You don’t have to read too close between the lines to see a heathen peeking out.

Former viral sensation and aspiring heavy metal star Balloon Boy (otherwise known as Falcon Heene) has officially announced his endorsement of Donald J. Trump in an email to Gawker.

Donald Trump winning an election? We’ve come to accept that bizarre possibility as plausible. But telling a pollster that you view Donald Trump as electable? Now that’s crazy.

Someone at the Daily Caller had a good idea: call John Rocker, the retired former Atlanta Braves relief pitcher, and ask him if he supports Donald Trump. As luck would have it, John Rocker indeed supports Donald Trump. “I think he has really woken America up,” Rocker tells the Caller’s Scott Greer.

Jerry Falwell, Jr., president of Liberty University and son of professional television charlatan Jerry Falwell, just officially endorsed man-who-has-definitely-read-the-Bible Donald Trump for President of the United States. Both Corinthians would be proud.

At last night’s uneventful Iowa “town hall” discussion on CNN, Hillary Clinton was asked which president she most admires. Her answer: Abraham Lincoln. Her reason: a terrible muddled mess of Dixie revisionism that puts Reconstruction in the same dark bin as Jim Crow.

According to the New York Post, Donald Trump commutes to campaign events in Iowa from Manhattan, so that he can stay involved in the family business—The Trump Organization. “I’m still running a business,” he said. “It’s doing phenomenal, and the hotels are doing even better because of the excitement factor.”

Two years ago to the day, New York Times Magazine put Hillary Clinton on its cover in the form of a gnarled, grinning orb of flesh. It is, objectively, the best magazine cover.

There are several issues with what Jeb says in the above video.

Donald Trump put a new veteran-focused campaign ad up on Facebook today, but it was pulled down before most anyone could see it after commenters pointed out that the footage clearly depicted Russian veterans wearing the distinctive St. George ribbon and pins with the Communist hammer and sickle.

Chris Christie will not be returning home to New Jersey in time for the blizzard expected to hit the state this weekend and plans to govern instead from New Hampshire—after all, the man has a primary to lose.

Donald Trump would like to share a message from @WhiteGenocideTM with his nearly 6 million followers.

“Jeb Bush is my son,” Barbara Bush seems to acknowledge in a 35-second commercial released Friday—and just in time for Jeb’s birthday!

This kid has better stage presence than Jeb.

Haha, just kidding. But who would have thought that the phrase “Iggy Azalea Sarah Palin mash-up Vine” would bring so much joy in 2016?

Sarah Palin is officially endorsing Donald Trump for President of the United States. Which is why Sarah Palin is currently screaming at a room of crazed Trump supporters about a future with their Dear Leader—specifically, a future in which they’ll be able to “do their job and KICK ISIS ASS!!!!!”

GOP candidates definitely know that “Malala” is the name of a prominent person that exists. This much we know. GOP candidates do not, however, seem to have any idea who Malala Yousafzai is—or in Jeb Bush’s case, that she is not, in fact, Barack Obama’s daughter.

On Sunday afternoon, Donald Trump took to his Facebook page to tease the “very special guest” attending his rally in Iowa later today. So after some quick eliminating of nearly everyone because who in their right mind would possibly align themselves with Trump, the internet settled on its most likely answer: frequent subject of McCain night terrors Sarah Palin.

In New York magazine this week, Jonathan Chait attempts to make “The Case Against Bernie Sanders.” Allow us to un-make it.