Every time I drive on the New Jersey Turnpike I see one of these billboards, and every time I see one of these billboards I start getting a phantom headache. The crisp, compact jpeg here doesn't do justice to the image looming beside the highway: Clive Owen's pained gaze, caught between excesses of light and of shadow, as he shoves a lowball glass toward the viewer, like he's trying to ward something off with it.

If you love Elvis, chances are you'd love the chance to own the private crypt that once housed his corpse.

Celebrity corpses everywhere are creaking with anticipation: Forbes' "Top-Earning Dead Celebrities" list is out!

GOP presidential candidate Michele Bachmann says the reason why she confuses Elvis Presley's birthday with his death day, and Russia for the Soviet Union, and herself with John Wayne Gacy when she means John Wayne—John Wayne, guys—is because "when you speak six times a day, slip-ups can occur."

Michele Bachmann opened her event in Spartansburg, South Carolina today by wishing Elvis Presley a Happy Birthday! How nice. The thing is, Elvis died 34 years ago today. He was born in January. So all in all, a pretty typical day for Team Bachmann.

[A man inspects a Mercedes limo that was once owned by Elvis Presley and which was auctioned off along with other automotive collectibles in England today. Image via Getty]

Did you know that Elvis Presley's favorite sandwich was fried peanut butter and bananas? Fans say the King added bacon, too. Some NPR reporters decided to recreate "The Elvis," and the first bite got this reaction: "Wow, this is gross."

[Fans gathered yesterday at Graceland to mark 33 years since the "death" of Elvis Presley. Eight-year-old superfan Brandon Byrd poses here with Brazilian Elvis impersonator Mark Rio in Memphis. Image via AP]

So, the Nigerian man detained Sunday for locking himself in Northwest Flight 253's bathroom for an hour, two days after some other Nigerian tried to blow up the same flight? Definitely not a terrorist. Just a remarkably inopportune bathroom break.

Sometimes celebrity obsessions frighten even us. But usually in a good way. Witness the Elvis Presley Jumpsuit Index.
Jumpsuit search index [via MeFi]