If you've not yet discovered the LAT "Follow the Donors" feature yet, it's a searchable database tracking every individual who donated to either side of the Prop 8 campaign, alongside their corresponding place of business. It's a great way to check up on that receptionist with the troll dolls on her computer who's always yammering on about how great the new Michael W. Smith album is. You can also plug in celebrity names, of course, and see what pops up.We already found two donations from David Geffen amounting to $200,000, and, confirming reports, another $100k each from a "self-employed" Brad Pitt and Ellen DeGeneres. And what of donations in support of the measure? We managed to ferret out an "unemployed" Mel Gibson living in Cameron Park who gave $250 to the Yes side. Alas, this was probably not the star but a gay-hater of lesser means bearing the same name, as Cameron Park is a community about 25 miles outside Sacramento. Then again, you never know where the Malibu land baron might have a little pied-a-terre. We'll just assume it is the Apocalypto director until we hear otherwise.

• So Anderson Cooper told Ellen DeGeneres "Honey, I don't even know where to begin" with NeNe from Real Housewives of Atlanta. That was Tuesday. Now NeNe is inviting the CNN anchor to ogle her chest and "get down and dirty" and have some "brown sugar." Her husband, an obvious CNN viewer, is totally fine with this.

Now that ABC has unceremoniously axed Brooke Smith's lesbian character from Grey's Anatomy and performed a wholesale gaywashing to turn an upcoming bisexual guest arc into a totally heterosexual, female bonding adventure, other Grey's stars are speaking out — or, in the case of Patrick Dempsey, using loaded silences to make his thoughts on the matter known.Dempsey appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today (incidentally, a program that Sara Ramirez's Callie will no longer be watching) and when DeGeneres brought up the firing, McDreamy pulled out a canned response ABC had sent to him and read from it sarcastically. Afterward, DeGeneres asked if the firing was OK. "It is for them," said Dempsey, providing enough passive-aggressive venom to make Isaiah Washington (busy waiting tables at the NBC commissary while he waits for that follow-up call from Ben Silverman) point to the screen and insist, "See? That's what I was talking about!"

"Honey, I don't even know where to begin with NeNe!" says Anderson Cooper, and we don't know where to begin with this clip, in which the newsman throws some serious shade on Ellen DeGeneres for not watching his favorite guilty pleasure, Real Housewives of Atlanta. Yes, when not globetrotting in Kosovo, interviewing Katrina evacuees, or organizing his closet of medium-size black t-shirts (by frequency of use, natch), the Coop is a reality television devotee. Still, even his love for Dancing with the Stars is eclipsed by his obsession with Real Housewives. Something's gotta fill the void until season two of Living Lohan! Clip above.

♦ Guy Ritchie supposedly cried after seeing son Rocco wearing a Yankees t-shirt this week. So sensitive! Or maybe not so much: Ritchie also reportedly described Madonna as "old, fat, ugly and wrinkled," and said she couldn't sing. [Us, NYDN]
♦ Not only did Lindsay Lohan's stint on Ugly Betty get cut short because she didn't get along with America Ferrera, LiLo clashed with everyone else on set, too. Also, she enjoys snipping out photos of herself from the tabloids. [P6]
♦ Jennifer Aniston's publicist is denying she's pregnant. [ET]
♦ Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen spent four days in the hospital with a "potentially life-threatening throat-infection." But she was miraculously cured and released yesterday afternoon. [Us]

We're not exactly sure when Ellen took a complete detour into surreality, but it might have happened on today's show, when Ellen DeGeneres asked vice presidential nominee Joe Biden to perform the charity-inspired task of throwing balls at a dunk tank. And who would be sitting in said tank, ready to be pitched into the cold water below should one of Biden's balls hit the target? Seinfeld actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus, because why not.The resulting spectacle was like a Republican's fever dream of what could happen should the Obama/Biden ticket make it to the White House: Democrats stoning/drowning innocent straight women in the public square as gay-married lesbians cheer them on. If we only could have brought out Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid to do an awkward dance while DJ Tony Okungbowa played "Me So Horny." Next time, guys!

