British deviser of upmarket period soap operas, Julian Fellowes, has left the Abbey of Downton and put his mind to adapting a story about the trendiest star-crossed couple in literature onto the big screen like never before. It's set in the time that it was set in—so expect flouncy dresses, masks, swordplay, balconies, and probably no Hawaiian shirts or "Verona Beach" goofin'.

Is Ryan Phillippe robbing the cradle of an actress half his age? Is J. Lo divorcing because she's too controlling? Why did Ed Westwick hide from the paparazzi in a tree? Elin Nordegren's new boyfriend: super sleazy, or super-duper sleazy? Tuesday gossip has questions.

Everyone: Demi Lovato doesn't have a sex tape! Lady Gaga is excited about DADT being gone. Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson have dinner. How did Taylor and Jake meet!? Some Gossip Girl Gossip. Sunday gossip roundup!

Denied entry from Japan for being a cokehead, Paris Hilton tweets ominously. Nicole Richie has a bachelorette party in Mexico. Lindsay Lohan might be denied bail after her latest probation violation. Wednesday gossip terrorizes innocent women, children, and men.

[Ed Westlywickens of "The Gossips and Their Girls" on the set today; image via Splash]

["Those old fools? Girl, please." That's Ed Westwick on the show's Central Park set yesterday. Image: Bauer-Griffin]

Oksana and Mel's troubles began at an Australian placenta ceremony. Lawyers bug Lindsay Lohan to testify about her strip search. Zac Efron blows $2000 on booze and strippers. Heidi Montag is missing. Wednesday gossip is a hot mess.

[Gossip Girl actor Ed Westwick strolls New York with a Marlon Brando tank top, red beaded rosary, aviator sunglasses, and a perplexed look on his face. Image via Splash.]

Lindsay Lohan dodges a second warrant for her arrest by posting bail for the second time. A third Gary Coleman will surfaces. J.Lo makes a deejay repeat her song six times in a row. Wednesday gossip is in the doldrums.

We were far too busy watching the season finale of Nurse Jackie to attend the Council of Fashion Designers of America Awards last night at Lincoln Center. But fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there taking plenty of notes!

It was about being "fake." Speaking of fakes, guess which starlet got a boob job now? Jake Gyllenhaal fears ostriches. Ed Westwick fears Olivia Munn. Bethenny Frankel filmed her childbirth for a TV show.

The Avatar star insists James Cameron lost because he's not a woman. Sandy B met one of Jesse's girls. A real life Gossip Girl couple breaks up. A real life Jersey Shore couple fights. Tuesday's gossip wins by technical knockout.

Ed Westwick dumps Jessica Szohr over a dramatic jetsetting affair. Lindsay Lohan's new stepmother used to be her assistant, and even Dina thinks it's "incestuous." Whitney Houston wasn't snorting coke, she has allergies. XOXO, Thursday Gossip Roundup.

A writer wrote about Tiger Woods' penis! Some chick from The Bachelor totally cheated on The Bachelor! J-Lo in a catsuit! David Paterson's awesome rapper friends! Adrian Grenier isn't ugly! OR IS HE?! Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

[Ed Westerlywicker from "A Gossip Girl's Guide to Gossip, Girl" arriving at Fashion Week; image via INF]

Katie Holmes and Suri walking in the snow yesterday ... Kate Bosworth waiting for a cab outside the Bowery Hotel ... Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr walking hand in hand downtown ... Jessica Biel arriving at ABC studios for an appearance on Good Morning America along with Jennifer Garner ... Taylor Momsen walking to her trailer on the Gossip Girl set ... Lake Bell leaving the Bowery Hotel ... and Ashley Olsen getting out of an SUV in front of Cipriani 42nd Street.

Sarah Silverman unleashes the rage of a thousand indignant female fans on an ex-boyfriend. Brangelina sues News of the World for the break-up rumor. I hereby nominate Kevin Federline to date Kate Gosselin. Tuesday gossip just wants to be loved.

• Remember the dust-up a couple of weeks ago when it was reported that Beyoncé had performed for the son of Libyan dictator Moammar Khadafi in St. Bart's on New Year's Eve? Photos of the concert have now surfaced, although the worst thing about them may be how Beyoncé looks like she's the headliner at a tacky club in New Jersey. [DM]
• Is Bethenny Frankel trying to pull a Star Jones? It seems Frankel has been approaching vendors and asking them to "sponsor" her wedding: She'd get their services gratis and, in exchange, they'd get a mention on her upcoming reality show, Bethenny's Getting Married. The only problem with Bethenny's grand scheme? She hasn't had much luck finding companies interested in taking part. [NYDN]
• Here's a great idea: David Letterman has reportedly invited Conan O'Brien to appear as a guest on his show. Cross your fingers! [PopEater]
• Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have not broken up, in case you were concerned. According to friends, he'd committed to working on a film in Wyoming, which is is why he didn't climb Mt. Kilimanjaro alongside Biel. It's not because he didn't want to, say, spend a week living with the love of his life in a tent. He would have totally done it if he could have. Really. [P6]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie donated $1 million yesterday to Doctors Without Borders to fund emergency medical operations in Haiti. As for whether Tiger Woods really paid to send a plane full of medical supplies to the devastated nation, that's a (pretty unlikely) story that Russell Simmons has been circulating, though Tiger's reps have yet to confirm it. But it wouldn't be the worst way to begin rebuilding his image, come to think of it. [Us, TMZ]

Paris' aunts join the family fameball, Conan invites Dave Letterman on his show, Heidi Montag's boobs almost get her kidnapped, Brian Williams envies Matt Lauer's abs. Thursday's gossip is one Hilton short of shooting the moon.

We were busy watching all the jokes about Leno last night to make it to Gossip Girl costume designer Eric Daman's book launch party. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern never lets us down. Here's her report.