Paris' aunts join the family fameball, Conan invites Dave Letterman on his show, Heidi Montag's boobs almost get her kidnapped, Brian Williams envies Matt Lauer's abs. Thursday's gossip is one Hilton short of shooting the moon.

  • Bravo's forthcoming Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has two aces in the hole: Kathy Hilton's "beautiful sisters" Kyle and Kim Richards, [fig.1] says The Daily Truffle. Instead of acting dynaties like the Baldwins and Barrymores, the future will have famewhore dynasties, family lineages dedicated to the fine art of the video confessional. Then we can make a new, extra-humiliating version of Family Feud where the extended Hilton-Richards clan battles the Kardashian-Jenners, perhaps in Iron Chef's Kitchen Stadium, with an aloof Trump family looking on, judging and scowling. [Truffle]
  • This could be the greatest Leno-bashing yet: Conan O'Brien David Letterman has reportedly invited David Letterman Conan O'Brien to come on his show. Dear TV Gods, Please let this happen. I would even watch it on a television, instead of Gawker.tv's nightly postmortem. (Using the remote control is too much work, you see.) [NBN]
  • NBC's last hope, quashed: Jerry Seinfeld refuses to host the new show he's producing for them, even though they're desperate and begging. [P6]
  • Page Six thinks Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake are still dating, but I'm thinking ex sex. He's on a break from the Facebook movie and she just got back from climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, which screams "my something-to-prove rebound activity helped me get over you, and now we can hook up with impunity." [P6]
  • Late Wednesday, an unknown man came rushing out of Speidi's house with a person with a pillowcase over his/her head. Witnesses called 911 to report an apparent kidnapping; police arrived, cuffed the guy, and questioned him—eventually releasing him saying it was all a misunderstanding. TMZ's theory: Heidi's boob job will be on the cover of People this week, and it'd be a breach of contract for her to be photographed elsewhere. Query: Why don't celebrities ever get into their cars while they're still in the garage, with the door down? Don't they have the kind of garages that connect directly to their homes? Then they won't always be running across the lawn and driveway with their heads down and/or in pillowcases. [TMZ] [TMZ]
  • Heidi's boob reveal coincides with the release of her album, which she spent "almost $2 million" of her money on. Who knew Speidi had to $2 million to burn? [P6]
  • Let's throw our weight behind this one: TMZ says Elton John is a frontrunner for Simon Cowell's American Idol replacement. [TMZ]
  • Brian Williams reconnects with the guido within: "Brian's from the Jersey shore... it's part of our culture on the Jersey shore for men to want to look good," including working on your abs, which is why Williams covets Matt Lauer, who is dead ripped. [NBN second item]
  • What do they think this is, an episode of Gossip Girl? Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick were so loud and swear word-y at East 60th Street eatery, the customers complained. Leighton's response: "Fuck you!" Ed's response: "We should all be happy. Let's hug it up, guys." In some ways, the latter is meaner; sardonic/belittling/fake hugs are the worst. [P6]
  • The Bachelor producer who seduced a contestant has been revealed! His name is Ryan Callahan, he has also worked on The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll and The Cougar, which means he knows his way around the ladies. Starcasm has unverified pics. [Radar] [Starcasm]
  • In a move everyone saw coming, Law & Order is adapting David Letterman's blackmail fiasco, with Samantha Bee as a daytime talk show host, and her female lovers as suspected extorters. Shades of Oprah? [NYDN]
  • Bethenny Frankel plans to turn a profit on her wedding, by making a show called Bethenny's Getting Married, with corporate sponsors so she needn't invest a penny of her own. There is something so noxious about a sponsored wedding. [Gatecrasher]

Figure 1.