For nearly a month, we've needled gay Hollywood to contribute to the "No on Prop 8" cause that, for a while, seemed to be the exclusive domain of straight allies like Steven Spielberg and Brad Pitt. Most visibly MIA was Ellen DeGeneres, whose marriage this summer to actress Portia De Rossi should have given her even more reasons to fight Prop 8, which is designed to take away marriage rights awarded to same-sex couples in California. Now, finally, DeGeneres has stepped up to the plate, donating $100,000 so that the "No on Prop 8" campaign can air a new ad DeGeneres has recorded about how the proposition affects her personally. Props must be paid. The ad, after the jump:

Click to viewBoomp3.com The stakes have been raised this year at the Justin Timberlake celebrity golf tournament in Las Vegas. Instead of the usually celebrities playing with a few fans and having a casual, fun game of golf, the celebs and now fans have to play 18 holes with popular television personality Ellen DeGeneres on their back. DeGeneres doesn’t feel she’s an obstacle or hindrance, but is instead supportive and helpful. DeGeneres said, “Who doesn’t enjoy a hug? I know I do. So, I’m just offering support.” [Photo Credit: Getty Images] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

It's often said that gays are on the cutting edge of most trends, but when it comes to defeating California's Proposition 8 (which would thwart the same-sex marriage laws enacted this summer), most out celebrities have fallen pitifully behind their straight allies. The first high-wattage Hollywood name to donate to the "No on 8" name was Brad Pitt, whose $100,000 donation was quickly matched by Steven Spielberg. Now, after straight B and C-listers including Pete Wentz and Chelsea Handler gave money to fill the gay gap, The Advocate brings word that Grey's Anatomy power-gay T.R. Knight has finally become the first high-profile out star to contribute to the cause. So who's still missing?Perhaps the most notable M.I.A. gay is Ellen DeGeneres, who has sounded off about Prop 8 on the talk show circuit, but has yet to donate to the cause (though she did find time to host a fundraiser for the animal rights-advocating Prop 2). Other gay mafiosos like Portia DeRossi, Rosie O'Donnell, and Elton John are still nowhere to be found on the donations list, while behind-the-scenes gay talents like Gus Van Sant and Bryan Singer are missing, too (for that matter, straight allies like Jay Leno and Julia Louis-Dreyfus have advocated against the proposition but have yet to put their money where their mouths are). Their inaction comes after Tuesday's announcement that contrary to earlier reports, Proposition 8 is ahead in the polls and likely to pass next month, dealing a massive blow to the gay marriage cause. Backed by religious forces, the "Yes on 8" financial war chest has far exceeded that of the organizations working to defeat the proposition. Ohio entrepreneur Jonathan Lewis has challenged Hollywood power players to donate, promising that he and his family will match the contributions dollar for dollar — though the only notable gay figure to donate since was Angels in America playwright Tony Kushner, who gave $15,000. Hey, Ellen? Pretend it's adorable puppies who can't get married. Got a dime to spare? [Photo Credit: AP]

After so many seasons of shared LOLs, the relationship between Hills stars Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge appears to have come to an unfortunate, WTF-tinged end. Rumors are flying that Conrad betrayed her friend by hooking up with Patridge's vacant, hirsute ex-boyfriend Justin "Bobby" Brescia, and today, Patridge took to the Ellen DeGeneres Show to further fan the flames. A clearly mystified DeGeneres tried to sort out the "who's zooming who" particulars with the help of some visual aids, but only a Hills aficionado could make sense of a backstory so simultaneously convoluted and uneventful. Still, all the Dermalogica face cleanser in the world can't hide Patridge's newfound loneliness. Stay strong, auburn-haired one! [The Ellen DeGeneres Show]

We're not sure whether Julia Louis-Dreyfus is angling for a "guest actress on a talk show" Emmy that doesn't exist, but she's certainly put in game performances over the past week, whether she's enlisting in the Letterman/McCain War or stealing from Tina Fey on the advice of a mischievous Conan O'Brien. Louis-Dreyfus's latest target was The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and she smoothly changed promotional gears to talk about the newest storyline on her sitcom The New Adventures of Old Christine, which finds her character entering into a gay marriage with Wanda Sykes to help the latter stay in the country (even though immigration is a federal issue that California's same-sex marriage laws can't circumvent). Naturally, Ellen had a few Prop 8-related words to say on the subject — though, Ellen? Money talks, too. [The Ellen DeGeneres Show]

Though Ellen DeGeneres still hasn't announced a major donation to the campaign to fight California's homophobic Proposition 8 (despite hosting a fundraiser for the animal rights-friendly Proposition 2), she at least denounced the proposition last night while guesting on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Even Leno himself got into the act by spreading a queer-friendly message of tolerance — one he no doubt hoped would erase memories of the time he badgered Ryan Phillippe to give the camera his "gayest look." Noting to DeGeneres that he spends a lot of time in West Hollywood, a surprised Leno called it, "the nicest area, the cleanest area, the safest area!" Is it the most "articulate" area, too, Jay? [The Tonight Show]

