Sum Poosie is "the Girls Gone Wild of energy drinks," "a vagina-themed cherry-flavored energy drink that will fight HIV while maintaining your erection." It's a big hit in the lesbian community. Have you tried Sum Poosie, yet?

Ohio resident Drayton Nas turned down a position with Red Bull back in 1996: "I felt I could make a better drink that looked better, tasted better, and mixed better with liquor." It would be hot pink and vagina-themed. Every bottle would feature a half-naked "bottle model," whose breasts you could hold in your sweaty, condensation-wetted palm. Sum Poosie was born, and has been nationally distributed (but under the radar) ever since.

According to D.C. blogger Amanda Hess, Sum Poosie is "the Mary Kay of vagina-themed energy drinks," marketed and distributed locally. D.C.'s distributor drives a hot pink Poosie mobile and hands out drinks to customers. His name is Levar Turner, but everyone calls him "the Poosie man." He discussed his snatch-themed brand with Amanda:

"Basically, it's an energy drink, but it's like the Girls Gone Wild of energy drinks," Turner explains. "There are a million and one energy drinks. We needed to stand out. What better way than with Sum Poosie?"

Indeed. In fact, the Sum Poosie brand has proved too salient to limit its aspirations to just the Red Bull market. In addition to the drinks and Turner's car, you can find the Sum Poosie logo attached to lollipops, Jello wrestling parties, the company's pink bikini-clad "Bottle Models," and Turner's rap career.

Apparently it "tastes a lot like Cherry 7-Up," and may carry a subliminal message:

Turner says that "Sum Poosie" is actually an acronym for "Subliminal Urgent Message: Positive Outlook On Sex Ignorance and Education."

As for his customers, "It's mostly a female clientele. I'm loved by a lot of the lesbians. I get a lot of love from them." Of course.

Sum Poosie energy drink promotes safe sex subliminally [TBD]
Sum Poosie energy drinks brings vaginal marketing to D.C. [TBD]
Sum Poosie Cat In a Bottle [Official Site]