The fifth season of Fred Armisen's hipster sketch show Portlandia premieres tonight, and if you spend enough time reading about the comedian online, you'll be left with two impressions: First, that he's funny and charming. And second, that his charm and humor mask something of a reputation. For what exactly depends on whom you ask, but here are some adjectives that have been used to describe him over the years: "womanizer," "sociopath," "traumatizing," and, from Armisen himself, "terrible."

Peggy Olson's making moves in this Mad Men super-cut where she leans in, knows her value, and gets bossy before any of these helpful books were even a twinkle in someone's eye!

The most beautiful woman in the world has the ugliest laugh. Justin Bieber sprains his knee. Lindsay Lohan forgoes painkillers. Katy Perry's married life is like "a sitcom." Friday gossip needs a better laugh track.

Tonight, Season 4 of Mad Men came to a close and instead of ending with the pain and misery that was hinted at nearly every week, we got something rather different, something kinda close to happy. What's going on?

LiLo was "giggling" and downing Jack and Coke when she admitted to using drugs. Lady Gaga's meat dress gets made into jerky. Britney Spears buys a skateboard for her sons. Thursday gossip is totally saturated.

Elisabeth Moss files for divorce. Jailbound Lindsay Lohan gets a facial. Michael Jackson's kids will take the stand to discuss his drug use. Tuesday gossip puts its best face and worst faith forward.

J.Lo's assistants aren't allowed significant others or vacations. Fred Armisen dumped Elisabeth Moss for a younger SNL cast member. Montana Fishburne explains the weird spots on her butt. Naomi Campbell cheats on her taxes. Thursday gossip rules with fear.

Today's summer concert series featured Justin Bieber and wild, crazy pre-teen girls seem to completely surround 30 Rock. For some ungodly reason the, show held interviews with Jonah Hill, Elisabeth Moss, and NHL's Vice President outside among the screaming tweens.

Everything in life can be divided up into those three categories, essentially. This week we have a new Grubman baby, possible deaths of institutions, and the beginnings and endings of marriage.

• Lizzie Grubman gave birth to another son yesterday. Little Jack arrived ahead of schedule, though, which must be wreaking havoc on Lizzie's weekend plans. [P6]
• Larry King lost "more than $1 million" to Bernie Madoff. And some sources say Madoff is now contending with some "serious" health issues. [P6]
• Tom Cruise is undergoing an image makeover so he can win back female fans. This will reportedly prohibit him from wearing sunglasses on the red carpet, getting grabby with Katie Holmes, or lecturing TV hosts on psychiatric medications. [Star]

Jeremy Piven faced quite the gauntlet at last night's Globes: a press pack hungry to douse him in soy sauce and eat him alive, plus his aggrieved former Broadway costar, Elisabeth Moss.

As so many stories wind down for the holidays, it's comforting to know that the new developments in Jeremy Piven's Sushigate scandal are even more delicious than the soft shell crab roll at Matsuhisa.

Mary-Kate Olsen smoking during lunch with boyfriend Nate Lowman ... Jeremy Piven hailing a cab outside Balthazar ... Robin Williams leaving his hotel ... Mad Men star Elisabeth Moss crossing the street with a Starbucks cup in hand ... Brad Pitt getting in an SUV outside the Michael Kors boutique on Prince Street and later stopping off at Mercer Kitchen ... Kim Raver, Brooke Shields, and Lindsay Price filming scenes for Lipstick Jungle ... Katie Holmes walking to a yoga class and later carrying Suri into their East Village apartment building ... and Ed Westwick walking on the Upper East Side.