any images of them from years past or... know any freelancers shooting in Iraq right now that you can recommend me to email right now. Perhaps one of them might have some images." WHO WILL KEEP NEW YORK TIMES DOGS ITCHY AND SCRATCHY SAFE FROM MURDEROUS BLACKWATER NOW? By the way, we want puppy pics too—and we don't pay that standard photo rate! We pay nothing!

The Daily News continues to own the "human interest stories involving Scores strippers" beat (no wonder they're back on top—except for that little matter of how they're carrying so much bulk circ, but whatever!) with today's story of a dancer reunited with her two adorable dogs.

We're not the only ones who thought this week was a little slow for news: "Good Morning America" had a feature about an adorable mutt who is literally "up a tree!" Bonus Sam Champion doggie impression included.