Hostess, the maker of Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, Suzy Q's, Sno Balls, Zingers, and Donettes, among other god damn delicious products, is bankrupt. For the second time in eight years. Labor costs, debt load, flour prices, blah blah blah. What will it take to save Hostess? Will it take Hostess sending out cases of its delicious products out to various popular online media sites, to "build buzz?" Now is the time to find out.

We've been writing all day about racist fast food receipts. But how could we forget sexist fast food receipts, too? Reader Diane writes:

Whoops! Mix-up at Papa John's! "Hey Papa John's, just FYI my name isn't 'lady chinky eyes.'"" ProPublica communications manager Minhee Cho helpfully Tweeted on Saturday, posting a photo of a receipt with "lady chinky eyes" listed as the name. Guess the real Lady C.E. won't be getting her pizza.

Well, this won't help Chick-fil-A appear any less bigoted: A Tumblrer d/b/a "Lolwhut" reports that his friend and an acquaintance—both of whom are Asian—stopped by a Chick-fil-A in Irvine for some sandywitches and, upon placing their orders, received these receipts referring to them as "Ching" and "Chong." The cashier's name: Rosie O'Donnell.

Wait. Wait. Two dollars for a six inch long Subway submarine sandwich???? That's even... (*counts on fingers*)... cheaper than a five dollar one foot-long Subway submarine sandwich!! Absolutely nothing can ruin our altogether genuine enthusiasm for this development!

Says here that hamburger chain restaurant Wendy's could surpass fellow hamburger chain restaurant Burger King as America's second largest hamburger chain restaurant, "as soon as this year." Wendy's, huh? I feel like it's forever since I've been there. Who are you Wendy's people?

In olden times, when Americans were forced to scavenge for food at "Supermarkets," people ate only three "meals" per day, that being the maximum number that the womenfolk could be goaded into preparing, no matter how much you beat them.

When nighttime snacker Shanaya Edgell visited a Wisconsin McDonald's at 3 AM in search of a cheeseburger, they told her she couldn't have her cheeseburger because it was breakfast menu time, come back later for cheeseburgers, sorry!!! For Edgell, this was totally unacceptable.

Fast food is a luxury these days. Fast food chains can no longer just set up a plastic lean-to on the side of any major highway and expect Americans to flock in for 99-cent anus burgers; now, they have to convince impoverished Americans that their "Val-U Men-U" items were prepared by a real live chef.

The conventional wisdom is that since obesity rates are so high among the poorest Americans, that fast food is the grease-and-ketchup-soaked engine driving them upwards. But a new study on food consumption from UC Davis medical school got surprising results: It found that middle- and upper-middle income earners are the ones gobbling up the most Big Macs, Whoppers, and that artisanal pork log known as the McRib.

Let's just dig into the Florida news here and pull out a typical Florida news story, at random: Aha. Two young men in Lake City were thinking entrepreneurially last week:

Once upon a time, McDonald's sold a nasty porkish meat sandwich called the McRib, featuring all of the entrails that fell on the floor of the slaughterhouse pressure-formed into a pleasing "rib" shape. The McRib's variegated bouquet of grease flavor and resemblance to a bloody giant slug corpse naturally made it a "cult favorite," meaning "staple of the American diet." Now it is back. You greasy, greasy bastards.

KFC made headlines last year with the "Double Down," which was like a grilled cheese, except with fried chicken instead of bread. Oh, and bacon. But that was 2010! The fast food chain's latest heart attack-ready meal? The "Cheesy Bacon Bowl," which improves upon the existing mush of fried chicken, cheese, corn, and mashed potatoes with gravy known as the "Famous Bowl," and adds a bunch of bacon. Because screw your stupid arteries. [via Eater]

To the illustrious and soul-deadening genre of McDonalds Beatings Caught on Tape, we can add this: the one where two irate customers jump the counter so the McDonald's cashier runs in the back and fetches and metal rod and beats the hell out both of them, but the cashier was a man who just spent a decade in prison for manslaughter and the customers were both women so there really aren't any folk heroes here, folks.

Today we did some more handwringing about how fat our kids are going to get from all that fast food. How to get them to stop eating that crap? One commenter has an interesting strategy.

You may think that you're one of those "good" parents. You read to your kids at night, and you don't let them play with guns, and you stripped most of the lead paint out of the playroom. Well, according to the latest scientific study, it's safe to give up. Your kids will inevitably die of McChicken-related diabetes sooner or later, no matter what you do.

Americans are not the sort of slobs who are satisfied with simply consuming a drab, tasteless burger in a hobo-infested fast food restaurant hastily rebranded as a "cafe." Americans are the sort of slobs who want their burgers fast—but casual. Americans want a slightly wider selection of toppings available on their burgers, and they want to consume those burgers in a very slightly more attractive setting than a Burger King bathroom. Americans demand this!

Here's a little forensics test for the Encyclopedia Browns among you. A woman is dead. The killer is a McDonald's soda fountain. That's all we know — so how did it happen? (No cheating. And no helping the others if you already know!)

Remember the KFC Double Down? Sure you do. It was that terrible and probably delicious monstrosity that replaced bread with fried chicken and your arteries with chaos. Well, welcome to 2011, where the Double Down is a thing of the past. Denny's has launched their new, "Let's Get Cheesy" menu, and nary a calorie was spared. Eight of the nine items on the menu have more calories than the Double Down and all can be ordered with "extra ooze." Two oozes on the side, please.

Major fast food chains generally prefer to have kiddie touchers for mascots. But trend-setting Burger King has had enough with its "creepy" king. Get ready to experience what one expert calls "the Whole Foods effect":