Last week saw the successful debut of Gawker’s first podcast: “Food on Franklin.” Today brings another week, and with it, a new episode of this podcast to listen to.

Now there is a product for sale called “Protein Cheerios” and—surprise—it is not a good source of protein, for you, the consumer.

Next time you order mediocre drunken noodles from that generic-sounding restaurant that pops up first when you type “Thai” into the Seamless search bar, you should know that you may receive mediocre drunken noodles from a different generic-sounding Thai restaurant altogether—and that the one you ordered from may not exist at all.

The “podcast revolution” is sweeping the media. Now, we bring you Gawker’s first and best podcast: Food on Franklin.

According to what I’ve been reading, the year is 2015, and men are still refusing to eat pussies. What are you—crazy?

Chipotle’s signature Halloween “Boorito” came with an extra-scary addition this holiday season: pathogenic strains of E. coli, a bacterium that can be fatal in some cases.

The World Health Organization has given vegetarians all of the ammo we need to win every argument from now on about nasty meat—which gives you cancer.

So there were rats in the restaurant. Okay. You’ll be fine!!!

There’s an old joke that goes something like: “Boy, the food at this place is really terrible,” says one Subway customer to another. “Yeah, I know,” says the second guy, “and such small portions.” Well, those two customers really exist, and they sued the company for false advertising back in 2013. In an attempt to finally settle the case this week, Subway agreed to start measuring its footlong sandwiches to make sure they really live up to their names.

It’s no fun being locked in federal prison, but now prisoners can take heart in the fact that they will be served pork, even though they said they do not want to be served pork.

America’s favorite fast food nightmare burger now comes with a limited-time bonus side dish in the form of mild digestive problems. To match the spooky black bun of the Halloween Whopper, customers’ excrement has been turning an equally spooky shade of green.

The San Diego Humane Society is now offering to the public 29 fresh, juicy dogs, specially raised for their succulence.

Sometime this month, the world woke up and discovered it was no longer enamored with the Fat Jew, a collector of other people’s jokes best known for submerging himself in large vats of food. The fallout was quick—he’s already lost a TV development deal with Comedy Central and a gig with Seamless. But things can always get worse, and indeed they have: now even food wants nothing to do with his toxic brand.

“When Did It Become OK For A $12 Sandwich Not To Come With A Side?” Wow—I could not agree more.

Acting on the orders of President Vladimir Putin, Russian officials destroyed hundreds of tons of banned Western foodstuffs on Thursday, including piles of cheese, pork and peaches, The New York Times reports.

This week, Dunkin’ Donuts opened its very first store in Iceland. “‘I love the variety they offer,’ said Steinar Gunnarsson, a student, who visited the restaurant soon after it opened. ‘They offer more than just a couple of brands of donuts usually found in Icelandic bakeries.’” Pathetic.

STOP. You there, with the American cheese—yes, you, the American. Hold it right there.

Mustard-colored mustard merchant McDonald’s cares about kids, to the extent that kids can whine enough to convince their parents to take them to McDonald’s. McDonald’s: heroic, or most heroic?

Texas agriculture commissioner Sid Miller has lifted a state ban on deep fryers and soda machines in schools, saying “We want families, teachers and school districts to know the Texas Department of Agriculture supports their decisions and efforts to teach Texas students about making healthy choices.” Hick.

Last year, Burger King Japan brought back its bizarre Kuro Burger—a black burger with black sauce and black cheese—for the third year in a row. I ate it, and it tasted slightly better than it looked (not saying much). The Kuro Burger is coming back again this year, but BK Japan is also trying out a new freakshow sandwich: The AKA (Red) Samurai burger, featuring a blood-red bun and cheese, and red ANGRY sauce.