Google CEO Eric Schmidt, TIME, October 2:

"CEO Eric Schmidt explains what's behind the company's new push for partnerships," promises TIME in its new article, "Google's Chief Looks Ahead." Great, because we've been wondering just that (see "Chaos theory: How to tell if a Google deal means anything" and "Deal or No Deal: Why is Google announcing so many partnerships?"). So what does Eric tell TIME?

We already know why Google announces so many useless partnerships, or at least one fringe benefit for the company, which is to signify that everyone is on its side, not Yahoo's or Microsoft's. Now Fortune Magazine reiterates: "Working with Google and grumbling about it is quite in fashion." There are so many deals and rumors of deals out there, how can anyone tell which deserve attention? Easy: Which exec made 'em?

Co-written by Beth Gottfried

• Gateway rejects an offer to sell its retail outlet from the former owner of eMachines, who also offered to buy the whole company. [MarketWatch]

• Oracle chief Larry Ellison will preach the security gospel to the choir at next year's RSA Conference. While some doubt Oracle's security expertise, everyone knows that Larry knows how to stay safe. [Silicon.com]

Let's bring all this Eric Schmidt obsession to a glorious climax by citing columnist John C. Dvorak, who says the Google CEO could, as an Apple board member, finally engineer a long-rumored merger of Apple and Sun Microsystems.

We wondered why the Spectre of Eric looked familiar — then we remembered that the Google CEO (and new Apple board member) resembled someone else in the Fruit Company's past.

Just wanted to show you the Washington Post's finest example of photojournalism. It's like one of those optical-illusion puzzles — stare at the small version of Eric, and he's adorably dorky. Stare at the giant on-screen version, and he's about to swoop down and eat your soul.

Eric Schmidt was last seen on Fire Island, where the Google CEO has been cavorting with East Coast girlfriend Marcy Simon. One reader saw him at the Albatross Restaurant. A New York Post tipster saw Schmidt at the Island Mermaid. Ten points for old-school Rat-Pack style, Schmidt — the only thing that beats getting elected to the board of another huge tech company is hearing the news while you're with your "girl on the side."

That naysayer Don Dodge, a member of Microsoft's Emerging Business Team, may have a whole impressive list of reasons that Google's CEO joining Apple's board of directors doesn't really change much. Sure, he's got a point about no money changing hands, and consumer demand is the key to any alliance, yadda yadda.

The CEO of Google (the company trying to move your desktop to the Internet) was just elected to the board of Apple (the company trying to move the Internet to your desktop). Apple already stuck Eric Schmidt on its online Board roster, under an hour after the press release hit the wires.

Folks, we've been watching the news (so you don't have to) for the first instance of a major player dropping the words "Web 3.0." It's like waiting for the President to flip the bird. And this week, Eric Schmidt did it, right in the Financial Times. The Google CEO quoth:

• A stay-at-home-dad with no time to himself wastes what precious sleep he has debunking some theory about outhouses, TiVo, and how Google CEO Eric Schmidt relates to any of the aforementioned.[Passing Notes]

As a reader reported Wednesday, Eric Schmidt occasionally skips the sink on his way out from the urinal. Now, maybe the Google CEO (seen here infecting NASA) is used to the bidet-equipped bathrooms on the Googleplex, but there's just no way to use a urinal without needing a little soap and water — if not for germs, at least for appearances.

Google's CEO is sloppy, says an attendee at the Search Engine Strategies conference. "I just took a piss next to Eric [Schmidt] from Google, and he didnt wash his hands after," says this reader from Atlanta.

Two insidery tips about the Google CEO arrived this week. Eric Schmidt's request that photographers hide pictures of him and his wife becomes so much clearer with these details. Tipster 1 says:

Google CEO Eric Schmidt went to the circus with his wife Wendy this week. Big deal. But after the event, Circus Flora's PR rep (at Schmidt's request) told local photographers to suppress any photos of the couple, says the Boston Herald. They (and we) are confused — that's a damn clumsy way to control the press.

So a few days back, Google CEO Eric Schmidt said to the press, "So, yes we are idiots — and please write that down." I forgot to cover this at Valleywag because, silly me, I thought it was just another unimportant little "look at us we're quirky and unpredictable" quote that the press would safely ignore.

Frankly, the uncanny ability of Eric Schmidt's old videos to pop up on the Internet — on Google Video no less — is making me suspect the Google CEO is doing some strategic linking. In April, everyone saw the old video of Eric taking public speaking lessons. Schmidt seems awkward but not too nerdy. Compare with this recently surfaced clip from 1986, when as a Sun VP he was the victim of an April Fools Day prank: