fast-food

Mom Finds Nose Ring In Daughter's McDonald's Breakfast Burrito

Taylor Berman · 12/02/12 09:26PM

If you order anything from McDonald's breakfast menu aside from hot cakes or some sort of biscuit sandwich, you deserve to be disappointed and/or disgusted. That said, no ordering mishap, not even one as egregious as that, merits the discovery of a nose ring in your breakfast burrito.

Looking for the Revolution Outside a Wendy's in Brooklyn

Hamilton Nolan · 11/29/12 03:20PM

By 11:30 this morning, several dozen people wrapped in winter coats and wielding hand-drawn posters had assembled on the corner in front of the Wendy's on the Fulton Mall in downtown Brooklyn, across from the Modell's and the Bank of America, with the purpose of addressing that most fascinating question in labor relations: Can fast food workers ever be unionized? Here, in New York, today, a lot of fast food workers decided to skip the theory and proceed directly to the "Fuck you, pay me" phase of the process.

The Future of Food Is Williamsburg, Basically

Hamilton Nolan · 11/12/12 12:12PM

There was a time, Ad Age tells us, when canned soup or cereal were considered "easy" foods to prepare and consume. Can you imagine? The package-opening, the pouring-out, the adding of milk or water—if that was "easy," people in the olden days must have had it rough! Kids these days know better. For America's Greatest Generation—the Millennials—the future of food is a simple process of raising the Tater Stuffer™ from the rotating 7-11 heating case into one's mouth in one smooth, painless motion.

Taco Bell Pushes 'Will They Really Eat This Shit?' Campaign Even Further

Hamilton Nolan · 11/08/12 10:19AM

Dog food repurposing factory Taco Bell, which is in the process of becoming "upscale" in the sense of "selling food with a greater number of ingredients than a bean burrito," is rolling out some new Snaxxx that are perfectly suited to the sensitive and ever-evolving American palate. In the sense of "containing a quantity of carbohydrates sufficient to sustain a camel's complete journey through the harsh Sahara Desert."

The Choice of a Fast Food Restaurant Is a Very Meaningful Choice

Hamilton Nolan · 10/11/12 03:15PM

Fast food restaurants: do you think they're "all the same?" Sure, and I guess human beings are "all the same" too, right? That's what Hitler thought, as well. For the rest of you, who know better, America's fast food establishments beseech you to take into considerations all the important factors relevant to your choice of a casual dining establishment. Once you purchase that McGriddle, there's no going back for a Croissanwich. This choice is forever.

Is This the Dumbest Fast Food Sandwich Ever?

Neetzan Zimmerman · 06/27/12 11:12AM

KFC has quite literally topped itself in the dumb sandwich department with the introduction of its latest napkin industry tie-in, the Cheese Top Burger.

Fried Chicken Chips Combine America's Three Greatest Passions

Hamilton Nolan · 06/13/12 08:28AM

If the average American had his way, every item that he encountered on a day-to-day basis—cars, household appliances, furniture, children—would be breaded, fried, and then cut into "chip" size for purposes of snacking convenience. Also, all of the aforementioned things would be made of chicken. The great folks in the fast food industry are doing everything in their power to make this "American Dream" come true.