34-year-old Richard Leon Barton Jr. never got around to divorcing his first wife in Rhode Island. So when he married a second woman last July in Grand Rapids, Michigan, he probably should have not posted those pictures to Facebook! His first wife became suspicious when he defriended her, so she snooped around and found his "happy wedding photos with the Grand Rapids woman on the pages of Barton's friends and family," according to The Grand Rapids Press.

In an effort to make users do as little as humanly possible to blast their thoughts, Facebook has removed a crucial aspect of the commenting process: the part where you actually have to press "Comment." Now you've only got to hit the enter key, and voila! You've said, "Happy birthday, dude" to a kid you sat next to in a middle school pre-algebra class without wasting a click.

Remember the Mark Zuckerberg action figures we told you about last week? They're about to become collectors' items: M.I.C. (Made in China) Gadgets has ceased Zuckerdoll sales following a stern legal letter from Facebook's legal counsel in China:

The day after a Harlem 6th grader died during a class trip to the beach, Brooklyn elementary school teacher Christine Rubio—who has been teaching for 15 years—updated her Facebook status to this:

The Vatican next week will unveil a Facebook page for the late Pope John Paul II to promote his beatification on May 1. Monsignor Paul Tighe, the Vatican's number two man in the social media department, told the AP, "What we found is that Facebook doesn't just share information, it creates community."

Bristol Palin's new boyfriend Giacinto "Gino" Paoletti seems like a real salt-of-the-earth fellow. He's a believer, so Sarah must love him. Except he makes fun of people with Down syndrome and thinks reality TV shows about Alaska suck.

Alright: the latest Forbes' billionaire list is out. Now we can all get out our Sharpies and draw circles around which billionaires we're gonna date this year. Kidding: billionaires only date other billionaires and underwear models.

Bad timing: Just as Mark Zuckerberg's (admittedly cute) dog Beast joined Facebook, well-known Chinese activist Michael Anti (ne Zhao Jing) was booted off—his profile and hundreds of contacts vanished. The reason: Anti's use of an Westernized pen name to register his account violated Facebook's dumb, strict real name policy. "Facebook has always been based on a real name culture," is the company line.

Being a comic book hero is not enough: Mark Zuckerberg is an action figure too, courtesy of the people who created last year's Steve Jobs action figure. Note the presence of "fuck you" sandals. [MIC Gadget via Mashable]

Why is no one asking about the United States' humiliating failure to compete in the robots-with-facial-hair race? Though American scientists were at the forefront of the bearded robot revolution, a new collaboration between the Japanese company Geminoid and Danish professor Henrik Scharfe has produced the first-ever robot with a goatee (to the best of our knowledge). This is Geminoid DK, modeled on Dr. Scharfe. You should be nice! Someday, "barber for robot" will be the only job left for humans. The ones whose bodies aren't being harvested for energy by the global robo-consciousness, that is! [Geminoid DK]

Meet the newest member of the Facebook family: "Beast," a Hungarian sheepdog recently adopted by Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and his girlfriend Priscilla Chan. And, true to form, Zuckerberg has already grossly violated the poor dog's privacy by creating a Facebook page for him, complete with photographs and a bio. Did Beast even consent to this? Who filled in Beast's personal information?

A new investment in Facebook by the venture capital firm General Atlantic puts Facebook's worth at $65 billion. Just last month, Facebook was valued at a measly $50 billion by Goldman Sachs. What happened in a month to make Facebook worth $15 billion more? They probably saw Mark Zuckerberg chilling with Obama and figured there was nothing to lose.

The Egyptian Army accepted the resignation of recently appointed PM Ahmed Shafiq today, and floated the news to the public on its Facebook page. The ouster of Shafiq was a key demand of protesters.

Is a handsome young soldier currently professing his love to you on Facebook? He might be real! But probably, he's not. Especially if he's asking you to send him money. The AP reports that the fake-Facebook-soldier (or whatever the snappy conman name is) is "becoming an all-too-common ruse," in one case costing a victim $25,000. It is not a particularly sophisticated ruse, however:

Check out this sexy video by Alex Trimpe was inspired by this "Obsessed With Facebook" graphic.

Facebook has disabled Breakup Notifier, the controversial app that automatically informed you when a girl or guy you fancied changed their relationship status to single. Into the void steps WaitingRoom, which represents a massive leap in Facebook-stalking technology.

The South Korean military today sent tens of thousands of helium balloons toward North Korea with leaflets informing people there of the revolutions taking place across the Middle East and reading, "a dictatorial regime is destined to collapse," according to Bloomberg.

Canadian publisher Bluewater Productions has just published a 48-page comic book which tells the true origin story of Mark Zuckerberg. The center panel here depicts the time Zuckerberg was held up at gunpoint in 2005 while driving from Palo Alto to Berkeley. Of course, we all know what happened after that brush with danger: Zuckerberg built a bulletproof robotic exoskeleton in his basement and swore to devote his life to fighting crime. (Click to Enlarge)

When reapplying for his job at the Maryland Department of Corrections Robert Collins was told that he had to give up his Facebook username and password as part of a background check. Oh, hell no!

It looks like America's Facebooking-est failed governor has been using a fake account to shower praise on her daughter and "like" herself. And she's friends with some creepy people!