It's time for another presidential debate, but this one is different, because everyone will follow the rules and tell the truth. This is the foreign policy debate, which means we get to witness the Lucky Alien Sweepstakes, in which the two candidates' answers determine just which nation's people have won the right to be torched alive from airborne American hellfire. CROSS YOUR FINGERS, SYRIA.

It's time for another presidential debate, but this one is different, because everyone will follow the rules and tell the truth. This is the foreign policy debate, which means we get to witness the Lucky Alien Sweepstakes, in which the two candidates' answers determine just which nation's people have won the right to be torched alive from airborne American hellfire. CROSS YOUR FINGERS, SYRIA.

The small town of Leakey, Texas (pop. 387), is stirring with an excitement not felt since the Leakey High Eagles last won the state football championship in 1975. But this latest stir has less to do with victory and far more to do with pure ignorant hatred, compliments of Leakey's nondenominational Church in the Valley.

For reasons just as inexplicable as having soulless cheeseball Bruno Mars double-team musical guest/hosting duties, Saturday Night Live once again spoofed those unfailingly viral Gathering of the Juggalos infomercials this weekend.

Proving once again that close access to politicians doesn't result in favoritism or any other blurring of professional responsibility, members of the media covering the Romney campaign played a fun little game of flag football with Romney's staff on Sunday. Such fun! Many hilarious jokes were made.

A recent post on the New York Times Campaign Stops blog discusses all sorts of Google search-related political factoids. The point of the analysis is, for the Times' purpose, to act as a predictor (or, the article's title puts it, a "crystal ball") for the election. But it also offers up important information about how often people do things like search for topless photos of Paul Ryan, or, on the more depressing end of the spectrum, how often people searched for "Obama" in conjunction with "KKK." Here are some of more interesting searches:

You really have to visit the lovely town of Leakey, Texas, home to The Church in the Valley, a hidden little Southwestern sanctuary just 90 miles northwest of San Antonio. It has the most adorable signage! Take, for instance, the one that points to the road and says, ahem:

Doesn't it seem like the U.S. and Iran have been trying to "talk" forever? Remember way back, like, right after the 2008 election when they would slink off and have these intense, very secret conversations and we were all like oh, those two crazy kids will work it out! And we would sort of just avert our eyes and talk about whatever because it was just awkward how much they were fighting in public.

Yes, that's Joe Biden delivering a bag of Dunkin' Donuts and a carton of coffee to a Field Office in Florida. He is wearing a very nice navy-blue blazer with gold buttons, slacks, and a pair of aviators because that is what Joe Biden wears to go pick up Dunkin' Donuts. No, he did not once look this serious during his debate with Paul Ryan.

The Salt Lake Tribune endorses Kenyan President Barack Obama. Has Mittens lost the Mormons?

Speaking at Virginia's George Mason University this afternoon, President Obama told the crowd he knows why his rival Mitt Romney has been "backtracking and sidestepping" so much lately: He's suffering from a condition known as "Romnesia."

An anonymous "family foundation" has paid for nearly 150 threatening voter fraud ads to go up around the Midwest, often in predominately black and Latino neighborhoods (the one above looms across the street from a housing project in Cleveland). The ads, 85 of which have appeared in Milwaukee and 60 of which are now around Cleveland and Columbus, read, "Voter fraud is a felony! Up to 3 1/2 years & $10,000 fine."

Rep. Joe Walsh (R-IL) said during his final debate against Democratic rival Tammy Duckworth that he opposes all abortions "without exception," even if the mother's life is said to be at risk.

Most voters may have already put Paul Ryan's faker-than-usual soup kitchen photo op in their rearview, but the charity that runs the hunger relief center says it is still dealing with the financial ramifications of "Dishwatergate."

Several days after a man was spotted in Harrisonburg, Virginia, allegedly discarding several completed voter registration forms in a private home accessory store dumpster, deputies in Rockingham County arrested a 31-year-old Pennsylvania resident affiliated with the Republican Party of Virginia and charged him with multiple felonies in connection with the incident.

The annual white-tie function known as the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner took place last night.

After Tuesday night's debate, a photograph of Mitt Romey's son Josh sitting in the audience with a bloodcurdling stare quickly went viral. And then, yesterday, another Romney son — Tagg — told a radio host that he wanted to "take a swing" at President Obama. All of which leads to the natural question: which is the creepiest Romney?

Former Republican speechwriter and game show host Ben Stein likely won't be invited back on Fox & Friends any time soon after the conservative economist dropped a megaton truth bomb in the studio earlier this morning.

No one is quite sure who's behind a mysterious new website promising "an October Surprise that will change the 2012 election," but that hasn't stopped people from guessing.

If you are a business owner, Mitt Romney has a message for you. Tell your employees that the future depends on voting for Mitt Romney. You can do that, legally. In fact, tell them—the people whose paychecks you sign—that their futures depend on it, too.