The Thai billionaire who created popular energy drink Red Bull three decades ago has died at 89. Chaleo Yoovidhya founded T.C. Pharmaceuticals, who first developed Red Bull — or as it's known in Thailand, Krathing Daeng.

Earlier this week, the University of New Hampshire announced that it would be banning the sale of energy drinks on campus, in order to "keep its students safe." From energy, presumably. Shortest-lived dumb college banning ever!

Have the elderly people around you been acting rather crackheaded lately? Don't worry, it's not Alzheimers (yet)! They're all drinking "5 Hour Energy" shots just as fast as they can, the old coots. They'll probably die soon(er).

A groundbreaking new study in the journal Pediatrics suggests that sports and energy drinks — those high in sugar, calories and other crap — aren't really good for kids, and that parents should focus on feeding their children nutrient-rich vegetables and other foods instead. Whoa.

Brain friends! Comet comparisons! DNA crime laws! Energy drink deceptions! Monster phalanges! Space sex! It's your Monday Science Watch, where we watch science—friendlessly, endlessly, relentlessly!

This is your last chance to stock up on Four Loko: The alcoholic energy drink will be removed from store shelves by December 13.

Do you need to stay up late? Don't do this: British "partygoer" Michael Bedford took two spoonfuls of internet-purchased pure caffeine powder (70 Red Bulls' worth) and chased it with an energy drink. He collapsed, and died in the hospital.

Sum Poosie is "the Girls Gone Wild of energy drinks," "a vagina-themed cherry-flavored energy drink that will fight HIV while maintaining your erection." It's a big hit in the lesbian community. Have you tried Sum Poosie, yet?

A Kentucky man, Woody Will Smith goes on trial today for strangling his wife. But Smith's lawyer says he was "temporarily insane" and in a state of "brief psychosis" after a days-long bender of diet pills, energy drinks and sodas.

This year U.S. consumers will spend $500 million on "relaxation drinks" (like the ingeniously-titled Drank) to counteract the Red Bull, coffee, and other "energy" shit we drink. If you chug a relaxer and an energy drink simultaneously, is that speedballing?

Pussy™ Energy Drink: "Pussy is a 100% natural drink. No nasty chemicals and nothing manufactured."Pussy is Jonnie Shearer's vision. He set up from his bedroom at 21 and launched in June 2004." You can't go wrong, copywriting-wise. Pussy's not available in America, sadly. [Here, via Copyranter]

At a press conference for the 30 Days of Beauty & Fashion event in Sydney, Australia, actress/model Eva Mendes admitted that she was just the tiniest bit jet lagged from her flight. Mendes told reporters that she has a wonderful aid in fight against her jet leg: energy drinks. Mendes said, "So, right now, my body is telling me that it's Tuesday morning in Los Angeles and I should be asleep, but it's late Wednesday morning here in Sydney and according to most Aussies, I should be up being productive. So, I've had... I don't know how many energy drinks right now, but it's gotten me to the point where my body is feeing like a Tuesday night. I want to say around like 11 pm. I'll be good for a while. I'm not going to do a walkabout, but I could go shopping." Mendes also pointed out that she has an assistant on-call at all times to provide orange slices and a B-12 shot in case she crashes.

Just when you thought you'd have to settle for one of those other 23837766992753 energy drink products that don't quite reflect your lifestyle, comes the news that Playboy is finally launching its own energy drink. It has that bunny on the can, and it has energetic ingredients, and it is called "Playboy Energy Drink." The company says it gives "customers a taste of the lifestyle that has always been associated with the Playboy brand." Mmm. So what does it taste like?