Mountain Men: The Sundance Film Festival broke out its non-competition selections for 2009 this afternoon, a starrier, funkier twist on yesterday's slate of barbershop docs and Pierce Brosnan weepies. At the top is Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor's gay prison romance I Love You Philip Morris, which we've been anticipating since first spying Carrey's frolicsome South Beach sojourn. Richard Gere, Ethan Hawke and Don Cheadle will be around for the cop drama Brooklyn's Finest, while Billy Bob Thornton is bringing two films — the Bret Easton Ellis adaptation The Informers (also with Winona Ryder and Mickey Rourke — stay off the slopes, guys!) and the crap-salesman comedy Manure. Robin Williams, Uma Thurman, Ashton Kutcher, Kevin Spacey, Zooey Deschanel and Kristen Stewart bring up the rear; here's hoping Winona leaves them their gift bags. [SFF]

· As a disappointing™ Sundance limps towards the finish line, buyers are proving immune to the charms of Big Name Stars like Robert DeNiro and Tom Hanks, whose films (What Just Happened and The Great Buck Howard) have "held all of the appeal of three-day-old fish." [Variety]
· Sundance? More like Stunned'dance, quips the Reporter as the sound of a rimshot slowly fades into the eerie quiet of Park City's Main Street. Are we right, ladies? [THR]
· Universal signs Atonement's Joe Wright, red-hot from seven Oscar nominations (though not one for directing; thanks, Jason Reitman!) to a two-picture deal. [Variety]
[After the jump: Marvel and the WGA make nice on an interim basis; Disney tries to squeeze even more money out of the Toy Story franchise.]

Has Sundance "gone Hollywood"? Of course it has! But for those clinging to the belief that Park City is anything other than a weeklong gifting suite that screens independent films to kill time in between agency parties, and who are looking for a fresh excuse to get outraged about the festival's commercialism, have a look at their shiny new online store—where people can—gasp!—buy things bearing the Sundance brand: "'They can't really claim to be 'art house' if they're basically operating a Disney Store online,' said one top film critic who asked to remain anonymous, fearing reprisals.'" [Page Six]

· Tom Cruise's career as a studio mogul is off to an inauspicious start, as poor box office results for Lions for Lambs suggest he hasn't quite cultivated the hitmaking instincts MGM believed he had when they handed him United Artists. Next up: Tom tries to kill Hitler! [Variety]
· Entertainment companies are facing a difficult choice as the year draws to a close: Should they continue on with their holiday party plans despite the presence of nearby striking writers, pelting them with cocktail weenies and cups of eggnog purchased with money they're saving on internet residual payments? Or should they shut down their galas, recognizing the economic hardships brought about by the work stoppage? For its part, Fox will continue on with a somewhat scaled-down version of the weenie-and-eggnog assault plans, as Rupert Murdoch was especially looking forward to drenching a couple of strikers himself. [THR]

Following a Savannah Film Festival event at which Brett Ratner was named Rush Hour Sequel Director of the Year by the fest's blue-ribbon panel, the flattered fauxteur decided to take the students in attendance out for a crash course on the only aspect of the cinematic arts he's truly mastered: the part where one hands over all of his footage to an editor, tells him, "Make a movie out of this, would ya, bro?," then embarks on a celebratory search for a titty bar: "Ratner wasn't finished answering the students' questions when the party ended, and led at least a dozen on a pub crawl which involved a caravan of cabs crossing the bridge to South Carolina in search of a topless bar open in the wee hours of Monday morning. It was a valiant, misguided quest, but the students won't soon forget their seminar with Ratner." [P6]

Faster than you can say "Dakota Fanning Rape Project," the Toronto Film Festival screenings of Alan Ball's Nothing is Private should produce a level of buzz-building, pre-acquisition outrage unseen since the first reports that universally beloved/feared child star Fanning's cinematic virtue would be stolen at the 2006 edition of Sundance. Outraged Fox 411 gossip columnist Roger Friedman previews his early candidate for Feel-Awful Movie of 2007, in which Aaron Eckhart, perhaps overcompensating for the guilt of cashing his No Reservations paycheck, returns to the darker In the Company of Men/Your Friends & Neighbors material of his early career:

