Freshman 15! Conjoined twins! Breast milk! Wino diet! Lonely sleepers! Yoga pain! Soda targeting! Cold flu! And some health facts just aren't funny! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—supportively!
Earlier this year, Catholic University president John Garvey vowed to get rid of co-ed dorms, lest his school further descend into the depths of liquor-soaked "nun and priest"-themed heterosexual orgies. Is mere sexxxual segregation enough to tame the devilish sexxx hormones of sexxxy young sexxx-crazed students at the very peak of their sexxxuality?
All Adam Eubank's brother wanted to do was barbecue a raccoon. He did not intend to get anyone into trouble. But police heard about the raccoon-meal preparations—which took place out in the open, behind their apartment building—and found some buckets of "an unknown material" related to meth-making on the premises. And so the night was ruined.
Have you ever seen this kind of woven bracelet before? Supposedly all the kids are wearing these things now—errrrr, I mean, planning on wearing them, soon, very soon, like any day now. It's so they can smoke their weed and get high, to spite you!
As the Starbucks menu continues to grow and diversify, one item that millions of Americans crave even harder than bucket-sized portions of caffeine — prescription opioids — still remains frustratingly out of reach. Unless, that is, you happened to stop into a Starbucks where one Dr. Feelgood was allegedly doling out OxyContin, Vicodin, Xanax, Adderall and Suboxone to customers he barely knew.
Thirty-eight days since the Occupy Wall Street movement first took over Lower Manhattan's Liberty Plaza, the movement has caught fire and spread to more than 100 cities nationwide and beyond. Polls show that close to 60% of Americans approve of the protests.
Shit ton isn't a scientific measure, but it can be used to describe the 104 bricks of coke that Leo Sharp, an 87-year-old Indiana resident, was busted with in Michigan. This is like a real life Breaking Bad.
What if I told you that having a medical marijuana dispensary near you could actually reduce crime in your neighborhood? You'd probably be like "duuuude," or some other stereotypically "stoner" thing, because your "glaucoma treatment" has been particularly good lately. Well, snap out of it, man: I'm here to tell you that a medical marijuana dispensary does not reduce crime in your neighborhood after all!
Darrell Hammond — the seemingly mild-mannered Saturday Night Live impressionist — says in his autobiography, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked, that he had to down whole bottles of cognac backstage to "[calm] my nerves and [quiet] the disturbing images that sprang into my head." When that failed to work, he would cut himself. Some of the gashes were huge.
Playboy's published its entire correspondence with the late journalist Hunter S. Thompson, and while most of it's not quite as fascinatingly deranged as the various letters (and other documents) from Thompson that have surfaced over the years, the cache does contain this amazing hangover cure, undated and scrawled on the stationery of the Beverly Hills Hotel:
Candy medicine! Preemie autism! Medical marijuana! Shy teens! Sick Americans! Aggressive kids! Down's fetus! Coyote cloning! And kids these days can't seem to do a god damn thing healthily! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—nurturingly!
Here we have a perfectly rational, not-at-all-insane news report, introduced by a sober anchor, about how Snoop Dogg reached out to a Welshman named Ian Neale, whom he'd stumbled upon on YouTube discussing a noteworthy accomplishment: Neale grew the world's largest rutabaga, or "swede" as they are known in the U.K. — short for Swedish turnip.
The inadvertent consumption of pot brownies by unsuspecting dessert lovers continues to plague the weed-covered West Coast. After last month's accidental dosing of an office in Victoria, B.C., comes this story from Huntington Beach, Ca., in which a trio of senior citizens attending their friend's memorial unwittingly snacked on a plate of ganja-laced goodies.
Addiction vaccine! HIV contraceptive! Lazy walkers! Alien snails! Autism therapy! Pregnancy diet! Drunk driving! Sun vitamins! And Alzheimer's is already creeping into you, right now! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—strenuously!
Boeing thought a lot of employees who work on military aircraft at their factory in Ridley Park, Pennsylvania were on drugs. So they brought in the feds.
John Huffman is just a regular old organic chemist. He is nearly 80 years old. And just because he invented all of the fake weed that kids these days are smoking doesn't mean he wants to hear your jokes, okay?
