food

Hamilton Nolan · 06/11/15 10:55AM

Wow, big time panic, egg prices have skyrocketed to an all-time high: as much as $3 a dozen. Oh my god, crisis, this means that eggs are... still cheap as hell! Cheapest protein on the market, folks. Eggs—still a great deal!

Hamilton Nolan · 05/18/15 10:32AM

Hamdi Ulukaya, the recently demoted CEO of garbage yogurt company Chobani, is now focusing his efforts on “developing new products like Flips, a yogurt with toppings on the side.” The only way that could be a more blatant ripoff of Fage would be if Chobani also tasted good.

Science Watch: A "Web" of Deceit

Hamilton Nolan · 05/08/15 02:05PM

Healthy eats! Echo ears! Thunder pictures! Alien sounds! Head-volution! Space geysers! Spider silk! And statistics that some might call stunning! It’s your Friday Science Watch, where we watch science—with X-Ray Vision!

Nightmare Roommate Caught on Camera Spitting In and Windexing Food

Aleksander Chan · 05/05/15 11:10AM

Twenty-two-year-old Hayley King, a University of South Carolina student, was arrested by police last week after confessing to having spit in and dousing her roommates’ food with Windex. She was charged with unlawful and malicious tampering with human drug product or food, and could face 20 years in prison if convicted.

What Is Your Hometown's Most Disgusting Delicacy?

Andy Cush · 04/23/15 03:02PM

As Americans, we are all partisans for the oddities and specialties of our own local cuisines. You can get a bagel anywhere, but only in New York are they great; you’re lucky to find a Goo Goo Cluster at all outside of Nashville. But the good stuff is boring—what makes your stomach turn?

Modern Day Hamlet Finds Skull-Shaped Chip, Good Reminder We'll All Die

Dayna Evans · 04/22/15 03:30PM

Death is everywhere. Death is in the stars. Death is in our hearts. Death is in our headlines, our houses, and our food. Thought you could crack open a “packet of cheese and onion crisps” without staring down at your inevitable mortality? That’s what Dorset, England’s Barry Selby thought, too. But he was majorly wrong.

NYPD Stealing Mad Churros??

Hamilton Nolan · 04/06/15 03:00PM

It's bad enough that the "broken windows theory" of policing, with its constant harassment of small-time hustlers, is back in vogue in New York City. Do they have to steal the churros, too?

Cheez Is Healthy, For the Right Price

Hamilton Nolan · 03/24/15 08:53AM

Though I enjoy a good slice of American Cheez Food Product as much as the next unsophisticated child, I would not be so bold as to declare that product to be "healthy." Prestigious nutritionists bound to differ!

Foods That Aren't Good Cold

Hamilton Nolan · 03/16/15 01:20PM

Some foods, like pizza, are good hot, and still good cold. Other foods are okay hot, but are not good cold. This is a list of the latter group of foods.

Milk to Get Worse

Dayna Evans · 03/05/15 11:50AM

When you think of liquids that you'd like to guzzle, does milk make it into your top ten? How about top fifty? Would you like to strike gallons of milk from grocery store shelves and watch as they bleed out into oblivion? Sure you would. Skrrtt—but wait a sec. What if I told you milk could taste like marshmallow Peeps?

Fancy NYC Eatery Traumatizes Woman With Fresh Fish Served Hook Still In

Andy Cush · 02/11/15 01:47PM

Fancy food: it is a funny thing. One person might not understand why another might enjoy eating tortured goose liver or snails, and the other might say, "Mmm, I love these snails and tortured goose liver. More, please!" Aliona Russo, a non-fancy woman, recently sat down for dinner at Manhattan's fancy Villagio on the Park restaurant and was traumatized to find a perfectly fresh fish sitting on her plate. So fresh, in fact, that the hook was still sitting in the little fishy's mouth.