Elton John debuts his surrogate-born baby. Christina Hendricks lost an $850,000 diamond bauble. Christina Aguilera picks a catfight with a co-star. Octomom makes her fetish film debut. Tuesday gossip is miraculous.

Shania Twain is married... but it's complicated. Some stars have New Year's resolutions. Drew Barrymore buys a house. Lindsay Lohan channels Gandhi. Kathy Griffith

Today the NY Post ran an article announcing the birth of Elton John's son. Sweet! Too bad they mention his "wife" in the headline. To say Elton John has a wife is homophobic, sexist, and just plain bad journalism.

Musician Elton John and husband David Furnish are now the parents of Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John, born to a surrogate. They should have named it "Jet," and then had another kid named "Jet," and called themselves, "Elton and the Jets."

This morning, Elton John provided us with a quick analysis of Regis Philbin's psyche, based on Philbin's desire to call John by his Knighthood title of "Sir," despite John's protests. Watch the awkwardly funny clip inside.

Here is a children's treasury of Rush Limbaugh wedding photos, which were uploaded to Facebook today. You remember that wedding, the one where the arch conservative windbag was serenaded by gay foreigner Elton John? It was lovely. Take a look:

Yes indeed. The singer-songwriter and his writing partner Lee Hall (Billy Elliot) are teaming up to create a musical based on George Orwell's classic novel. It's a dark allegory about Stalin! One hopes, naturally, that puppets will be involved. [NYT]

The not-terribly-gay-friendly former Soviet state is happy to have Elton John do a concert in Minsk, so long as he's not too gay about it. They government has requested footage of past concerts to make sure it's not too swishy.

So it looks like our plane-based message of congratulations will be soaring high above The Breakers in Palm Beach this evening. That's where Rush Limbaugh's super-secret wedding will now be taking place. And Elton John is supposedly performing! What?

After admitting she has a penis, Lady Gaga was overheard telling Elton John at a benefit last week, "Do you believe everything you read? I don't have a penis either, Elton." Oh, Lady G, stop crushing our dreams!

An "intuitive psychic" healer named Aiden is her new manager. James Brown's body goes missing from its crypt. Socialite shocked to discover racism, anti-semitism, homophobia make you unpopular. Corey Haim died of a too-big heart. Friday gossip is so alone.

First Elton John called Jesus gay now noted gay and AIDS activist Larry Kramer is on Joy Behar tonight to continue his quest to convince people Lincoln is gay. Stop it! No one cares.

Is "fishers of men" a euphemism for cruising? Adam Lambert kisses a girl. Shakira makes fetal position sexy. Lil' Wayne has eight root canals. The guy who punched Romney is a famed rapper. Friday gossip wants to drill, baby, drill.

Animal New York says this photo of Lady Gaga from the Grammys definitely proves she does not have man parts. As Gawker's resident vagina expert, I know this is a real vagina. The problem is, it's not the real Gaga.

This year's Grammy Awards actually deserved the "Music's Biggest Night" title. Inside, video of all the best moments, including Lady Gaga's opening duet with Elton John, a speech by Michael Jackson's kids, and performances by Beyonce, Taylor Swift and more.

• What caused Brittany Murphy's death last month? The toxicology report hasn't come back, but Murphy's husband, Simon Monjack, is already pointing a finger at the culprit: He claims Warner Bros. killed her. Yes, the sketchy writer/director/ photographer (who claims he has a PhD and made his fortune as a currency trader and art collector) is putting the blame on the film studio, since it fired her from a job two weeks before her death and it was the stress that ensued that killed her. He's now preparing to sue Warner Bros. But you probably could have guessed that. [Daily Beast, NYP, P6]
• Those reports last weekend about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up never panned out. But it could still happen at any moment, reports Us Weekly. Why? Because Angie feels that Brad isn't "pulling his weight" around the house and she yells at him "when he makes the eggs too runny or burns something." And the "spats have gotten so bad recently" that Pitt now calls "her a bitch behind her back." If you were thinking the recent false alarm might convince the tabloids to focus their elsewhere attention, think again. [Us]
• Michael Douglas' 31-year-old son, Cameron, pleaded guilty yesterday to trafficking meth and cocaine—he was busted at the Gansevoort Hotel last July, as you may recall—and now faces a minimum of 10 years in jail. [NYP, NYDN]

Who gave Taylor Momsen the grown-up lollipop? A Jersey Shore guido plans his future at Harvard Law. Brittany Murphy's husband sues Warner Brothers for killing her. Charlie Sheen's ex checks into rehab—but why? Thursday's gossip round-up raises questions.

Paris' aunts join the family fameball, Conan invites Dave Letterman on his show, Heidi Montag's boobs almost get her kidnapped, Brian Williams envies Matt Lauer's abs. Thursday's gossip is one Hilton short of shooting the moon.

Courtney Love bid $120,000 at last night's Elton John Foundation benefit lto go out on a date with Bill Clinton. Fortunately for the former president, Love didn't end up winning the auction. But that's okay. She has fond memories of meeting Hillary Clinton a few years ago: "I had breakfast with [Hillary Clinton] once at the Chateau Marmont in about 2004. We have the same hairdresser. We had a great breakfast—she's great, she gossips. We gossiped and we talked about corporate mergers. She's a lot more fun than you would think." [NYM/Vulture]

• The Lohan family drama goes on. Another recorded phone call has been released and this one features Dina Lohan telling Lindsay's father Michael that their daughter once punched her and kicked her out of the car. Naturally, LiLo quickly responded on Twitter and called her father a whole bunch of names. And now Papa Lohan has countered by promising to release even more tapes in the days to come. So, no, this saga is not even close to over. [P6, People]
• Alec Baldwin says he has "a great ass." Please make a note of it. [Us]
• Paul Johnson-Calderon, the bow tie-wearing social gay set to appear on Tinsley Mortimer's upcoming reality show, is in trouble again. He was caught on tape snatching purses on the LES earlier this year; now he's been caught on camera vandalizing a friend's Union Square apartment building. Calderon's defense? "It's not like rock stars don't vandalize hotel rooms and such all the time." Yes, but you're not a rock star, buddy. [P6]