fast-food
It Took Taco Bell Ten Weeks to Sell 100 Million Doritos Locos Tacos (UPDATE)
Neetzan Zimmerman · 06/04/12 03:55PMThis Week Has Been a Good Week for Finding Things in Food that Don't Belong There
Neetzan Zimmerman · 05/18/12 04:30PMAround the same time that Ryan Hart was spitting out his Arby's junior roast beef (now with extra human finger), Redditor LinkBoyJT was biting into his order of hash browns from McDonald's. Just before consuming the last morsel of his King Size french fry, he says he suddenly "felt something on the bottom."
Does Fear of Eating Human Finger Parts Lessen Your Enjoyment of Arby's Roast Beef?
Hamilton Nolan · 05/18/12 08:31AMThe McBaguette: A Frenchman's Review
Caity Weaver · 04/23/12 07:54PMChicken or the Gays: Make a Choice About Eating Chick-fil-A
cord jefferson · 04/19/12 02:45PMIf they gave a Pulitzer Prize for waffling, this piece from the Washington City Paper last week might have won it. In it, food editor Chris Shott spends several hundred words pondering whether a person who is not a homophobe can in good conscience eat at Chick-fil-A, the Atlanta-based fast-food chain and purveyor of those dumbass cow ads. Chick-fil-A's nonprofit arm, the WinShape Foundation, has for years donated millions to anti-gay Christian groups like Focus on the Family, which once warned Americans, "[T]he homosexual agenda is a beast."
Ranch Dressing Is America's Only Condiment
Hamilton Nolan · 04/05/12 08:56AMUnwrap your lips from your processed Cheez-Delivery Snack'm Tube-Brand Corn Snaxxx and pay attention, America. This is important. Sure, you've been doing your best to consume your annual 137-gallon allotment of high fructose corn syrup, and your 92 pounds of Cheez annually. But do your standard condiments contain a sufficient amount of saturated fat and artificial flavors? Or could you be doing more?
Japan Loves Pizza So Much
Hamilton Nolan · 04/03/12 09:09AMWendy’s Overthrows Burger King; Rivers Run Red with the Blood of Burger Nobles
Caity Weaver · 03/20/12 10:43PMMcDonald’s Takes Fries Off the Dollar Menu; I Freak Out
Caity Weaver · 03/09/12 01:18AMMcDonald's Assures Chinese: Our Food Is Not Poison
Hamilton Nolan · 02/29/12 03:17PMChina: the "Far East," where four thousand years of cultural evolution has culminated in a battle to see whether The Mighty P'zone™ or the Big N' Tasty™ will become the national meal of choice. McDonald's has an outside-the-box new advertising strategy to woo the wary Chinese: telling them that McDonald's food is not a monstrous blight upon the concept of dining.
The CEO of Pizza Hut Took His Dates to Pizza Hut
Hamilton Nolan · 02/27/12 10:17AMFast Food Workers Say They 'Make the World a Worse Place'
Hamilton Nolan · 02/20/12 03:02PMPeople Don't Think McDonald's Has Good Food
Hamilton Nolan · 02/20/12 01:15PMWendy's Denies Using Aborted Human Fetuses in Its Food
Max Read · 02/01/12 03:08PMDoes Wendy's use aborted human fetuses in its food? When we conducted our groundbreaking investigation into the issue last week, we were forced to put the fast food company in the "possibly contains fetuses" category when our queries didn't receive a response. But now our our noble and relentless quest for the truth has paid off.
Taco Bell Now Offering Morning Meal of Space Food and Semen Nuggets
Hamilton Nolan · 01/27/12 10:02AMTaco Bell is not going to be serving breakfast. That would be gross. Taco Bell is serving First Meal. It's the meal that comes after Fourth Meal. It's a meal that you eat at about the same time that you would eat breakfast, but which bears no resemblance to the "food" that normal humans would consume, for "breakfast." Observe:
Which Companies Are Using Aborted Human Fetuses in Their Food?
Max Read · 01/25/12 06:12PMSoCal City To McDonald's: Get Off My Super Healthy Lawn
Bobby Finger · 01/22/12 01:25PMHome Delivery of Fast Food Is the Inevitable Next Step
Hamilton Nolan · 01/17/12 11:15AMDamn Canadians Are Winning the Coffee Cup Size War
Hamilton Nolan · 01/17/12 09:40AM"Fuck you, Starbucks, you American pussies." That is what we imagine Canadian coffee and donut chain Tim Hortons to be anthropomorphically saying today, adding in an "Eh?" at the end in stereotypical sneering Canadian style. Are we going to sit around as some Canadian fucks have cups that hold a larger amount of coffee than ours do? Eh?