We're still reeling from the bombshell news that singer Clay Aiken is gay. We keep returning to the picture of his revelatory People magazine cover and pleading to unknowable gods for an answer. Why??? And— Wait a second. Haven't we seen this picture before? The cocked head, the casual yet frank declaration, the curious hair? Um, yes! Yes we have. On NSYNCer Lance Bass's People cover two years ago and comedian Ellen DeGeneres' big Time cover ten years ago. Same exact head position, nearly the same hair, and Clay and Ellen even have that little extra "Yes" or "Yep"—that same sheepish sense of "yeah, I know you knew, I'm just sayin' so it's out there and all." Bass didn't get one of those folksy affirmatives because, we suspect, he was still laboring under the illusion that people weren't sure about his sexuality. Or maybe People magazine was. Gay rumors dogged him, to be sure, but not in the same way that they followed DeGeneres and Aiken. So is this the way to come out on magazines? I mean, straight dudes would never do that head tilt, right? Oh, and where in the heck is Lindsay Lohan's cover?

♦ You probably heard the news yesterday that Clay Aiken is coming out of the closet. We thought we'd remind you again since you're undoubtedly still in a state of shock and disbelief. [P6, People]
♦ Anna Wintour took the trash out of her West Village townhouse wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, and slippers. [R&M]
♦ Olivia Palermo's role in Whitney Port's new Hills spinoff will earn her $12,000 an episode. [P6]
♦ In response to her father's recent rants, Lindsay Lohan says her dad is out of line and "obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods." [P6]
♦ Jude Law was spotted with protestors outside the UN this week, although he was acting like "more of an observer than a protestor." [MSNBC]

Now that mogulsexual Ryan Seacrest finally has an American Idol season to start taping, he's shelved his budding bromance with NBC head Ben Silverman to get back to what he does worst: trading barbs with Simon Cowell. To kick off this latest round of homoerotic oversharing, Seacrest landed himself on Ellen DeGeneres's couch, where he proceeded to mock Cowell's self-obsession and accuse the withering judge of a Botox addiction. Yes, Ryan Seacrest called someone else out for metrosexual grooming. Removing your blond highlights can really embolden a man. [The Ellen DeGeneres Show]

• Gordon Ramsay says he's partnering with Victoria Beckham to open a restaurant in LA. Yes, a restaurant. Whether she'll actually taste any of the food served there is anybody's guess. [P6]

We needed something to bleach the image of Julianna Margulies's privates off our cortex, and what better psychic disinfectant than some exclusive footage from Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi's recent nuptials. Both brides look stunning—their vaginas safely stowed away somewhere where guests and hovering helicopters would never see them. We were particularly moved by the moment Ellen first laid eyes on Portia emerging in full hair, makeup, and gown, a sight that could turn even the most ardent of penis-enthusiasts into card-carrying members of the American Association of Lipstick Lesbians. [Ellen]

• More on NBC's decision to drop Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews from covering the election on MSNBC: Olbermann got a raise out of the deal, Matthews didn't, and NBC chief Jeff Immelt may or may not have be behind the move. [P6]

• Anne Hathaway: "I was kind of afraid of [Barack] Obama the first time I saw him... I was afraid to trust him and I was afraid to have hope when I first kind of became aware of him. It was around the time that he gave his speech on race that I just said 'I can't deny how I feel about you, Barack Obama.'" Please just stop talking, Anne. This is almost worse than the Madonna/McCain/Hitler thing. [AP]

By all accounts, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi's Saturday wedding was a stunning and intimate affair, the two beautiful brides eliciting audible gasps from the guests as they walked down the aisle, trailed closely behind by Iggy the Flower Dog tossing mouthfuls of white rose petals. Obviously, the world bids these two rapturously-in-love and talented ladies a lifetime of happiness together, though it's interesting to see how those good wishes sometimes play themselves out. For starters, we have CNN's headline on the nuptials, noticed by blogger Chexydecimal, which reads, "Ellen DeGeneres 'marries' Portia Rossi." After complaints were lodged, they pulled the scare quotes—floating there like two chubby, hooked televangelist's fingers—but kept De Rossi's last name wrong. T.R. Knight's internalized, anti-breeder wrath nearly ruins the wedding video, after the jump!At the other end of the spectrum comes a video greeting card from People.com, where Katherine Heigl opens the well-wishes with a thoroughly exasperated, "Marriage...[defeated exhalation] marriage..." Glad you're loving it, Kath! Then, T.R. Knight swoops in to give what could very well be the most depressing congratulatory wedding message in history. He almost cracks a smile near the beginning, then pauses thoughtfully for an uncomfortably long moment before launching into a diatribe about "the anger, and rage, and rage, and sadness" he feels at the many wrongs inflicted by this country upon, presumably, Caucasian males making seven-figures a year such as himself. Thank God Jason Biggs is around to add a little—you know—happiness to the proceedings. This dude loves marriage! And breeding! He's a marriage-loving, breeding machine!