· The trades mourn the recent silencing of their favorite of the Three Tenors. [Variety, THR] [THR]
· Scott Rudin beats out Warner Bros, Universal, Sony, and New Line for the movie rights to the historical novel I, Claudius, with Leo DiCaprio and his The Departed screenwriter William Monahan expected to jump ship from their failed WB bid to join the winning Rudin team. [Variety]
· The Agent Dance, East Coast Edition: NY-based CAA bigshot Bart Walker leaves the evil agenting monolith to form a talent management division at indie film powerhouse Cinetic. We expect reports of the mysterious torching of Walker's apartment to emerge shortly. [THR]
· Apple and Hollywood still can't decide whether to fuck or fight. [Variety]
· Studio execs head into the Toronto Film Festival with "fat wallets and a healthy appetite for product," ready to snap up any movie they think might make a buck during a possible strike by the guilds. [Variety]

· Starz tries its hand at scripted programming, hoping not to jar viewers expecting to see famous faces on their rerun movies by centering its strategy around two celeb-driven half-hour comedies: one about a house-renovating TV show and one about a shrink-to-the-affordable-celebrity-guest-stars. [Variety]
· Endeavor welcomes fussy Six Feet Under funeral director and Dexter psychopath Michael C. Hall into the family. [THR]
· The just-concluded Telluride Film Festival snags 12 world premieres, including Dylan biopic I'm Not There and Noah Baumbach's Margot at the Wedding. [Variety]
· Perhaps tiring of hearing about how Jason Bourne could easily kick James Bond's ass, the producers of Bond 22 bring on Bourne franchise action designer Dan Bradley as their second unit director. [THR]
· ABC promises that it will hire a fifth View co-host soon, probably before Elizabeth Hasselbeck leaves to pop out the baby she's seemingly been carrying for two years. [THR]

We were curious about the Fuck Yeah Fest the second we heard of it, imagining an orgy of hipsters joyously screaming — a la Team America's famous anthem — their blue approval of everything from skinny jeans on dudes (FUCK YEAH!) to t-shirts with ironic slogans about how stupid t-shirts with ironic slogans are (FUCK YEAH!). So Defamer videographer Molly McAleer vowed to get to the bottom of the Fuck Yeah ethos, and here's what she found: a disconsolate fanboy crushed that he didn't get a warm embrace by the band leader he is stalking traveled hours to see, and two dudes discussing not only their feelings... but their feelings about Kathy Griffin. For an underground fest that allegedly makes Sunset Junction look like Wango Tango, that's pretty fucking disappointing, actually.

· The TV Academy continues cracking down on "the rampant proliferation of the producer credit" by capping comedy series Emmy nominations at 11 and drama nods at 10 for a second straight year. How bad had things gotten? "Business affairs execs and studios were giving people producing credits just because they could," says one nameless Academy official. This outrage ends now. [Variety]
· The Toronto Film Festival officially surrenders to Hollywood. [THR]
· We hate to do this after just one episode, but when the trades are throwing around words like "dismal" to describe a new show's ratings, the CancellationWatch must begin: Fox's Anchorwoman draws only 2.7 million viewers and a 1.0 rating in the 18-49 demographic, less than half of the numbers pulled by competition on NBC and CBS. [Variety]
· Buy your tickets now: Rosie O'Donnell will be opening the New York Comedy Festival. You won't want to miss what she's got planned for that giant photo Elizabeth Hasselbeck this time! [THR]
· In a much-clamored-for reunion of Shrek the Third castmates, Justin Timberlake is joining the cast of Mike-Myers-doing-a-funny-accent-comedy Love Guru. [Variety]

