Here's something else to know about San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom, besides the gay marriage advocacy and the hair gel and the preggers, softcore-porn-acting wife and the fameball cousins: His press secretary makes pot jokes.

Yesterday we asserted that former Bush roboflackMale Ari Fleischer was America's most irrelevant talking head. Today, however, we learned that former Bush roboflackFemale Dana Perino is joining forces with Microtrend maker-upper Mark Penn. Revision:

After gay-themed titles disappeared from Amazon.com's search results this weekend, everyone looked for someone to blame. One hacker took credit. Some faulted an Amazon engineer in France. One source thinks it was the Conficker worm.

Is there any more irrelevant talking head in America than Ari Fleischer, Bush's former roboflack? His only skill was obfuscating on behalf of important people. Now he doesn't work for anyone important. Except himself!

(UPDATED) After stripping sales rankings from a variety of gay-themed books, from romance novels to histories, Amazon.com now blames "a glitch" for the changes and promises a fix. Good luck selling that line.

Fox News analyst Thomas McInerney bizarrely twisted today's pirate attack to cheerlead for a pricey fighter the Obama administration plans to cancel. Is that because he's been paid by a contractor on the plane?

Hello, what is Ronn [sic] Torossian's wacky PR firm, 5WPR, doing now? They're flacking for a pyramid scheme, reportedly! That's just nice. As Ronn says, "Times such as these are no time for ego."

Felix Salmon got one of those world famous 5W press releases, which, excitingly, contained the solution to America's unemployment woes:

A more cocksure man might have played along, but Graydon Carter's tenure atop Vanity Fair has apparently taught him the danger of hype and high expectations, so he's denied a flattering sex story.

After Chis Brown pled not guilty to assaulting Rihanna in a Los Angeles courtroom Monday, Rihanna's attorney said something peculiar: The apparent victim of Brown's attack would like to bring the case to a rapid conclusion.

Marcy Simon, the former mistress of Google CEO Eric Schmidt, has landed a PR gig at Mark Penn's Burson-Marsteller. We hear her new job is stirring up antitrust trouble for Google at Microsoft's behest.

In recent weeks, the New York Times started punching back at many of its critics, breaking with a longstanding tradition of staying above the fray. Today, that new strategy backfired.

CNET gadget reviewer Bonnie Cha is mad as hell, and she's not going to take it anymore! Why? Palm won't let her place both hands on a prototype of its iPhone-smashing Pre smartphone.

How did OctoMom get so much good press, making her America's sweetheart? By having the sales manager at All American Real Estate Mortgage Co. in La Habra, California as her publicist:

Fox News Channel's Greta Van Susteren would have been fine if she'd stopped her Sunday morning blog post after the first paragraph, which said she is not her husband. But she didn't. Of course.

Is Tesla Motors mad that Digg founder Kevin Rose spoiled the launch of its Model S sedan by leaking photos on Flickr? Yes and no, depending on who you ask at the ailing electric-car startup.

Former MSNBC host Dan Abrams, not content with running his shady new conflict-of-interest-laden PR firm for working journalists, now wants to start up his very own "'Drudge meets The Huffington Post' site." Oh good.

Producers still want vengeance against Jeremy Piven for dropping out of Speed the Plow due to "mercury poisoning." They've been thwarted once, and the actor now claims history and Hope are on his side.

Your Press Release of the Day adeptly communicates the fact that fine cigars are all about taste. The taste of Monica Lewinsky's pussy, yea!

Yesterday was Perez Hilton's 31st birthday! His star-studded birthday bash will be March 28th at LA's "iconic" Viper Room. And here's how his marketing firm is trying to sell people sponsorships of this once-in-Perez's-lifetime affair:

The discontent among Beltway-prestigious news outlets is reportedly palpable: Barack Obama didn't call on the New York Times, Washington Post or Wall Street Journal tonight, but did call on a bunch of hippie freaks.