It's been a while since we heard from the "Obama's a secret Muslim" lunatic fringe, but they still pop up from time to time. Like at today's Louisiana rally for Newt Gingrich, at which a man named Bob Nolan offered this stunning assessment of the president.

It's been a bad week for Mitt Romney and a good week for Ohio Art: the latter produces the popular toy Etch A Sketch, which got a helping hand from the Romney campaign. On Wednesday, Romney strategist Eric Fehmstrom made an unfortunate analogy when asked about his candidate's ever-changing policy positions.

It's such a rarity to see one of these mashup, supercut things done well. Watch Hugh Atkin's creation, if not for the line, "the real Mitt Romney's are just masturbating," than to experience the oddly hypnotizing quality of Romney's voice set to Eminem.

John McCain knows a thing or two about nasty. Appearing on NBC's Meet the Press, he reflected on the current campaigns for a Republican presidential candidate to face off against Obama in November. Romney, Santorum, and Gingrich have all been criticized for waging war against each other in the form of attack ads in key primary states.

Non-hateful people everywhere were delighted yesterday by the story of two gay men kissing in protest at a Santorum rally. Now we have video of the event, which is regrettably sandwiched between Santorum's speech and the crowd chanting "U-S-A" as the protesters exit the gym. The interruption begins around 3:30, and the kiss follows shortly thereafter. You can now view a shorter version of the video that cuts through much of the bullshit.

Santorum's virgin eyes have been tarnished by sin — as a protest against the Republican presidential candidate's vehemently anti-gay policies, two men got the attention of the crowd at an Illinois rally and kissed each other. Guards removed the men from the gym as the crowd chanted "U-S-A." Because nothing is more American than repression.

A few weeks ago, Mitt Romney stuffed his foot in his mouth after proving to the common folk at a NASCAR race that he was a fan of the sport because he has "some great friends who are NASCAR team owners." This week, he somehow crammed the other foot in there by repeating almost literally the exact same thing about the NFL.

Can a Mormon win the presidential election? Florida's Reverend O'Neal Dozier doesn't think so. The senior pastor, who has publicly expressed support for Rick Santorum, wants Mitt Romney to denounce his Mormonism. And no, it has nothing to do with posthumous baptisms.

It's Rick Santorum's turn to win a caucus, and he is close to doing that in Kansas. Granted, this process of selecting a Republican presidential candidate is not a turn-based system, but in this case, Santorum does owe his competitors a debt of gratitude for giving him a big leg-up.

Down in Mississippi, Mitt Romney is learning to speak southern with common southern phrases:

So Andrew Breitbart's belated death-rattle made its debut last night, and here's what it is: Barack Obama, in 1990, gave a speech saying nice things about a bad man named Derrick Bell. He also hugged the bad man, Derrick Bell. Ipso facto reduction ad absurdum habeas corpus hocus pocus, Barack Obama is a bad man as well. Airtight.

At today's press conference with Obama, CBS' Norah O'Donnell informed the president that Romney had called him "the most feckless president since Carter." Big time burn.

Did you know that Mitt Romney is a homo-loving pro-gay fetishist who wants your children to be taught by cross-dressing gay soldiers? That's the upshot of a bizarre new pro- Santorum robocall going out to Ohio voters today.

Catholic scold Rick Santorum thinks Julian Assange is a "terrorist"—and ought to be prosecuted as such—for his role in releasing thousands of pages of classified documents on the internet. He ought to know: In 2006, Sen. Rick Santorum literally forced the U.S. government to dump thousands of pages of classified records concerning Iraq onto the web, including detailed plans for building a nuclear weapon, so that right-wing bloggers could search them for evidence of Saddam Hussein's phantom WMD.

Yesterday — in the wake of losing several sponsors — Rush Limbaugh apologized for calling law student Sandra Fluke a "slut" and a "prostitute." Fluke had the audacity to argue in front of Congress that her employer's health care coverage should cover her birth control. Since Limbaugh made his apology, notable Republicans have stepped forward to agree that Limbaugh's comments were out of line, and that the conservative talk show host does not speak for the Republican party as a whole.

Campaigning in Ohio, Rick Santorum has kept his focus firmly on family values as opponent Mitt Romney concentrates on the economy. Santorum's biggest concern: families without one father and one mother. (He didn't actually adress gay families in his speech, but you can probably guess how he feels about that.)

Get ready to have your mind blown. A new non-partisan study has determined that Mitt Romney's tax plan "strongly favors the wealthiest Americans."

"Do you have items lying around that you don't use?" asks Mitt Romney's 2008 presidential campaign website. "Now, you can sell these items with little hassle and the added benefit of supporting Governor Mitt Romney." Welcome to Mitt Market.

Gather round Grandpappy Romney, kids, and he'll tell you all about the day of the great Golden Jubilee, the 50th anniversary of the American automobile and a landmark event in Detroit history.

The remarkable thing about Mitt Romney's foot-in-mouth moments is that Mitt Romney's foot-in-mouth moments almost always have to do with Mitt Romney admitting that he is dreadfully, dreadfully wealthy. Romney, for example, is "not concerned about the very poor." His wife Ann, for example, drives "a couple of Cadillacs."