· Cannes update: Films receiving early praise at Cannes include the Coen brothers' No Country For Old Men, the abortion drama 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, and Zodiac, which feels like it was released in America three years ago. You may now return to not caring about what's going on in France (unless it involves Jerry Seinfeld in a bee suit. That was so awesome!) [Variety]
· Because we know that you can't sleep if you don't know what Julia Roberts is up to: She's set to star in a movie based on the the life of African wildlife conservationist Joan Root. Or have more babies and take another five years off from the demands of being Hollywood's Biggest Female Star, depending on her mood. [THR]
· The Emmys are "one step closer" to moving from the Shrine to the shiny new Nokia Theater being built downtown, a change of venue that the TV Academy promises won't have any impact on the show's reliably low entertainment value. [Variety]
· The season finales of Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters overcome token competition from the other networks, giving ABC an underwhelming Sunday night ratings victory. [THR]
· Var provides possibly unreliable evidence that Goldie Hawn is still alive. [Variety]

· Oh, right: The CW also announced its Fall schedule. Veronica Mars fans, grab your pitchforks and torches, because your favorite show's not on it. But maybe the pick-up of Gossip Girl will make you feel better about things? [Variety]
· 300's Gerard Butler will star in Game, a near-future dystopian thriller in which people control other people in "mass-scale, multiplayer online" games, with Butler playing a warrior who tries to "regain his identity and bring down the system that has imprisoned him." Pitch: The Running Man meets The Matrix meets Second Life, sort of. [THR]
· Remember those scenes in Heat where Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro appeared together? If that gave you a moviegasm, you're probably not going to be able to handle Righteous Kill, a feature-length act-off between the stars of Two for the Money and Meet the Fockers. [Variety]
· David Fincher circumvented his "no more serial killer movies" rule for Zodiac by thinking of it as a "newspaper movie in which I get to torture Jake Gyllenhaal for the last two hours." [THR]
· Cannes attempts to spice up its opening night by eschewing its usual sit-down dinner in favor of allowing guests to roam the room with their cocktails, ingesting finger foods as needed to avoid passing out. [Variety]

It should surprise no one to discover that launching a film at the Cannes festival is an absurdly expensive proposition, as the overseas export of Hollywood's auto-fellating promotional machinery requires the transport, lodging, and constant pampering of scores of entitiled executives, talent, and hangers-on pressed into movie-pimping duty. (Publicists and other support staff, of course, sleep 30 to a motel room and subsist only on the croissant crumbs they brush off their betters' tuxedo lapels on the red carpet.) In looking at the costs associated with properly debuting at Cannes, the LAT notes that at least one maverick studio is doing what it can to halt the budget-destroying insanity:

· Grey's Anatomy star Isaiah Washington considerately spares the TV Academy the trouble of ignoring him come Emmy nomination time by withdrawing his name from awards consideration. His time in gayhab obviously taught him an important lesson about transparent expressions of publicist-encouraged humility. [Variety]
· More Speed Racer casting news we can't really get excited about: Matthew Fox is close to signing on to join the project as nemesis Racer X. [THR ]
· The lineup for the Cannes Film Festival is jam-packed with U.S. movies both in competition (with entries by Tarantino, David Fincher, and the Coen Brothers) and on the premiere schedule (Ocean's 13), giving the French ample opportunity to alternately boo American cultural imperialism and offer standing ovations inspired by the sight of George Clooney in a tuxedo. [Variety]
· Hitch and I Now Pronounce You Fake Gay Husbands, Now Punch Out That Guy Before Someone Thinks You're Really A Homo star Kevin James embraces his typecasting as a lovable schlub, entering negotiations to play an "average guy" who inherits some land that turns out to be its own country in One Nation Under Bob. [THR]
· Rumors are circulating that NBC might not renew the original Law & Order unless creator Dick Wolf figures out a way to fire his entire cast and produce each episode on a budget of $100 or less. [Variety]

· Showtime is positively atwitter about heavily promoted costume drama The Tudors' 1.2 million premiere night viewers (over two showings), a number representing the network's biggest debut success since Fat Actress kicked off its tragically short-lived run of three years ago. [Variety]
· Adam Sandler, already over the "dressing like Bob Dylan and moping around" phase of his career, will star in a Disney comedy directed by former choreographer Adam Shankman, Bedtime Stories. [THR]
· Fox's Idol tries to lure timeslot rivals into a false sense of hope by pulling in a smaller-than-usual rating, though one still large enough to crush its competition by a comfortable margin. [Variety]
· The Tribeca Film Festival happily whores itself out to Sony by allowing the studio to premiere Spider-Man 3 at their event on April 30. To its credit, however, the organization did reject an earlier proposal to temporarily rename itself the "The Spider-Man 3 Film Festival of Tribeca" as "too crass." [THR]
· Paul Haggis' The Black Donnellys takes the next step towards "official" cancellation, as NBC has pulled the show from its airwaves effective immediately. [Variety]

Today's NY Times story on the films entered into competition at the 2007 Sundance Festival Of Film, Open Bars, And Swag Suites updated us on the journey of a project we first heard about in July, back when it was struggling for financing to complete the shoot and the agent of its talented, pre-teen star was raving about how proud she was of her client's ability to convincingly portray the violent taking of her innocence:

In easily the strangest TV news of the day, NBC signs up Jon Lovitz to star in the unscripted comedy Bad
Judge, in which he will play a "heightened" version of himself (read: encouraged to constantly lapse into his old SNL characters) who hands out unfair—but hilarious!—decisions in real legal cases. [Variety]
NBC's premiere of its new block of Must See Shows With Numbers in Their Titles TV fails to excite audiences, as 30 Rock and 20 Good Years finish third in their respective timeslots. It's starting to look like viewers won't support even a single behind-the-scenes-of-a-sketch-comedy-show series, much less one each from the sitcom and drama genres. [THR]
Noted North Korean cin aste Kim Jong Il's testing of his new nuclear toys isn't stopping stop film executives and journalists from attending the Pusan Film Fest in South Korea, Asia's most important film event. [Variety]
· In other TV-shows-with-numbers-in-the-title news, CBS will give recently cancelled Smith's Tuesday night timeslot to 3 Lbs., its hunky-neurosurgeon drama starring noted boob-tube albatross Mark Feuerstein. His involvement requires us to predict that it will be off the air after no more than five episodes. [THR]
Fox TV Studios nabs the rights to make The Devil Wears Prada for TV, which they'll develop for their broadcast mothership as a single-camera comedy they envision as "like Ugly Betty, but much better looking." [Variety]

Nearly every actor who has found success in Hollywood has endured enough professional humiliation to have developed mental strategies to deal with the psychic distress associated with the near-constant stream of rejection experienced during their "dues paying" phase. For example, when confronted with the upsetting circumstance of being booed during the Cannes Film Festival premiere of Marie Antoinette, star Kirsten Dunst merely deflected the criticism with a culturally based rationalization:

Heroes premieres strong, beating CBS's comedy block of Two and a Half Men and Old Christine. Meanwhile, Studio 60 was down 16 percent from its premiere, a ratings drop-off that might force Aaron Sorkin to finally address the network's note that he find a way to replace Bradley Whitford's cocaine addiction with a superpower. [Variety]
Fox's new series are already "fading fast," (yup, sure seems that way), but no network really seems to have a breakout hit so far. [THR]
Once the season earmarked for Oscar contenders, the Fall is now ruled by horror franchises and genital-torture comedies. [Variety]
· Hollywood PanderingWatch: The Governator assures his entertainment industry friends that his reelection will give them a "built-in lobbyist" in office. To his credit, he did stop short of promising state subsidizes to guarantee all locally produced movies have healthy opening weekends. [THR]
North Korea's Pyongyang Film Festival continues to bar Hollywood movies or stars from its competition, a slight that will eventually be used as justification for a full-scale American invasion of the country. [Variety]

When we guessed that Sacha Baron Cohen's grand entrance to the aborted Borat premiere on a wench-drawn carriage would "probably prove to be the only truly interesting thing that will emerge from the Toronto Film Festival," we obviously had no idea that a triple murder would eventually spice up the event: